**TAMOXIFEN** 4th thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go !

Hi all,

Sorry I shouldn't have dropped that line in about my sister especially as I should have thought about some of you possibly having relations who have asthma. To explain a little, my sister died very suddenly about 6 months after developing asthma in her 40s. She hadn't had time to learn to manage it IMO and as my father had had it all his life, I don't hink any of us really took it all that seriously - including my dear sister. It was truly awful at the time of course, but it is a quite a long time ago now - it was in 1992.

Pennies - good to hear you are doing well.

I am making a parsnip and maple syrup cake at the moment.ecipe made a huge amount which wouldn't fit in 2 sandwich tins so have added third!

Great story about yr DH KK - he sounds like mine!

I have just bought a table at a discontinued shop - it had clear warnings all over it about not being returnable and I thought it was OK. My DS took the drawer out and now it won't go back in as its not attached to the runners

Had reflexology today as its one of my treats in my good week.

SR - no worries posting that about your sister IMHO: all human life is on this thread, that's for sure! I think it would be a shame if we all got too cautious about what we write.

Cake sounds yummy! Table purchase sounds like one of my spur of the moment 'bargains'! Hope it didn't cost too much!

re reflexology. I love it and always mean to find the time. Maybe I will this week - I have finished my project earlier than anticipated!

perfectly fine to mention your sister SR -as Cakes says -she is an important part of your life after all.

Yes Smee - it is very typical of him - he is very absent minded. I mock him mercilessly! However he kept his tie on to go into work (normally wears polo shirts) and all the women said how nice he looked - so he's feeling rather pleased with himself.

As others have said, please don't feel you have to censor what you say SR
The parsnip cake sounds excellent.

Very pleased to hear the taxol is going well Pennies - that must be a relief after the problems with epirub. How many do you have left now?

My dentist is very excited because I agreed to a crown. So I have to go back next week

aww,bless your dh KK
great news about the taxol Pennies

What great posts today. Welcome back RWU - hope you are feeling a bit brighter now while lounging in your new bedroom!
MAS and Cakes are impressive with their fundraising efforts - I am feeling that I ought to be doing something too although definitely not Race for Life as I am too unfit .
KK - your poor DH. A whole nights sleep wasted and now you cqan tease im for ages on this!!
I am a bt excited - not only am I getting a full nights sleep now but this is my last week of treatment - HURRAY. I saw the surgeon today and he doesn't need to see me again for 6 months. I also had the first of my 4 booster radiotherapy sessions today - one more on each of Tues, Wed and Thurs to go. I have been going back and fore to the hospital now since last June so I can't believe that I only have 3 more days to go. Have suggested to DH that he take the afternoon off and take me out for lunch on Thursday .
Kitten update- there is nothing in the house that hasn't been investigated by now. especially fond of the washing machine. All treasures (clothes pegs, toys , torn tissues etc have to be carried back to his bed - needs emptying every morning. Lots of hard work but he has brought more smiles and laughs to our household than there has been in a long time.

Crown sounds expensive KK, htat's several pairs of shoes put on the back burner....

How is your dad doing KK, meant to ask last week?

Excellent news about the treatment haggis: lunch sounds a fab idea. Still very jealous of your kitten, he sounds divine. We have two very arsey rabbits. One has developed suspicious looking lumps on her abdomen. She is only 1. Vets tomorrow - dd strangely excited - she thinks that may be it is the same as I had and the rabbit will lose all her hair

Haggis - how fantastic to be ending your treatment! I am but hope I will reach that same point in September if all goes well.

O dear Cakes, poor DD thinking rabbit might lose its fur like you - that's very sad and touching.

The parnsip cake tastes great - very good food for fuelling all this politics-watching!!

You'll be relieved to know that I confessed about the new tabl;e, and my DH was able to fix it so now its in DS's room and looks very nice. I have recalimed my nice old oak stool that stood in as a bedside table for him till now - just don't get round to doing these things usually. This is one of the silver linings to having this disease - more time to sort out a few domestics. Did I mention that my friend who is staying (she who painted the back of our garden fence last time) cleared out and brushed the shed for us this time? Another definite bit of silver lining - she woldn't even let me in, as being a chemo nurse she thought the risk of my inhaling something horrible in the shed was too high

Blimey that's the kind of friend to have!

Good news on the table front. How nice to have a practical dh ("are you listening Mr Cakes?", she says pointedly)

hooray for end of treatment nearing haggis -yay ! and the kitten sounds so adorable !
Hope rabbit will be ok Cakes and at your thoughtful friend SR
Am madly trying to do lots at once today and panicking -so best get on -love to all

Well done for getting through your treatment Haggis - you must be so relieved to put it behind you And kitten sounds adorable, I think pets are great therapy all round!

Sorry your rabbit is poorly Cakes (and bless your little DD, I expect it is part of her way of processing everything that happened to you).

Thanks for asking about Dad, he is reasonably well recovered from all the hospital business.(scabies eventually cleared after a lot of treatment) And is back to going to a day centre 2x a week. Mum also has a care worker in twice a day to wash him and get him dressed/ready for bed. But I think in reality his alzheimers is getting rapidly worse - of course we knew that would happen, but not easy to deal with all the same

SR your friend sounds wonderful - send her round to mine when you've finished with her. I'm glad you got the table was sorted. I have pinched a little chest of drawers that DS bought for a set, so I have a bit more storage now.

I'm catching up on housework today, so if you see me around tell me to get back to work I'm going to a sort of open evening for the BC charities tonight (at the assembly rooms if any one knows Norwich), thought there might be some activities or something for me to sign up for.

