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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

To want to get my child tested by an educational psychologist....

359 replies

royaljelly · 26/10/2011 23:36

Sorry quite long as a bit of backgroung is needed.

My daughter turned 2 at the end of June 2011 and she is really intelligent (may be biased).

The main factors are:

Can count to 20 in English

Can count to 8 in Spanish, (we do not speak spanish and think she has picked this up from Dora),

She recognises if you ask her to count in Spanish or English.

Often counts backwards from 10 correctly, even whilst playing

Will remember statements, such as, 'We will build a den after dinner'. As soon as dinner is done we have to build a den.

Recognises colours such as pink, purple, brown, as well as primary ones and will get the correct crayon even if the wrapping is a different colour.

Recognises shapes and can draw them if asked.

Spots mumbers in the street and calls them out.

Has circled the toys in the Argos catalogue for Xmas.... we thought she was scribbling but she has a definate view on what she wants, (quite a tomboy and has missed out the entire girly range except for a kitchen).

As parents we thought she was rather bright, but thought our own biased views made this the case. This has now been picked up by her childminder and even people at the bus-stop who think she is older than she actually is.

I have been on the Mensa website and they have said that for children under 10, their tests be carried out by an educational psychologist.

They seem to mainly carry out tests on ADHD or troubled kids and partner now thinks that if I go ahead and organise this it may label her.

I think that if we get advice on encouraging and building her intelligence then this will benefit her in the future.

I should add that we do not sit her down and command her to draw shapes or count, but do this as part of family fun time ie: sat on one parents knee as we play Trivial Pursuit with her much older brothers, (she gets to move the counter).

Do I go ahead with the tests or not. I am afraid of becoming complacent with her intelligence and not allowing her to have the best opportunies in the future.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 27/10/2011 00:50

Squeaky..... Come on now, keep up with the thread! You just got told off! That's at least 3 of us on the naughty step so far

SacreLao · 27/10/2011 00:50

Ooooh we have wine??

Where's mine Hmm

531800000008 · 27/10/2011 00:50

ok, relenting a bit here

obv she needs to be able to challenge herself physically, so provide opportunities to make large motor movements (running, climbing, swimming, scooting, catching and throwing balloons, scramble nets, trampoline

smaller motor movements - playdough, finger painting, scrunching newspaper, counting and moving pencils/buttons/raisins, puzzles, large tweezers

provide props like a prism, decent mag glass, look at Montessori resources, join the local wildlife trust

explore moving to music, marble painting, chalking on the patio, making faces with fruit, fuzzy felt, musical instruments, junk modelling (the making process is kind of more important than the end product)

take her to groups to socialise with peers

worraliberty · 27/10/2011 00:52

Face it OP you want to get her tested by Mensa so you can 'brag' about her score.

You might as well be honest about it.

On a more serious note, if you don't stop this pushy attitude you run the risk of making her clam up and simply behave like other 2yr olds because they are allowed to be intelligent without having to go through tests for their parent's sake.

I thought this sort of attitude was reserved for the parents of 'beauty pageant' children.

531800000008 · 27/10/2011 00:53

oh now I feel a dork because I've been bollocked again

[takes ball back]

CaptainNancy · 27/10/2011 00:54

WHy have you posted this again?

Did you not like the answers last time?

OurPlanetNeptune · 27/10/2011 00:54

I just do not understand the point of testing her now ... how reliable can tests on a 2 year old be? Why the desperation to have your child certified as a genius? I can't imagine any benefits for the daughter at this stage of her development.

If you are for real royaljelly, I would have a serious think about who this charade would be for. IMHO, not your daughter but perhaps for you - major boasting potential.

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 00:56

Well thats me told off... but its bedtime anyway... got to take the 3yr old to her advanced russian language lessons in the morning... cant be late, wouldnt be fair on the rest of the class... (well she is the teacher... )

toodles! Grin

worraliberty · 27/10/2011 00:57

Toodles Squeaky Grin

freeandhappy · 27/10/2011 00:58

you spelt definitely and savant wrong too i'm afraid op. i must say all the things you've described sound absolutely bog standard for a 2 year old. but then my two are both gifted cos they take after me Wink

GypsyMoth · 27/10/2011 01:02

Oh dear... Has this been posted before?

SacreLao · 27/10/2011 01:04

Looks like it.

I always wonder why do people post in AIBU if they cannot accept being told that they are?

Mumsnet should have a section named 'everyone come and agree with my ridiculous views to make me feel better'

Imagine it would be quite popular Grin

Original poster
royaljelly · 27/10/2011 01:05

Let's get this straight... You think that because I think my child may have an above average I.Q. that I should NOT explore what I can do to encourage her.

Are you crazy? I will do whatever is needed, however much I can afford to give my child a 'leg up' in life.

If you are not willing to do the same then SHAME ON YOU!

OP posts:
freeandhappy · 27/10/2011 01:09

go for it!

worraliberty · 27/10/2011 01:10

The sad thing is, what the OP has described isn't imo particularly 'bog standard' (because children aren't) but nor is it exceptional either when you break it down.

Lots of 2yr olds can count forwards and backwards...they know their colours and reciting 8 numbers from a Cartoon is no different to reciting a nursery rhyme really is it?

OP I'm not trying to piss on your chips. Your little girl does sound bright and lovely but much the same as many other 2yr olds who I would hope are allowed to continue to grow without intelligence 'tests'.

One thing almost 20yrs of parenthood and 3 children has taught me is....the peers of bright toddlers soon catch up with them at school and often leave them far behind.

