To want to get my child tested by an educational psychologist....

[royaljelly]

Sorry quite long as a bit of backgroung is needed.

My daughter turned 2 at the end of June 2011 and she is really intelligent (may be biased).

The main factors are:

Can count to 20 in English

Can count to 8 in Spanish, (we do not speak spanish and think she has picked this up from Dora),

She recognises if you ask her to count in Spanish or English.

Often counts backwards from 10 correctly, even whilst playing

Will remember statements, such as, 'We will build a den after dinner'. As soon as dinner is done we have to build a den.

Recognises colours such as pink, purple, brown, as well as primary ones and will get the correct crayon even if the wrapping is a different colour.

Recognises shapes and can draw them if asked.

Spots mumbers in the street and calls them out.

Has circled the toys in the Argos catalogue for Xmas.... we thought she was scribbling but she has a definate view on what she wants, (quite a tomboy and has missed out the entire girly range except for a kitchen).

As parents we thought she was rather bright, but thought our own biased views made this the case. This has now been picked up by her childminder and even people at the bus-stop who think she is older than she actually is.

I have been on the Mensa website and they have said that for children under 10, their tests be carried out by an educational psychologist.

They seem to mainly carry out tests on ADHD or troubled kids and partner now thinks that if I go ahead and organise this it may label her.

I think that if we get advice on encouraging and building her intelligence then this will benefit her in the future.

I should add that we do not sit her down and command her to draw shapes or count, but do this as part of family fun time ie: sat on one parents knee as we play Trivial Pursuit with her much older brothers, (she gets to move the counter).

Do I go ahead with the tests or not. I am afraid of becoming complacent with her intelligence and not allowing her to have the best opportunies in the future.

Oh, bless.

Have her tested, it will make you feel like a good parent.

doubt it mumofthree at 2yo (as in just turned like OP's) my DS said about 10 stand alone words and just ran around like a loon.

DS is now is top set for Math and Science despite being the youngest - as many have said it all evens all in the end.

I know what you mean mumofthree. I have to keep reassuring myself that my DD age three isn't delayed because she isn't even up to the level my DS was at at 2. She is much better at drawing though and was quicker to learn her colours.

Have really enjoyed all the stealth boasting on this thread.

Well done OP for giving us the pretext for it.

Mumof3 - all my kids are developmentally delayed by mn standards. I end up having to boast about their weird and pointless talents, like being able to whistle and eat jellied eels without vomiting.

Mumof3, Mumleigh: I meant it when I posted above that I'd be delighted if any of my four year olds could have done all the things OP listed.
Mine are tending to be high achievers at school, nonetheless, in spite of unremarkable toddler/preschool years.

{falls of chair laughing at submitting test scores to MENSA} sorry, but my ds is 1 month older than your dd and can do all these things except count in Spanish. He can also write his name (only 3 letters), knows all his letter sounds and if you say 3 sounds he can blend them into a familiar word. But is he a child genious errrrrr........ no!

I can't eat jellied eels, I must be so thick.

Seriously though, DS1 is overly bright and intelligent and to be honest it's been bloody hard work at times. Now he's at a good, small school he's getting the support he needs but is not being pushed to be a "genius". He's being allowed to fulfil his current potential. Remember it's a marathon, not a sprint.

Take your ed.psych money and spend it on membership to the national trust and other things like that. We do that with our boys and for DS1 it's great because he can ask questions and learn through fun.

Such a little brainy! Test! Go for it! The youngest ever on G&T register! Just a bit not sure whether it is another Mozart or another Newton or another Shakespear or the combine of all three plus more.

Must have to clarify:

I am not a pushy parent and I want my daughters childhood years to be loads of fun. I also will be proud of my children whatever they decide to do in life, so long as it is not sit on their ass and do nothing.

My 1st child was earmarked as an intelligent child but since he has turned 12 'girls' have taken over his mind.

I am not expecting my daughter to be the next einstein and i realise that she will probably make a few mistakes in life. She may even go completely of the rails and rebel against her parents like I did.

I would hope I can find advice to encourage her intelligence so that if she does rebel, some years later she can get it back.

I would also want to encourage her to have a good work ethic and do anything that makes her more marketable for jobs.

Some of you have slated this idea of UNI and any other qualifications or even membership into MENSA, as we all know in the current climate 100 people applying for a janitors job (even degree level) everything counts towards that high paid position.

Of course I think about my daughters future in a way that maybe I had not before.

If I can find any way / oultet to encourage this above her peers then I am going to take it.

Some posters have mentioned 'who is going to pay for this'. They are just trying to start some benfits war. When it comes to any of my childrens education, money is no option.

I realise that this may all be wasted when she turns into a teen all communication or education may be lost.I already have a sulky nearly 13 yr old. At least the chances I have not been given will empower them.

Once they get to this age if they are slacki9ng then YES I will be a pushy mum, and they will hate me for it till they have kids of their own.

