So I've decided to give up the booze...

[LucyJones]

And so far my skin has broken out, I feel knackered all the time and grumpy

it's only been since Friday so this is the third day

tell me I'll feel healthily etc etc < eyes up corkscrew>

Loopylou this is one of my issues too.I have just gone and bought some piriton to see if this will knock me out for two or three days.Try a couple of cups of chamomile tea this helps I find

Good idea DAS will try the piriton

Glad to catch up with you all as not had chance to over the weekend (no not drunk just busy!!).

Well I decided last week that I would not drink at home during the week starting Monday. Today is obviously Monday. If I had not given myself those few days to get my head around stopping drinking I would have failed, felt miserable and the whole sorry saga would have started again.

It is now mid-afternoon and I would have normally been to the shops by now for my wine for the week - I have not been to the shops!!

Am feeling really positive about this now - I am not going to drink at home during the week and this time I feel I might just do it! And I will have Friday night to look forward to....

Wish me luck x

Good Luck CHABLIS I am so going to try this as well, just taking each day at a time.I just don't seem to have much resolve

I don't think going tetotal is the answer for everyone - isn't more about getting control back?

Drink because you want to, not because it's just what you always do, and be able to stop after a glass, not the whole bottle!!

I wish I'd been able to control myself, and limit my drinking, I failed at that so giving up completely is the right thing for me, but not for everyone! Limiting to just drinking at the weekend shows you are in control of the situation.

Chablis - I'm trying to do that as well. Good luck! Sally - you're right. I don't want to be teetotal, I just want to stop drinking because it's there or because DH is having a glass.

I agree with the previous comments by Sally, Chablis & Just13 - it's not about being teetotal, but the ability to break the habit and have some choice about when to have a glass. I want to be able to have a sociable drink without drinking the whole bottle or making an arse of myself.

[slurps on mug of horlicks!!]

so far so good, not a drop of wine went past my lips last might.I took a piriton and did not have a problem going to sleep, did not make me groggy either,I hope I can keep this up.Hope everyones evening went well,good luck for tonight.Enjoy your herbal teas, hot chocolater whatever

well done darkandstormy

Well done darkandstormy. Have to confess I did have 2 of DP's bottles of Bud last night. DC's drove me absolutely mental and I lost it at around 9.30.

But it was only 2 bottles of beer and I felt very proud of myself!

Have a feeling there may be a few wines tonight though. We'll see. If I do will only be a few.

It's easy not to drink tonight because I've got a headache - not sure if it's menstral or the heat
usually I'd throw painkillers at it so it was gone by wine o'clock but now I'm just using it as an excuse to go to bed early
good luck Chablis !

Thanks Lucy. Remember you're my inspiration!!

Just13, gaffa and darkandstormy how are we doing this evening??

Well had one glass of wine and just cooking dinner. Again I have failed not drinking during the week but am feeling in control of the amount that I have.

Something dawned on me tonight when I put DD to bed (4) and she was talking away. When I finish the bottle and head for bed I do not give myself time to process the days events (like I did last night). Might sound strange but was nice to be thinking about things in a sleepy way rather than just passing out !

I am going to a hen night in a couple of weeks and have really tried to cut back (only had a couple of drinks since 22 May). I am well known for my drinking and am sure I will feel under pressure to drink heavily. My friend has paid for my flights so not going is out of the question... Any tips...?

I would alternate alcholic drinks with soft drinks and don't feel pressurized

Chablis, I think control is the key to most of us on here cutting down, is it not?? ie a couple of glasses of wine or a couple of buds is better than a whole bottle of wine? I find it easier to have nothing than to stop at one to be honest.

Good idea Lucy - I'll try that! I suppose I have turned such a cornner with my drinking, it could be easier than I anticipate... I just don't want to let myself down. And end up asleep by dinner time!

also don't feel really bad if you drink more than you think you should
just start again when you get back!

I agree lilo. A couple of glasses, rather than a full bottle.

itstimmytime - love the name by the way - just carry on as you are doing, confidently, and nobody should question the amount you are drinking.

I went to my drama group last night, usually when I get home I have a big goblet of vinoLast night I managed to refrain yeah
CHABLIS don't beat yourself up over a few buds,afterall it is summer and for a change the sun was shiningnot as if you have had sherry on your weetabixThe quest is to cut down which we have all been doing,we are not going to beat ourselves up.
ITSMYTIME Have an imaginary bug that you are on antibiotics for.Then have 1 or 2 but tell everyoune you have to take it easy.
LUCY well done on your good work
GOOD LUCK to all in our quest for a more sober midweek

I am so glad that this is a Cutting Down thread! I drank a big bottle of beer over 2 nights, so it was just over 1/2 pint on each night. Last night dh and I shared a bottle of wine. I have an excellent track record of drinking far FAR too much far too often. I am very pleased that I don't drink at lunchtime when we have lunch with my parents. My father looks at me strangely when I have something soft. The whole place is awash with alcohol, but I am pleased that I have something to do in the afternoon and a small drink may put the boot in. If it's just a small drink.

