Teachers don't understand him...

[vrooom]

Sorry for the long message to follow, any advice welcome.

DS1, just turned six but in yr2, is exceptionally bright, gifted if you like. We know this by the amazing conversations we have with him, the conclusions he draws and things he has done early. Eg he was completely independent on the computer, starting it up, inputting password, double clicking to start the web browser and clicking on bookmarks to open up cbeebies aged 2 and 3 months. He was never taught, just caught him at it one morning at 4 am...

However, he only shows his ability in things he is interested in. When reading the NAGC comparision, gifted vs bright, he meets none of the bright criteria and pretty much all the gifted ones. I.e. he is a bit of a difficult child, wants to always make up new rules, always inventing things and lives in his own world.

Anywhere he goes where he has a lot of one on one attention, eg summer playscheme, the teachers/coaches/leaders always make a point of how bright he is. They seek me out to talk about the conversations they have had and how we must nurture his talents. They don't do this to anyone else. His violin teacher of two weeks, a mature lady who has clicked with him, hit the nail on the head when she said that she has never taught anyone like him before. With most children you teach them from 1 to 100, with DS1 you teach him 1, then 78, then 23 etc and hope that 2, 3 and 4 fit themselves in somewhere along the way. You can only teach him what he wants to learn.

School teachers don't understand this. I tried having a meeting with his teacher last week, but clearly didn't get the message across. His year 1 teacher admitted a huge problem in motivating him. What he needs is problem solving. Give him something interesting to solve and he will complete work for children way older. If you give him simple or uninspired work to do he switches off and says he does't know the answer. At school he gets away with it.

My concern is that he keeps switching off at school and is unmotivated and unhappy. He always says the only thing he likes about school is playtime.

Any advice? Anyone found themselves in a similar situation? I don't want to be the "pushy mum" which is how I fell like I come across to the teachers. I just want him stimulated at school and for them to understand that he is different.

Oh, I see. That's interesting - some people who're dyslexic or dyslexically-inclined struggle with table and pattern-based rote learning.

It must be a tricky balance not wanting to put him off by insisting he learn the basics, and also not letting him get away with too much. I can imagine finding it very tempting to switch off on the boring things, especially if he gets credit from you/teachers for doing things that are more interesting.

" I myself was what is now "exceptionally gifted". "

What is your Nobel prize in? What heavily cited papers have you published? Or in what other way did your "exceptionally gifted" status manifest itself.

So you were in the top 0.1% of intelligence. That's one in a thousand: there should be one in every decent sized comprehensive school.

littlereddragon

We don't want to let him get away with stuff, so whatever he needs to learn for yr2 he has to learn. But don't want to hold him back from learning more complex things that interest him because he has learned his timestables.

Don't think he is dyslexic as his reading is fantastic. His reading is great because he loves stories - something he has wanted to learn.

tokyonambu

that't right, one in a thousand. There are thousands of people out there at that level. The label it gets nowadays is "exceptionally gifted", in my day we just got on with it.

My son is very funny, totally gets sarcasm and irony and is very quirky, but yes, he is certainly 'different'. My son rarely shows what he is capable of partly because has no desire whatsoever to impress his teachers or show off his knowledge. He learns because he wants to know something for himself, so I am dreading exams, when the point is to show someone else what you have learned and to present it in a prescribed way. That's so not his style! But tbh I wish it was. It would make his life much easier.

littlered

that was supposed to be hasn't learned his timestables

I didn't mean to suggest he was dyslexic, only that it's known that some people do find pattern-based facts very hard to learn. I think that although he sounds as if he learns in an interesting, non-uniform way, he will have plenty of company. It's pretty rare for a child to learn everything in a neat progression.

Yup my son has no interest in times tables, so won't learn them. It is very difficult to get my son to learn anything he doesn't want to. He is exceptionally stubborn. He will also say 'I don't know' when he means 'I can't be bothered to tell you'.

Btw, on that issue, I bet he'll get better at times tables as he gets older - he'll just have done the calculations so often they'll become more hardwired, if you see what I mean.

'He will also say 'I don't know' when he means 'I can't be bothered to tell you'.'

My brother was (and still is) like this. He left primary school barely able to write, because it bored him. I used to envy him his ability to withstand angry teachers and do his own thing.

It is bloody frustrating though!

There is an article in the telegraph at the weekend about bright and gifted chidlren and how they often fail as adults due to segragation and the thinking that it would be far better to leave them in class with other not so bright and gifted chidlren. This has been a few decades study

It's not that unusual to read and comprehend chapter books at 6yo.

yep, 'I don't know' does mean 'I can't be bothered to tell you'.

However, he is learning his timestables as we show him situations where they come in handy. Once he sees that he wants to learn them and does so pretty quickly. We didn't feel it was of any urgency aged 5, but as he has now turned 6 and it is expected of him, we show him why they are good and therefore motivate him. Just wish school could do that. They won't because it will scare the other children, they say.

I bet it is, Cold!

What will scare the other children?

Why would it scare the other children?

I don't understand why the teachers ay they won't tell children why the need tables for the future - scaring the others? How do you mean?

One of the things we do do in class a lot is explain to children why they need to learn certain number factors for the future.

Reading chapter books at 6y is very able, but definitely in no way unusual. DD was reading chapter books from Y1 and I have know children in reception to be already reading and understanding chapter books.

'it will scare the other children' ?? What do you mean?

ivykaty44

don't think there is any approach that will work for everyone. I was put up a couple of years at school, they wanted to put me up further but it would have meant being in the same class as my brother and they felt that it wouldn't have been fair on him. However, acceleration means social problems. Special gifted classes means pressure.

I was lucky enough to be at a school for some of my education that let children work at their own pace. No teacher preaching stuff, just pick up you book and get on with it. If you get stuck, ask a friend. If still stuck put up your hand and the teacher will come round. It worked really well, and would work really well for DS1. However, that is not an option around here.

imwithstupid

the teacher's words, not mine. They seem to think that many children will be frightened of complex work and don't want to introduce it too early. The other half of the children seem to be forgotten about.

back later...

vroom, as I understand it, letting children work at their own pace is the ideal for all children. It's just horribly inefficient as a way to run schools, which is sad.

I do agree with what you're saying about worrying he'll be bored, it is a real issue. But on the other hand, I think there are positive things about not always learning as fast as you can, and not always being motivated to jump to the next level. It can be great, but no-one can keep it up for long.

Hey I am no expert - just letting you know I had seen the article - they had study 210 bright and gifted children so thought you may find their study relevant

I have two children middle of the road in lessons so no worries with either of them

How is learning tables complex if it's what's expected of them?

I'm not following here.

(See you later)