Well, jolly good luck to you- I still doubt that an assessment at this point will make any difference, as you are doing well without it.

Thanks for a fun thread though

Hey, OP - I know EXACTLY where you're coming from with this one :) (I also, once upon a time got absolutely flamed for DARING to post a question about my DD being G&T - so I can also imagine how you might feel.) Please just keep up your dignity and ignore the vast majority flaming and making fun of this thread - they simply do not understand what having a gifted child is like.

I'm guessing that in addition to the things you mention about your DD there are hundreds of other incidents you have witnessed. I know what you mean about realising something different soon after birth - I worked out (in hindsight) how unusual my DD1's reactions were within 2 weeks of birth. She was my first one, so no point of comparison at the time.

Over the years I felt DD was just a little bit different, and many people commented on how bright she is - to this day we will literally get stopped in the street for complete strangers to tell her how intelligent she sounds! With her it never evened out. She has just been tested this summer (aged 7) and yes - my hunch was right all along, she is very firmly in the gifted category (more so than I expected). As a parent you just know your child best, and if you feel your DD is exceptional, she quite probably is. (Unfortunately my DD had to be tested as the school thought there was something wrong with her, and she was having difficulties at school. )

And while there is an awful lot to say for "just enjoying her" and "letting her be a child", your instinct to find out more about intelligence in children is absolutely spot on. Being exceptionally intelligent is a Special Need in its own right - albeit not a recognised one in the UK education system at least. You simply need to be clued up to how the highly intelligent child differs from the average, and cater for their needs. Unfortunately many people mistake this for being a 'pushy parent'. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Can I also point out that it's awfully hard to fulfill potential if you don't know you have any? (This is what happened to me - it's only in the aftermath of my DD being tested that my mother told me I was a very bright child too. I really wish I had known and understood properly why I felt so different all of my childhood and adolescence. I'm only coming to terms with "fulfiling my potential" now, in my 40s!) And knowing you're gifted is clearly not the same as boasting or encouraging a superiority complex, is it? If a child is naturally good at, say, football, do most parents go: "ooh, you must keep that one quiet, mustn't show off your skills. Your friends won't like you if you score too many goals." Of course not! Why is being brilliant at numeracy or literacy any different? And of course there is a sensible, healthy, sane, matter-of-fact and down-to-earth way of discussing intelligence and encouraging the child to fulfill their high learning potential.

Having said that, perhaps EvilLittleLeprechaun has a point in that testing is not reliable until the age of 6-7 (when you can use WISC, the gold standard test). Perhaps a better way forward might be to join an organisation such as the NAGC and get help, support and information, not to mention finding others who are in the same situation?

NAGC website is here

Your DD sounds incredibly bright, funny and lovely. Hope you find a way forward. PM me if you would like to!

Not sure if the OP has or will come back to the thread but couldn't see this and not post. You can search under my name and see the flaming I got when I posted about ds1 at 20 months. As it turns out he was tested at 4 and has genius level IQ. This type of profound giftedness needs to be recognized early on as there are SO many things that these children need. We are lucky to be in the US where gifted children are treated differently than in the UK. Go to the NAGC website for more information. But the whole thing of waiting it out etc is really not the best thing for children who fall into this category. There is such a thing as "gifted drop-out" wherein, if the child is not properly nurtured he/she does decide to just do what it takes to get by and not bother with exploring further. We moved almost 500 miles to put ds1 into a school that would provide the proper challenge for him - that's how seriously we take our responsibility towards raising a gifted child. It is not all fun and games. They can have major issues socially, being miles ahead of their friends in some ways and then behind in others. Follow your instincts. If you want testing done the earliest is typically at 4 and it can be difficult to find someone who does it before age 6. Gifted children are amazing, exhausting and everything in between. And yes, they really are out there.

I love these threads :)

Seriously though why is IQ seen as so important still? In so many cases it means fuck all - you can be of low IQ and successful, you can be of exceedingly high IQ and get nowhere in life... It just doesn't matter IME, there is so much more to a person than how they do on a narrow assessment.

Howard Gardner has a better view on it with the 7 areas (now 8, including a nature related intelligence which I'm reading about), I just don't get why there is still such an emphasis on IQ

Incidentally I read an article about the current (unless she's been overtaken since) youngest Mensa member, it made a big deal about the fact this 2yo could tell the difference between pink and purple and how this meant she was a genius. I really did LOL at that.

Have not read to the end yet but just saw your latest post OP - YES I will be a pushy mum, and they will hate me for it till they have kids of their own.

There is a significant chance they will feel the opposite, and actually hate you more for it. Please think about it.

That's not to say, btw, that your DD isn't absolutely lovely, she sounds fab... Just make sure you make it clear you love HER, not her brightness or her talents.

I recently realised I never had that from my parents... It was all about my achievement... Hence my previous post.

