Mid wife shrieking in horror at extent of open epistiotomy wound. All stitches undone, severe infection, any natural remedies anyone?

[Dhosonia]

1st time poster - Before starting i just want to say that i have tried to read every related post on the topic on mumsnet and elsehwere as i dont want to waste ppls time and effort but cant seem to find the answers that will help my wife anywhere. She is not posting herself as i am trying to burden the pain for her and think that the less she knows the better frame of mind she will be in and therefore cant get caught up in a cycle of negative pessamstic thinking. This was our first son - pessary/pitocin drip/epidural/epistiotomy/forceps. Was a wonderful pregancny but traumatic birth (28 hr labour) I feel very guilty and im blaiming myself for the mess wifes in now, as i was so wound up about the forceps scar after telling the registrar that we didnt want it (baby was in correct position, all stats ok for mother and baby) that i started having a go at her whilst the registrar was still stitching after birth saying that we didnt want forceps - look at his scar etc as she only let her push for 40 mins and cited maternal exhaustion as reason for forceps etc. so ive concluded she did a terrible job in stitching after i upset the registrar with my outburst. The room was also like a circus, 4 mw's 1 reg,1 nurse, 1 ped.

All her stitches have come undone and there is a horrible gaping open wound with pus and all sorts of gunk seeping out intertwined with whats left of her stiches. Birth on 27June back in hptal on 1st july. IV antibiotics - they cant restitch - offered possible repairin 4 - 6 mths. Whilst in hpital any mw's that checked reacted with horror when checking her wound. Back home today 6 july. Mw reacted with horror again at seeing it, cut is right from top of vagina to the rectum.

Its very severe and my wife is in huge amounts of pain. When showering to keep it clean should the water go inside the wound? or just softly outside. How long should she sit on the bidet - 1 min - 5 mins? Can i put manuka honey on it now or will it hurt to much/sting/cause bad reaction/make it worse. Does it go inside or just outside. The odour is going but its still full of white and black thimgs inside and is pinkish. Can i spray collodial silver on it? How long is healing time.

Thanks you for any replies we are totaly lost on this and seeing how much pain she is in is breaking my heart. Also have switched to combination feedimg as we dont want antibiotics getting through to son - is this a good idea?

I agree with stripey re the breastfeeding - I do think you're making that aspect of it over-complicated. Remember if you're pumping and dumping your baby's losing out on all the good in the breastmilk, which is on the other side of the equation. You say you're worried the antibiotics might be carcinogenic, can I ask where you've learned that from? There are a lot of sources of information about, not all of them accurate.

The other thing I was thinking is whether you might suggest to your wife she comes on Mumsnet herself? It's a wonderful source of support and she will be able to talk to people who have been in a similar position...

Whatever you do, though, please don't abandon conventional meds for homeopathy. Your wife's infection needs the big guns, it really does...

How did your wife feel about having forceps? You say that you were telling the Dr that you didn't want it, I'm assuming your wife wasn't saying the same at the time? A Dr wouldn't do a forceps if the woman was saying she didn't want it.

I've never heard of antibiotics being carceogenic. There is probably some study somewhere where scientists have pumped rats full of high doses of antibiotics for months on end and then they've developed a tumour. But I've never heard of a study on breastfed babies of antibiotic taking women to see if they're at higher risk.

I really hate this thread title - I'm very sorry about your wife but was it really necessary to be so graphic?

I just think the OP was worried and wanted to accurately describe what was happening LadyBiscuit.

The same thread is on the Pregnancy forum, by the way.

I appreciate that Humphrey but I'm a bit squeamish. I shall hide the thread

oh your poor wife - how's she doing today?
I agree that you need someone who is an expert in wound management.
Congratulations on your son, how is he?

Your wife should take the anti-biotics.

Pus is not something to treat lightly.

Hi Stripey - she did not want forceps either, as she was already induced and had lost the "natural labour" she wanted she at least wanted to push him out himself, when forceps were mentioned she tried in her pain to communicate to let her push while longer but registrat just went in with forceps - sorry if thread is vivid, but nothings been exagarated - cmwife holding her mmouth over her hand and shakng her head in wifes presence was not good - another mw in hospital saying that she would have a look as there was a girl in the previous week with something similar so can tell us how bad it is in comparison then after looking just staying schtum not mentioning anything and disapearing into the blue yonder was also not a positive expereinece for wife. She is not off anti biotics think ppl are getting mixed up about this, the course lasts 7 days, after that its up to her body, just want to try and ensure it doesnt get reinfected as its such a huge gaping wound thats gonna take - going on advice - at least 6 weeks to start to close and 3 months to heal properly, but thx to everyone in taking time to reply esp tortoise

when i had wounds from surgery (so on abdomen) i did the hairdryer thing after having sprayed with savlon wound wash. it's very gentle and dries nicely, might be something to consider.

i'm so sorry that your wife and you are going through this, congratulations on your new baby.

Can I just add that if your wife is having any problems with constipation then I found those weird glycerine suppositories a lifesaver after I had mega-stitchers/third degree tear. I was so scared to go to the loo or to push at all but I knew I needed to so my DH ran to Boots to ask and they gave me the suppusitories which mean you can do a poo with no need for any pushing - really sorry if that TMI but I remember well this was something I was very stressed about so maybe it will help.
Really hope things are getting better for you and your wife.

These stories are making me so sad for what you all went through ladies... but I wanted to say thanks, too, because maybe you're taking the fear and shame away that the OP's wife (or other lurkers) might be feeling, and letting her know that others have been there, and have come out the other side. So well done you all for being so brave in posting your stories.

sorry your wife is in so much pain. I found using a mild salt solution every 2 hours on the bidet helped with mine. I had over 30 stitches internally and externally. Salt is a natural antiseptic....ask doc for some sachets of saline that are sterile initially and then go on to a stronger solution. Ask for advice about the saline washes though.

