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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

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Original poster

To want to get my child tested by an educational psychologist....

359 replies

royaljelly · 26/10/2011 23:36

Sorry quite long as a bit of backgroung is needed.

My daughter turned 2 at the end of June 2011 and she is really intelligent (may be biased).

The main factors are:

Can count to 20 in English

Can count to 8 in Spanish, (we do not speak spanish and think she has picked this up from Dora),

She recognises if you ask her to count in Spanish or English.

Often counts backwards from 10 correctly, even whilst playing

Will remember statements, such as, 'We will build a den after dinner'. As soon as dinner is done we have to build a den.

Recognises colours such as pink, purple, brown, as well as primary ones and will get the correct crayon even if the wrapping is a different colour.

Recognises shapes and can draw them if asked.

Spots mumbers in the street and calls them out.

Has circled the toys in the Argos catalogue for Xmas.... we thought she was scribbling but she has a definate view on what she wants, (quite a tomboy and has missed out the entire girly range except for a kitchen).

As parents we thought she was rather bright, but thought our own biased views made this the case. This has now been picked up by her childminder and even people at the bus-stop who think she is older than she actually is.

I have been on the Mensa website and they have said that for children under 10, their tests be carried out by an educational psychologist.

They seem to mainly carry out tests on ADHD or troubled kids and partner now thinks that if I go ahead and organise this it may label her.

I think that if we get advice on encouraging and building her intelligence then this will benefit her in the future.

I should add that we do not sit her down and command her to draw shapes or count, but do this as part of family fun time ie: sat on one parents knee as we play Trivial Pursuit with her much older brothers, (she gets to move the counter).

Do I go ahead with the tests or not. I am afraid of becoming complacent with her intelligence and not allowing her to have the best opportunies in the future.

OP posts:

Ephiny · 27/10/2011 12:22

I agree it's often unhelpful to set children up with 'gifted' and 'genius' as part of their identity, especially when it's really too early for any such assessment to be meaningful. It can be a shock and a disappointment when you realise you're just a moderately bright but essentially ordinary person!

Also in my case it was counter-productive - after a certain stage I actually did worse in exams than I should have done, because I didn't bother to make any effort. It wasn't really until university (after disappointing GCSEs and A-levels) that I got my head around the idea that I actually had to put in the hours studying like everyone else if I wanted to do well, that there was no magic 'gift' that was going to help me in the exams, that the examiners were not going to give me top grades just for being an extra-special little person .

I suppose if I was actually so smart, I'd have figured that out a lot sooner!

RefereezaWanka · 27/10/2011 12:23

I was considered 'gifted' as a kid, btw, possibly because I grew up in a shit area of London and went to a pretty rough school and the teachers just couldnt believe that me, a little Irish girl from a working class family, could be so bright. I remember clearly how they marvelled at the fact I could read fluently at 4 years old and was writing novellas at the age of 6 (seriously - I was an annoyingly precocious child!). I also had an exceptional memory, which meant I could learn things really quickly.

You know what, though? I was just good at some stuff other people weren't so good at. but there were plenty of things I wasn't good at. I think 'gifted' is a stupid, pointless label. It doesn't help anyone in any way as far as I can see, other than to either a) give people a superiority complex or b) - as in my case - put an enormous amount of pressure on them to perform.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/10/2011 12:26

Children all seem to catch up with each other. Fixate on letting her develop at her own pace and enjoy being 2, that's what I would do.

I deplore the over-fussiness of some parents that are obsessed with labelling and pigeon-holing when there's just no need. Enjoy your child for goodness sakes, she'll be annoying you plenty when she's a teen and you'll cringe at the thought of your thread (if you remember it).

sieglinde · 27/10/2011 12:31

Hi, OP. It will not help in ANY WAY with uni applications to have her labelled a genius at 2. People who say in UCAS PSs that they are members of Mensa cut no ice, I fear. She's lovely, and if she is clever she will be fine. Just be patient and let her evolve. She's lucky to have people around who want to extend her.

JajasWjolef · 27/10/2011 12:32

Let's face it the OP has buggered orf and we will never get to know what the midwife said..... [hconfused].

Dawndonna · 27/10/2011 12:35

Sorry, OP. First of all, I imagine everybody on here does the best for their child, academically and socially. Doing the best for your child means that they have time to be a child. I suggest you take a look at some of the Ruth Lawrence articles. I believe she no longer communicates with her parents. Very sensible.
Whatever you do, it's about getting the balance right.
Oh, and again, mine were all doing these sort of things at that age, and they're all bilingual, again, dragged up in a bilingual home.
They are also all in Gifted and Talented, but the one doing his A levels is far more interested in beer, his girlfriend and being in a rock band at the moment, despite his IQ of 162. That's normal.