You talk about potential, but don't think too much about the future because your DD is a person RIGHT NOW.

I'm remembering those Child Genius programmes, there were a couple of DCs assessed who actually turned out fairly average, and the look of disappointment on the parents' faces were clear. Made me wonder would my parents have loved me so much if I were 'average'.

IQ is just one way of assessing a child's potential, that is true. however, I do not think it should be completely disregarded. A child who has an IQ of 160 does have different opportunities from a child with an IQ of 60. That is simply the way it is. And parents of profoundly gifted children need to know what they are dealing with as soon as possible. It is a massive responsibility to balance nurturing the child intellectually and also providing a sense of normal social interaction. The difficulties cannot be understated and should not be minimalized.

DS1 was doing all of what your DD was doing by 2. By 2.5yrs he was reading and writing, at 5 (reception) he was reading yr2 books, yr2 he got such a high sats result - he had walked the test, by half way throgh year 3 he had read every book in the school. the same year he had a short story published - I imagine you get the picture!

Fast forward to February 2011 DS1 aged 12 was diagnosed with Aspergers.

He was so far and still is so far educationally advanced - although in some subjects he struggles. But don't expect that intelligence to shine through in a group situation..

OP let your DD be 2 fgs

leboof my ds does the friction shuffle using the walls to get in the attic
no farrow and ball for me

as we all know in the current climate 100 people applying for a janitors job (even degree level) everything counts towards that high paid position.

Mensa membership would probably count against an applicant for a caretaker's job. There's such a thing as over-qualified, too.

You keep using Americanisms, OP, are you American?

Please come back in ten-15 years and tell us how your strategy paid off, OP.
It sounds like you're not doing half as much for your other DC, though :(.
You might want to look up DadAtLarge's posts; he insists that everybody should be home-educated, and especially bright kids.

royaljelly,
My daughter is now 12 and was like yours , probably doing things even younger than yours. Didn't go to nursery as i was with her at home and so she went to school at 4. Teacher not impressed as she could already read books and write well and it was joined up. I got a telling off about it. Apparently they don't like them too advanced as it throws the teaching out. She was put on gifted and talented register in primary school (although i wasn't told she was on it until she was in year 6) and was always told she was gifted and very able. BUT she has never been tested by anyone and i would never let her get tested. Only tests she has had are normal school assessments and her sats. I know she is bright (i am a single parent) and she knows she is bright. Her friends know she is bright. But whilst she was at primary , although her friends always knew her as being "smart" the parents gave us a tough time. Ignoring us or talking about us behind our backs saying things like "who do they think they are? she's only a single parent". So single parents can't have bright children? These were the posher type of parents too but their children were average or below average as i used to help in the school and knew what they were like. Daughter did used to get singled out for things at primary such as reading in assembly and having the biggest part in school plays, but apart from that and having more homework than the others, that was it. Oh and helping children in lower ability groups with their work! Just let your sweetheart do what she wants (within reason of course) and see what happpens. Like some of the posts, if you try and get tests done you would be made to feel like some type of weirdo or pushy parent. Hopefully i am neither but just want whats best and i let her get on with it. Daughter is still doing well and now in year 8 and already has gsce maths A* from year 7 but wasn't really acknowledged for it by her school. Its because it is just "expected" by her. Levels now are 7a or 8c in all subjects except pe as she is not interested in that. Just be careful when yours starts school as you might get a telling off from reception teacher if she is too bright! Hope it all goes well and best wishes.

Im really at the OP's comments.

Who thinks that MENSA membership is anything special. The only thing that would tell me in a job application is that you were gulible enough to pay to join MENSA. Putting your IQ on a job application would also make me as its about what you have done with your IQ in terms of qualifications and skills, not really what the raw score is.

I work in a profession with a lot of very very intelligent people, but even given that anyone who as an adult talked about their IQ and how clever they were as a child would look a bit sad.

I know someone who talks about her child just as the OP is doing here. The child gets a lot of sympathy, but people actively avoid the mum.

Hear hear, Jabberwocky & Ibizagirl! Glad to see other posters be a bit more sympathetic towards the OP at last . Hope it makes you feel better and less alone, OP, to know there are other parents out there who know what you're going through and aren't as prejudiced & judgmental as the heaving unwashed seem to be!

Catsareevil - you've obviously discontinued your Mensa membership then if it's 'nothing special'? How is Mensa membership more elitist/snobbish than, say, playing footy in the Premier League? Aren't both just a bunch of people who are different because they're exceptionally brilliant at something?

I wouldnt apply for Mensa membership! I think its a bit of a pointless organisation and I have doubts about the validity of their IQ testing. Its not due to a concern about elitism or snobbishness, though I have noticed that people who bang on about their high IQ in real life are often quite irritating.

I dont think that doing a mensa IQ test and deciding to join them is a sign of being exceptionally brilliant at something, so I dont think that the analogy to the premier league holds.