Dhosonia,
just wanted to say hang in there, it's terrible, awful what you are all going through, I got a lump in my throat just reading your post and really feel for you all. It's tough enough becoming a parent but after an experience like that .

Please don't blame yourself, you need to be gentle on yourself and each other right now to get through this, my 1st birth too was like a circus, it's hard to think straight in such a situation.You wind up feeling all control has been taken away. The next few months are going to be tough, but slowly each day will bring you all away from it.

I'm sorry I cannot help with any medical advice. All I can think of it that it would help if your wife continued breastfeeding and aimed at doing it longterm (if she feels up to it) because it tones that area and will help it strengthen, I would imagine this would be good, especially for after the planned surgery in 4 or so mths.

A tough birth is traumatic on the entire family, we've been through it and the whole following year or so was hard going, it took a second birth to heal a lot of mental wounds from the ordeal for both myself and dh.

You'll get through it though, best wishes and congratulations on your new baby boy.

I had a large epesiotomy which was very painful. I ended up on paracetamol, diclofenac and tramadol which is a strong pain killer.
Maybe she could add some more analgesia on top of the paracetamol. I was BF as well.
I used the femme pads which were soothing and just laid down as much as possible.
Get as much support from the HV as you can and look after your wife as I am sure you are. She will be shattered!

alypaly seashore and topsy thanks - good to know you had another child and finally can put some of the pain regarding the first birth behind you, what are femme pads? are they not ordinary maternity pads? and will ask gp/nurse todayabout savloon wound wash or saline solutions etc thx

femme pads are thr things you can put in the fridge they help reduce swelling etc a bag of frozen peas in a tea towel will work as well though!

Thanks again for bfeeding advice and clarification on pads, duly noted,more patheticness from the distrtict nurse today who yesterday the mw said was a wound specialist - she was nice and well meaning and when we asked about other stuff (lavender tree tea) she said ask the mw! whereas the mw told us to ask the nurse! she didnt know what to do with the wound, she rang another nurse who said to put some antibacterial dressing on it - not sure she has applied it properly - it has gone into the wound if you catch my meaning, its over it and folded on one side (imagine a lip/labia being plastered into the inside of the vagina) - whereas the hpital mentioned (that screwed it all up in forst place) to leave it as it is so all the infection can come out. Its a removable dressing which can be reused - i can see plus points - protects from wee and poo etc but how is the skin going to join together if there is a bit of dressing folded onto the very outer edge of the wound?

She is in pain from the dressing, we live in a village so im guessing that they wont have much experience with this hence nurse not knowing what to do. Any advice?

Goodness you poor things! It must be very frustrating to betold different things.

I had terrible cellulitis on my foot (not to be confused with cellulite, which I also have!) and was told lots of different things, keep it undressed, dress it etc etc
It was an open wound for 5 weeks. In desperation I went to see a Tissue Vialibity Nurse (a doctor friend told me about them)
I literally googled it and found 2 nurses working at a GP's surgery and begged my way in. They were the experts on different dressings for different wounds.

I don't know if they deal with this sort of thing but I was healed 2 weeks after a visit to them (and 3 weeks before my wedding which was a relief!)

Could you ask to see the superviser of midwives or head consultant and get a definitive answer on the care programme for your wife?

Best of luck, you sound lovely!

Dhosonia, haven't very much to add, but just wanted to say how sorry I am that your wife is having to deal with all this.

I think you need to speak to someone, (maybe at the hospital)and insist your wife gets some specialist care immediately. What you have received so far is completely inadequate and confusing. Your wife needs a definitive care programme for wound management, and some decent pain relief. (Actually if it was me, and I got nowhere with it, I'd go to A and E and stay there until someone sorted something out for me.)

I feel angry on your behalf, because you seem to have been abandoned by the care professionals.

Congratulations on your little boy, and I hope things get resolved as soon as possible for your wife.

I don't know if ice or femme pads that have been chilled are a good idea on opened stitches.
I did try ice on my burst stitches and it really made it much WORSE, as when the ice was on there was relief from the pain but afterwards the pain was 10 times worse (crying with agony type of pain)
I was also advised not to wash too much as this hinders the healing process (this was wound mamgement) A bath once a day with tea tree oil, leave it alone as much as possible to let the body do it's job of healing.

District nurses should be experts on wound care it is their bread and butter so to speak.

Had similar experience but also shoulder dystocia so I was really badly bruised as well as torn. I completely feel your wife's pain. My midwife said she had never seen anything as bad in all her working life and she was in her 50's! It took me a long time to recover but the only thing that really helped was 2 or 3 baths a day to ease things down there. I also second what other people have said about pain killers please tell your wife to keep on top of them. My DH used to have my whole days medication lined up on the worktop and he said he could definitely tell when I was due my next top up!
Sorry if tmi but I used to lie naked from the waist down with a towel underneath me for as long as I could as the constant wearing of sanitary pads was just too much. I would also like to add that this happened to me during the birth of my first child so I had no previous experience and didn't know what was normal so thought what happened to me was all part of the birth process. It wasn't until i was pregnant with my second child that I realised it wasn't normal and I had been through a truely traumatic experience. I had an appointment with a consultant who read through my previous birth notes and was horrified at what had happenend. She told me why the doctors had done what they did and tbh I could remember them doing things to me but at least I knew why they did it.
Whilst it won't help at the moment please tell your wife that she WILL recover, she WILL have sex again and she WILL feel like a woman. It may not be in the next few weeks but it will happen