Teachers don't understand him...

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Sorry for the long message to follow, any advice welcome.

DS1, just turned six but in yr2, is exceptionally bright, gifted if you like. We know this by the amazing conversations we have with him, the conclusions he draws and things he has done early. Eg he was completely independent on the computer, starting it up, inputting password, double clicking to start the web browser and clicking on bookmarks to open up cbeebies aged 2 and 3 months. He was never taught, just caught him at it one morning at 4 am...

However, he only shows his ability in things he is interested in. When reading the NAGC comparision, gifted vs bright, he meets none of the bright criteria and pretty much all the gifted ones. I.e. he is a bit of a difficult child, wants to always make up new rules, always inventing things and lives in his own world.

Anywhere he goes where he has a lot of one on one attention, eg summer playscheme, the teachers/coaches/leaders always make a point of how bright he is. They seek me out to talk about the conversations they have had and how we must nurture his talents. They don't do this to anyone else. His violin teacher of two weeks, a mature lady who has clicked with him, hit the nail on the head when she said that she has never taught anyone like him before. With most children you teach them from 1 to 100, with DS1 you teach him 1, then 78, then 23 etc and hope that 2, 3 and 4 fit themselves in somewhere along the way. You can only teach him what he wants to learn.

School teachers don't understand this. I tried having a meeting with his teacher last week, but clearly didn't get the message across. His year 1 teacher admitted a huge problem in motivating him. What he needs is problem solving. Give him something interesting to solve and he will complete work for children way older. If you give him simple or uninspired work to do he switches off and says he does't know the answer. At school he gets away with it.

My concern is that he keeps switching off at school and is unmotivated and unhappy. He always says the only thing he likes about school is playtime.

Any advice? Anyone found themselves in a similar situation? I don't want to be the "pushy mum" which is how I fell like I come across to the teachers. I just want him stimulated at school and for them to understand that he is different.

So you hadn't taught him how to use the computer but he worked out the password?

ok...

just wanted to add that other children love playing with him. He is lots of fun to be with. We are working hard on his manners as he often ignores them. On the way to school lots of children of all ages say hello and want to walk with him but he is too busy being in his own world. We are working hard on this, just wanted to say that he is great fun to play with as he is so inventive and comes up with fun ideas.

It is, of course, quite possible that the teachers understand him, and you, very well

I think you need to encourage him to do the stuff (including the "gaps" in his work 2 knowledge - plenty of time for that as it's only the start of the school year).

If he doesn't know the basic stuff he's going to come to a grinding halt in a couple of years time...

I think a lot of two year olds can start up a computer and get themselves onto Cbeebies if they have watched someone else do it. Dd certainly could and managed the different passwords on different laptops which annoyed her older siblings no end. She's bright enough but not gifted I would say.
I think you need to work with his teacher and the school to help him fit in at school and encourage his interests and learning preferences at home tbh as one to one learning isn't going to happen in a mainstream class of thirty.

So he's doing ok at school, but not exeptionally well. I think you're pandering to him by not insisting he learns what he's supposed to learn at the moment. It's great he can solve some more advanced maths problems, but I really don't see why can't you sit down with him and make sure he learns Y2 maths as well? Don't treat him like he's a little genius that's allowed to diregard what all other kids have to learn in is year.

Maybe you shoudl consider a different kind of school, like Montessori. Look it up, it might be more your style.

You won't take his personality away and brainwash him into a stereotype. You will be helping your lovely, bright, clever young son to get the most out of school. It is not a terrible thing to fit in and do well. He may be happier that way.

Star I knew you'd say that my thoughts as well but didn't have the bottle

And FWIW DS is also 'in his little world' quite a lot of time etc etc and can come up with some very clever ideas etc but I really do not think that this is enough to brand the kid as gifted. He is also way ahead in reading-well, he can read as well as I can, and top of the class in maths etc. But he's just bright, not a genius.

I don't see how your DS is gifted, sorry- because unless he really is and needs different approach he shoudn't be made to feel he can dictate what he's being taught in school.

i thought this was a wind up and then realised I was in G & T
is he your only child?
what was he doing up at 4am, btw?

ok, so has anyone else had a "different" child??

I know what his abilities are, I myself was what is now "exceptionally gifted". Never did much work, always got top grades. Joined mensa and got put in top 0.1%. BUT, I was a straight forward logical thinker. Not as creative or inventive. I wanted to finish work as quickly as possible in the younger years. Then motivation left me, did only enough work to get the grades and have underachieved as an adult.

DS1 is ahead work wise compared to where I was at that age. But I stood out and everyone that met me knew it. DS1 only stands out when you are one on one with him. School will never be like that and I know that. Just want any advice on how to keep him happy and allow him to be himself.

And I never say anything negative about the school in front of him, nor have any meeting with him present. I have never used the word gifted with school as I don't want to be seen as pushy.

domeafavour

sometimes toddlers wake up at night...

If he ignores people and is very self-directed, is a difficult child and lives in his own world, he may well be on the autistic spectrum (like Isaac Newton etc). This is NOT a criticism. A teacher will not be able to create a totally different curriculum for every single child, but they should be able to adapt the curriculum for a child's needs. However, the gaps in his learning are not necessarily something that will just be fine as he gets further up the school. Without a solid foundation you are building on sand.

Can you please give us some examples of his unusually advanced thinking and abilities, please?

Also, I am not convinced that most children do learn from one to one hundred. That is not true of the children I know. Children who are bright and have parents who indulge their interests will tend to have a thorough understanding of 79 before even realising that 12 or 33 exists. Very normal IMO.

Don't fall in to the trap of thinking that your child is extraordinary and all the others are uniformly grey dull clones. It simply isn't true. All children are unique and have specific educational, social and emotional needs.

but he's not ahead work wise if he's not doing the work he needs where the gaps are

I'm not particularly bright, I am gifted with music though. However, I had lots of gaps in maths when I was YR2 age - sadly I never got those gaps filled and struggled hugely with maths as I got older. I could do some of the work from the years above at YR2 age - but anything that required that gaps to be filled I was at a loss with.

I have never managed to fill those gaps.

Op, When did he turn 6?

coldcomfort

the gaps aren't a problem as he will do the work this year at school. For example, didn't fell the need to memorise timestables when he was only 5. Now in year two it is part of the curriculum so he is learning them. But when he enjoys maths I don't want to hold him back because of small gaps that don't apply to the area of maths that is more advanced.

ASD???

memoo

turned 6 end of August. Is the youngest in his class. Top set in everything, although that doesn't say much.