GypsyMoth · 27/10/2011 12:41

Well yes, think she's gone. Didn't get us all gasping and asking how on earth she made such a child! Not what she wanted to hear was it!

I blame the midwife for all this!

Robotindisguise · 27/10/2011 12:42

Well, if your DD's Mensa material, so's mine. I won't be rushing to test her though as I'm pretty sure it's the high end of normal, which is lovely and gratifying and all, but no real reason to call Bletchley Park

WitchesAreComing · 27/10/2011 12:43

My PFB only got 9 out of 10 on her APGAR. I was of a mind to challenge it because she lost a point for colour but she is very naturally blonde and pale so it hardly seems fair.

Was there really a thread about that? Would love to read it. I haven't a clue what my son's was. I'm an uncaring parent like that.

TheScaryJessie · 27/10/2011 12:46

Basically, just try to give all three of your children as many opportuities as possible. We hope you all have emotionally and financially rewarding lives.

Hugz and kisses from all at MN!

Hardgoing · 27/10/2011 12:46

Oh dear, I made the mistake of googlins Ruth Lawrence and learn that she is an associate professor in mathematics, and has managed to fit in four children as well. And is a year younger than me. Not all child geniuses fall flat on their faces, although I take the point about her parents.

TandB · 27/10/2011 12:46

I might get DS tested. I reckon the report would say something like "good vocabulary, advanced climbing and trashing stuff skills, but how has he not yet figured out that diving headfirst off chairs will hurt?"

perceptionreality · 27/10/2011 12:50

I think that the whole concept of mensa is snobby and unpleasant anyway, can you imagine if there was a club for beautiful people only?

MrsMooo · 27/10/2011 12:53

I haven't read the whole thread but DS is the same age and of the same ability (bar the spanish though he is picking up German from a kid at nursery) and has been identified by the nursery as "gifted" and has passed most of his 3 to 4 milestones (yeah PMM there)

But at two it makes no difference, the best thing you can do is continue to encourage your DD development through play and let her be a todler

seriously, no one is going to care if she was identifed as a genius at two when she applies to uni, YABU and a bit precious. If she's still showing signs of being gifted when she starts school, adn you think that her needs aren't going to be met - THEN get her assessed, for now just let her be a very clever child

LeBOOOf · 27/10/2011 12:55

I know what you mean about the climbing, kungfu- one morning I opened dd2's door, and her pyjamas and nappy were lying abandoned in the middle of the room, and she was nowhere to be seen. It was like she had dematerialised. I searched the whole house, and was starting to wonder how far a naked child would get down the main road without somebody noticing...I eventually heard a little sigh in her bedroom, and found her asleep, nude, on top of her seven foot high melamine wardrobe . It doesn't even have any handles on it for leverage- I still haven't worked out how she scaled a smooth sided free-standing giant piece of furniture. She won't be joining Mensa any time soon, but she is some kind of evil genius!

TheScaryJessie · 27/10/2011 12:56

I've never seen it- but someone told me about it when I was pregnant. It might not have been on this forum, even...

Apparently the proud mama was over-the-moon with her baby's achievement, though. And what it said about her own diet and lifestyle during pregnancy.

TheBrideofFrankenstein · 27/10/2011 12:56

It's half term this week in the UK, right?

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 27/10/2011 13:01

This sounds bigheaded but I am just giving a benchmark for a gifted 2 year old as I was studied by the university here as one. I was apparently reading the newspaper by 2.

Fat lot of good it did me in life and my nearly 40 year old brain is now addled with tiredness

TheScaryJessie · 27/10/2011 13:02

LeBOOOf: how old is she?!

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 27/10/2011 13:03

Reading the paper in buggy did cause passers-by some amusement I have to say.

LeBOOOf · 27/10/2011 13:05

She was probably about seven then (learning disabled, hence the nappy), but still a tiny dot. The wardrobe was so tall she wasn't visible from ground level

TandB · 27/10/2011 13:05

[wracks brains frantically for anything to beat 7 foot wardrobe story]

[fails and resolves to book DS into climbing classes asap in order to maintain climbing supremacy]

LeBOOOf · 27/10/2011 13:06

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/10/2011 13:07

I just don't remember such an emphasis on gifted and talented when I was at school. There were one or two exceptional pupils that really did stand out and the rest of us were 'normal'. There was no stigma being 'normal', there were grades within that but not every child was declared a genius and these days every child seems to be on a register for it, prodded along by their earnest paents. So if the register is now the 'norm', what does that actually mean?

PosiesOfPoison · 27/10/2011 13:07

Springy mattress?
Bendy brush? ( a la pole vault)
suckers on her feet?
Jammy hands?

[nope no idea]

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