Mid wife shrieking in horror at extent of open epistiotomy wound. All stitches undone, severe infection, any natural remedies anyone?

[Dhosonia]

1st time poster - Before starting i just want to say that i have tried to read every related post on the topic on mumsnet and elsehwere as i dont want to waste ppls time and effort but cant seem to find the answers that will help my wife anywhere. She is not posting herself as i am trying to burden the pain for her and think that the less she knows the better frame of mind she will be in and therefore cant get caught up in a cycle of negative pessamstic thinking. This was our first son - pessary/pitocin drip/epidural/epistiotomy/forceps. Was a wonderful pregancny but traumatic birth (28 hr labour) I feel very guilty and im blaiming myself for the mess wifes in now, as i was so wound up about the forceps scar after telling the registrar that we didnt want it (baby was in correct position, all stats ok for mother and baby) that i started having a go at her whilst the registrar was still stitching after birth saying that we didnt want forceps - look at his scar etc as she only let her push for 40 mins and cited maternal exhaustion as reason for forceps etc. so ive concluded she did a terrible job in stitching after i upset the registrar with my outburst. The room was also like a circus, 4 mw's 1 reg,1 nurse, 1 ped.

All her stitches have come undone and there is a horrible gaping open wound with pus and all sorts of gunk seeping out intertwined with whats left of her stiches. Birth on 27June back in hptal on 1st july. IV antibiotics - they cant restitch - offered possible repairin 4 - 6 mths. Whilst in hpital any mw's that checked reacted with horror when checking her wound. Back home today 6 july. Mw reacted with horror again at seeing it, cut is right from top of vagina to the rectum.

Its very severe and my wife is in huge amounts of pain. When showering to keep it clean should the water go inside the wound? or just softly outside. How long should she sit on the bidet - 1 min - 5 mins? Can i put manuka honey on it now or will it hurt to much/sting/cause bad reaction/make it worse. Does it go inside or just outside. The odour is going but its still full of white and black thimgs inside and is pinkish. Can i spray collodial silver on it? How long is healing time.

Thanks you for any replies we are totaly lost on this and seeing how much pain she is in is breaking my heart. Also have switched to combination feedimg as we dont want antibiotics getting through to son - is this a good idea?

I just wanted to add - I wonder about your wife having too many baths though, I didn't want to say because it's true, witch hazel and tea tree oil aid healing but after my 1st birth because of stitches I didn't have a bath for months (about 7, maybe I was being over particular but the whole thing had been a shock to me) just showered instead. I used the witch hazel on pads. I had read it is easy to pick up infections in the bath but my mw was saying have one daily. I stuck with what I read and healed really well.

I'm sorry my advice is the opposite of champagnemum's above, she is probably right as she has experienced more closely what your wife is going through, I had the reg ammount of stitches, but it had all been awful, I read about avoiding baths in an obscure wise woman's book. It's such a tough situation I don't want to confuse things. It was just a thought that was niggling at me to mention since my 1st post on this thread.

What an awful situation, poor you and your poor, poor wife.

Why don't you join the radical midwives yahoo group and post this on their board? I'm sure you'll get lots of very well-qualified advice. They are usually top notch on alt/ complimentary stuff as well as conventional meds. Just search for them in yahoo groups.

Best of luck to you all, and, despite the mess, congrats on the birth of yr baby!

Volterol (diclofenac) is a strong, very safe painkiller thsat your wife can take whilst breastfeeding. Ask for the 75mg tablets, as you take them 2X daily and it's far easier to remember when you're sleep-deprived.

Alternate it with Paracetamol (ie take paracetamol between Volterol doses)

Don't start formula feeding - you'll run down the milk supply and if your wife stops BFing then that's another thing she will feel devastated about. It's really, really impt that you do everything possible to keep her BFing. There's anecdotal evidence that BFing mums don't heal as quickly, but try and keep her going - after such an awful experience she will empowered if BFing continues.

Sex. There's a good chance she's not going to feel up for it for up to year. Promise me you'll not hassle her.

Thx so much to all of you she is not taking baths just showers, sits in bidet for max of 90 after peeing in shower first, she is bf full time, just wanted to say thx again to evryone for taking the time out of their schedules to post their stories it means so much to us, a problem shared is a problem halved and knowing that ppl come out the other side and have more children etc is poigniant and reassuring to hear think we have finally got a handle on how she is going to heal/what to expect etc so are over the worse, will also look in on radical midwives msg board!

i was told by mid wife have salt baths.did heal quickly.not too much salt just a spinke and a shallow bath.depends wot works for each indivial.

Dhosonia.....normally it is not recommended to use antiseptics on wounds as the cetrimide in some can cause its own irritations. Normal saline is always a good choice. Do you know what the dressings are(the name) as i have never come across reusable ones.Is she on flucloxacillin for the infection or another antibiotic. If she feels unwell or has a raised temp at any time make an emergency appt with the doc.