I would like to be in a position when I drink too much less and less often.

SILENT Welcome to the cutting down gang
myregular drinking was getting ott.Not addicted or anything but a habit that escalated slightly of late, once the dc have gone to bed the goblet was filled and then some more.I have gained weight and felt crap.
I think in my case, mad as it may seem I have been in denial that I quaff to much wine time to take action.
half a pint of beer each night is fantastic that is an enjoyable tipple, as is sharing a bottle of wine.I think also you appreciate it more in moderation, good luck with the rest of the week.btw

I posted early on and then disappeared, because as soon as my stomach bug resolved I felt that I 'deserved' a glass of wine, having gone without for five days.

So, there's that.

And now, I'm spending far too much time and mental energy thinking about this issue, do I drink too much, am I - you know, the A word - should I stop, etc etc etc.

It's like dieting, for me. As soon as I tell myself that I'm going to watch it, alcohol becomes this forbidden substance, and I start thinking of ways to have a drink without anyone knowing; when the reality is that nobody has ever implied that my drinking is a problem, it's all me. And when I relax about it - like food - I seem to self-regulate and it's not a big deal.

So the more of these threads I read, the more of a problem it becomes. These last few months have been the worst ever, and the first time that I've really thought - you know, this is above and beyond, now. Not that it's ever 'got me in trouble' in the sense that most people talk about it; it's been a long time, years and years, since being drunk has caused me to embarrass myself hugely, or call in sick, or compromise my safety, or anything. It's consequence-free, as far as I know; no-one's ever hinted to me otherwise.

But. I'm the person at Friday night drinks at work who's first to refill her glass. I'll sometimes pour myself a vodka and cranberry at home and tell my husband it's just a cranberry juice because I think he'll think it odd otherwise. I buy cask wine (box wine? I don't know what you call it over there) which comes in quite nice varieties over here in Australia, on the grounds that "then we can have just one glass with dinner/I can cook with it/we can leave it for a few days and not worry about the bottle going off" and really it's so I can have a few glasses without anyone noticing.

And yet, I come back to this: if I don't have a problem with drinking, it would be a shame to give it up forever - what a loss, to never taste the 2002 Shirazes I've been carefully cellaring, or savour a cold Sauv Blanc on a hot summer's night, or invent cocktails with my husband on a giggly Saturday night. But then again, isn't that the way problem drinkers think?

It's like that old cliche; if you don't think you're mad, you probably are. If I think I don't have a problem, I probably do. Perhaps.

YOu sound as though YOU notice though, Tortoise. I have certainly teetered near the edge, and clawed myself back. With a hangover, it can feel near that awful edge again.

I have found it really helpful when I'm with my parents to think of things I have to do SOBER when I've seen them. I don't need alcohol to make a fool of myself, to make rude jokes, or to have fun.

Can you try to drink in company? Try to make your drink last as long as the next person? Try very hard not to hide what you are doing, as it will fast become a stick for you to beat yourself and you will become increasingly secretive and devious.

I have found it easier to be honest with dh, and say if I have drunk a bottle of wine to myself.

Alcohol is a fantastic drug, except that it has very nasty side-effects, like a charming lover who beats you black and blue when no-one's watching. Alcohol is more fun when you can treat it like a friend who's fun to be with, but not such fun to live with.

I think it helps to remember very embarrassing moments caused by drinking too much.
A few years ago DH and I met up with his DD and her DH in a wine bar. I always feel slightly anxious around this pair, for reasons too complicated to go into here.
This was lunchtime, but I hadn't eaten and before I knew it I had sunk three large glasses of wine. Step D and her H drink like fishes, so I was keeping up.
When it was time to go I stood up and then my legs gave way and down I went in the crowded wine bar, flat on the floor.
We went outside and within a few minutes it happened again. Fell over, in the street.
Strangely, I felt fine all through. Not drunk at all.
This must count as my most embarrassing moment ever and I am deeply ashamed. Needless to, my step D was able to dine out on this incident for ever.

" I start thinking of ways to have a drink without anyone knowing;"

You do have to be very, very careful when secrecy and self-deceit enter the equation. Heavy drinking is bad enough but if you're prepared to fool yourself and others in order to keep doing it then 'dependency' is a real possibility

I'd suggest, rather than making attempts to give up or cut down therefore, that you keep an honest drinks diary. The action of being more conscious of what you drink can be enough to make you drink less. And by writing it down you can't fool yourself so easily about quantities or frequency. Once you've done that you might find that the right way forward presents itself.