that's tricky. we've had the usual patting dd2 on the head and 'ah bless' ing because of her disability, but the teachers have always clicked on pretty quickly that any pity is misplaced.
(and it's always faintly reassuring to see the look of horror on patronising parents faces when they realise their own little nt bundle is a long way behind)
do you think there is a reason why dd is hiding her light under a bushel, so to speak? is she quite confident, or not?
we did ask in yr 1 about ds1, because school had quite happily announced he was g&t for literacy (and he'd been 'noted' on entry for reading skills etc), when we knew that although he was pretty smart, and could read early and whatnot, that his real innate talent was numbers (he was doing number bonds and multiplication at 3 - and could work out mentally costs and change when playing shops, with real money. we didn't teach him, numbers just seemed to make sense to him). so i just asked them how he was doing at maths, and said really that was his thing. they sort of looked a bit baffled and said 'well, he's doing fine'. i asked if they had ever asked him any maths question he couldn't answer, and they looked a bit nervous. i just said they might want to test him a bit further and see if he needed challenging. a week later he was moved up a year for maths classes as they had actually paid attention to him and made an effort to find out what he couldn't answer, rather than what he could.
it is tricky. the curriculum is so limited that unless it becomes apparent in some way, it won't even be noticed that kids are working above the norm - i dread to think how many kids are essentially going through the motions because there is nothing else on offer, whilst their brains are more than capable of a really good workout.
i wonder why they aren't noticing her though? it is funny how some kids get labelled and others not...
(if it helps, i'm currently considering home ed for ds1. he doesn't really fit with school and is far more motivated in extending the school work off in other directions than actually answering questions 1-4. i'm just not that convinced any more that answering q 1-4 are intrinsically more valuable than building and testing some scientific instrument or other, especially for him)
dd2 has always been happy at school though, whatever they are doing. and she'll just find ways of extending herself, whatever is going on at school.