Although i went on to have another baby after 4.5 years, being left alone in the delivery suite, unstitched for over an hour did nothing for my confidence..in fact the whole thing from start to finish frightened me to death. Also having a very prem baby,emergency forceps due to foetal distress ,pre eclampsia for 12 weeks(6 weeks before the birth and 6 weeks after)left its mental scars on me.

But i went on to have a second son

I hope your wife gets better soon and i hope it doesnt put her off a second one.

Thanks all and alypaly, sorry you went through such a tough time, slight baby blues are setting in with the wife i am being as nice as possible and gauging her mood at all times if she wants to shout at me, or cry etc i let her, i try and do everything for her - tea/food/cleaning etc as she still in so much pain - we think the painkillers (paracetamol and diclofenac) might be getting through to the baby as her antibiotics stopped today so she upped her intake of painkillers from 1 diclofenac to 2 paracetomal and one diclofenac - which might have got through to the baby as he is sleeping all the time, more than usual - he s 2 weeks today and is only feeding for 10 mins then falls asleep, after gentle coaxing awake a while later he might have a good 25 min feed, this is quite perturbing to us both esp her as she is already frustrated with the huge wound and inability to move out normally.

There is still a yellow discharge coming from her wound despite her running her full course of antibiotics - am taking her to the gp tmw or failing that straight back to casualty. The wound covering they have given has no antibacterial properties (micro border lite, failing all of the above i have made an appointement to see someone privately at bupa but the earliest one on a private fee paying basis is next week!

There was another thread running but i think its been deleted by some over zealous members who think im some sort of control freak power hungry crazed moron - if wanting the best for the people you love the most gets you that tag then thats what i am! Im calm and like a rock around her - asking questions online does not mean im going crazy and panicking- im just doing some research - im not implementing the ideas of the well meaning posters until i discuss it with a health professional - a lot of posters have said "does your wife know im posting these intimate details" - its a friggin online msg board which gives complete privacy and anonymity....if ppl cant discuss things like this on a forum designed to encourage talk of things that were once hidden then what is the point of the internet! When you deeply love someone and two become one you dont mind cleaning their poo and wee and puss etc when they cant do it themselves - its doesnt make the person less "sexy" or weak - it helps develop a much deeper love that transcends mere physical realities - have ppl forgeotten their vows - in sickness and in health - through the massive ups and downs of life. Anyway enough ranting, if anyone has anymore ideas - are anyone can explain what signs to look out for for reinefection or of 1 week of antibiotics is enough etc pls do post. I know the gp/consultant will answer most of these questions but just kicking idea around helps us (me and wife alot)as its just a means of support and understanding from you guys out there. Thanks again hope i havent offened anyone ..again!

Diclofenac suppositories were the only thing that took the edge off the pain when I had an infected episiotomy with oedema. I heartily recommend them.

Manage the pain, as someone else said. You would want to minimize the chance of your wife being traumatized by this birth and its aftermath. That trauma takes many years to get over

Paracetamol did absolutely nothing for me, btw, and I was popping them like candy. I doubt if it's doing much to your wife, who sounds like she is dealing with worse.

I don't know if you read this on the other thread, but tell your wife to forget about sanitary pads and underwear. Wrap a towel around the waste to catch blood. Change towel when it gets too dirty/bloody. Just let that area air.

Just finished watching the world cup - my first man thing in a while with the son (who slept through) whilst the wife had a 2 hour chat fest on the phone with her best friend who has moved to austrailia which has cheered her up, thanks cote, she already hardly using towels/underwear etc except when ppl come or she has to move about etc thanks

Towel around the waist, I meant, obviously

By the way, don't assume your wife has PND. Extreme and relentless pain over many days is in itself very depressing.

I didn't see the other thread but I'm sorry you had a bad time here, it's just another thing to add to an already rough and harrowing set of memories when in the future you look abck on this whole traumatic start to your family life.

I think with this talk thing people are often just brutely honest, it can wind up being work. Most everyone here is nice, it's probably the same ratio as in RL but any hassle is just not what your family needs right now and you shouldn't have to explain yourself.

I'm glad you both had a good day today

Dhosonia

I'm pleased to hear things are looking brighter and that you have managed to enjoy some bonding time with your son.

I was on your other thread and am particularly pleased your wife has had a 'girlie' chat - it was one of the things that helped me most after littlemad was born (I was in a different country from all my best female friends) and when I did get to talk to them it gave me a massive emotional lift.

It's a shame that you felt the advice you were given on the other thread was not helpful, it's direct here as other people have said and it's possible that some of the reaction was down to the rather dramatic nature of the initial post and where it was posted (I suspect if I'd seen that whilst trying to keep calm about an impending labour I would have freaked out too) - the message wasn't deleted by the way, it was moved from pregnancy to childbirth - check on 'threads I'm on' it's still there.

Good luck