Just enjoy your DD and if she's faced with any challenges when she starts school, sort it out then.

exexpat · 27/10/2011 01:12

I don't think anyone on here is saying you shouldn't encourage her in any way.

It's just that no one else thinks 'encouraging' her or doing your best for her would involve taking a 2-year-old to an educational psychologist. Which is what your original post asked.

Are you saying shame on me because I have never taken my two children to a psychologist? Hmm

I have to say I think you'd do better spending the money on books, jigsaw puzzles and trips to the zoo. Plus possibly enrolling her in a montessori nursery in a year or so's time.

SacreLao · 27/10/2011 01:12

As free said go for it then.

Shouldn't you encourage your DD anyway no matter her IQ however?
Or is your time and effort only reserved for your intellegent children?

Why don't you give ALL your children a 'leg up in life' and stop prioritising this one? Not that anyone will give a flying fuck what her IQ score was in 10 years time.

You can't get into university based on an IQ score from when you were 2 years old FGS, it means nothing in the future!

worraliberty · 27/10/2011 01:13

Why would an adult need advice on how to encourage their own child to learn at the age of 2?

What exactly is it you need to be told? Confused

Just teach her to count, read and take an interest in the world around her if that's what she's into...it's not rocket science is it?

SacreLao · 27/10/2011 01:15

But the OP only seems to feel the need to encourage her child 'IF' she has a high IQ.

perfumedlife · 27/10/2011 01:17

OP Squeakytoy has been really, really patient waiting on your reply as to the midwife's comment. Could it be that her apgar score was 9 or 10 at one minute then 10 at five minutes? Are you fixating on this being an indication of future intelligence? Because if you are, I do believe it's more a predictor of future health.

EvilLittleLeprechaun · 27/10/2011 01:53

I am not sure whether your post is serious, but I thought I'd answer anyway as (1) I have almost finished training to become an educational psychologist and (2) I would probably fall into the category of "gifted" (pushed ahead a grade at school, received academic scholarships to a prestigious private high school and university, was "dux" of high school and my undergraduate university program, etc.) - although I have never done an IQ test. I've also name-changed by the way.

"IQ tests" available for 2-year-olds are limited and could more be described as "developmental assessments" than tests of cognitive ability. Their results are also unreliable at such a young age, and not very predictive. All children develop at different rates. Some may seem advanced at 2 years but average at 5 years; some may seem advanced at 2 years and may continue to be this way throughout their lives. In my opinion there is no point in assessing a seemingly advanced 2-year-old. They don't need help, they have an advantage already compared to their peers, the test results aren't that reliable - what is the point? I'm also not sure that your daughter's skills could be classified as "exceptionally advanced" - there are many same-aged children who could do these things, and many who could not. In my opinion it is common sense how you could facilitate your child's cognitive development - just give your child lots of natural learning opportunities targeted at their level, the way you would for any child. Just the fun, playful things that all children like to do - reading together, playing, play dough, puzzles, dress-ups, bubbles, drawing, art and craft, little day trips, going to museums and libraries and art galleries, etc. etc. At this developmental stage, children need to play and to be children, that is how their brain naturally develops. In my opinion an IQ test for an "advanced" child wouldn't really be worth doing in terms of its validity and predictive value until the child was 6-8 years old.

On a personal level, I am so glad my parents didn't push me or "hothouse" me or label me or put me into a "gifted and talented" program. I just enjoyed being a child, enjoyed the fact that learning came easily to me, and never had an ego or a sense that I was "smarter" than other children. I had a drive to achieve in my high school years and was never complacent. Some children who are told from an early age that they are smarter may become complacent or anxious to live up to others' expectations. In my opinion it is so much better to just enjoy being a normal child, which is what all children are. I didn't need extra "scaffolding to develop my cognitive skills" because learning already came easily to me. I am certain that I would not have benefited from being "marked apart" from my peers. So I think you should just let your daughter be a child and enjoy her childhood, and be confident that if she is cognitively gifted she will find learning easy anyway and hopefully will work hard and achieve well because that's what she's capable of doing.

I also think Mensa is a bit of a crock to be honest - a society for people who want everyone to know they're really smart, and who (perhaps embarrassingly?) have paid money to have this verified so that they can advertise their status and feel superior to others? Maybe you should wait until your daughter is old enough to decide for herself whether or not she wants to pursue becoming a Mensa member.

worraliberty · 27/10/2011 02:02
Cathycomehome · 27/10/2011 03:19

Ahem - my son could do all of what the OP describes at the same age. Set 3 out of 5 anyone....Two year old precociousness does not a genius make.

Cathycomehome · 27/10/2011 03:23

Should clarify - set 3 out of 5 sets at secondary school. Not so genius now, right? (But still my gorgeous and utterly wonderful son).

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/10/2011 03:41

There is a lot of evidence to suggest that children who are pushed because you their seeming intelligence when young can do more POORLY than there peers. Firstly, because they are told that they are clever rather than that they have to work hard. This leads to them thinking that things should be easy and they therefore give up before children that are told they need to work hard. Secondly, early spurts in development appear to be completely unrelated to future IQ. If Mensa and EdPsych unprofessionals are saying different it may be because they are paid a lot of money by pushy interested parents.

I speak as someone with a very high IQ, DH is even higher, DB and DF are genius level. I wouldn't dream of testing DD. Absolutely no point. Oh, and gifted programs at this age are a pile of crap.