Haggis, that's fantastic. Must feel a bit weird too though am guessing. Lunch is the very least you deserve.

Cakes the rabbit sounds alarming. Will your DD be upset if it's not good news? Might just be cysts - am not a rabbit expert, but I know they get those.

Pennies that's great the taxol's tolerable. You were having such an awful time, it's great things are looking up. Long may it continue.

Kurri, glad to hear your father's a bit better, but sad the Alzheimers is getting worse. I hope you don't mind me asking, but my mother has early stage Alzheimers and so far I've not told her about my diagnosis. Breast Cancer's her biggest fear, as her best friend died from it twenty years ago. Now as we all know, things have improved massively since then. Also her friends cancer was far more invasive than mine, but still I'm worried the shock may trigger a decline. So have you found that with your father's Alzheimers is made worse by shock? Sounds to me like you're further ahead in terms of knowledge of the disease than me, so any wisdom would be really helpful

Smee - I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I'm not sure I can give a comprehensive answer about the effects of shock. My dad does tend to get very anxious about everything, and in his early stages, I think he would have been very worried about me. (his anxiety is very much to do with his illness, - was not typical of him before). He certainly doesn't cope well with anything outside of his routine, and tends to panic a bit.

Gosh it is hard to offer any advice - you will know how worried your mum will be, and how intact her memory still is. We have never told my dad, - he wouldn't remember what he was told anyway. In fact we have never told him (rightly or wrongly )that he has alzheimers. By the time I was diagnosed his illness was fairly advanced. He did ask why I didn't have any hair, and mum said I hadn't been well but was getting treatment. (he said its a good job she's got that tall chap to look after her(my DH) ) In some ways it was easier, because I don't live very near, so I don't see them all that often.

If you see her often, do you think your mum will realise something is wrong, and worry that you are keeping something from her?

Sorry - I don't know if these ramblings have been of very much help. Its about eight years since my dad was at the early stages, so its a bit hard for me to judge [sorry] Perhaps its just a question of playing it by ear for a while?

Glad you dad is a bit better KK, but there's not really any let-up with Alzheimers is there? Smee, I have no advice on this - sorry.

DH's uncle is pretty bad with it at the moment, and he has got into the habit of flicking his false teeth into, and out of, his mouth. Quite revolting, and his wife gets absoultely incandescent with rage. Last time I saw him do it, she threatened to take them off him and throw them in the canal but also very

Smee - yes, I think dd will be beside herself if the rabbit news is bad, which i suspect it may be. I did not know they are prone to cysts, so thanks for that, it aounds more hopeful. I know they are also prone to unterine cancer, but i would have thought she was a bit young (but then, you never can tell with bloody cancer). We shall find out tomorrow (dd not coming, far too stressful to take her as well). Am taking both rabbits, it would be as well to get them both checked. But as they both bite, it is not going to be fun. I am pretty immune to it now, but it's hard to see them biting other people without feeling like you are a delinquent pet owner

fingers crossed for good bunny outcome Cakes
So sorry to her about KK's dad's worsening Alzheimers and that your mum has it too smee. We have a family friend- known since I was five who has dementia (and I'm never sure how much these two are similar) It has progressed rapidly in recent years and she is in a carehome -she has gone from a hugely intelligent,sparky person into a shell of a person, just existing.

Thanks, MAS

I think dementia and Alzheimers are part of the same group of conditions - all of them absolutely cruel and horrible.

Smee - my mum did not have Alzheimers but did have a type of dementia (progressive) for about 8-10 years. One of the issues for her (and us) was that she did not retain information so if a sad thing was mentioned, it was as though she was hearing it for the very first time. Due to this, dealing with my sister's death was agony because she simply could not process it at all - each time it was mentioned it was her hearing the dreadful news for the first time. and she could not get past the first awful grief.

I say this just to indicate that it can cause terrible difficulties to share bad news with people with any form of dementia and depending on how advanced your mum's condition is, it might be better not to share it. But only you and your family can judge this of course. Maybe you could share it on the basis of a good prognosis ie its dealt weith?? But otherwise you risk the possibility of having to go over and over the same ground which can be distressing for everyone.

Sorry this is a sad post - it was very difficult at the time but is a long time ago now, as you know. Dementia is a dreadful condition to deal with, for the family.

Good luck with the rabbits Cakes. Fingers crossed.

I will grapple with the registration process of my Fitbug tomorrow as the pack has arrived but I've been too busy today. Had a nice long walk - my friend has left now so can't clean out the garage for me unfortunately

Thanks to all for advice- I've been anxting over what to do ever since I was diagnosed and mostly haven't a clue what to do, so Kurri really don't worry, as I don't think there is a definitive answer to be had.

So hard when you turn from being the child to the parent isn't it? Seems like lots of us are going through that one. I've really noticed it over the past few years. Mum and Dad turn to me for everything, and seem to see me as their rock, so I'm guessing me having cancer will be a massive blow for both of them.

Sandripples, you're right about sufferers going over and over the same shock. That's what I'm worried about in lots of ways. Trouble is Mum's quite lucid still, which is great, but also means I doubt I can keep it from her. If it wasn't for the hair loss I definitely would. Not sure how to avoid it with that though, unless anyone tells me wigs are completely fab and you can get away with it through that. Even then I'm not sure my 5yr old DS could keep mum being bald from his lovely Grandma.

Your idea of telling them of a good prognosis is more more or less our current plan. So it was a lumpectomy rather than mastectomy and very very early stages. Also that I chose to have chemo rather than had to, etc, etc. Not sure if that will work but it might go some way. So hard all of this isn't it? I've e-mailed the Alzheimers Society to see if they have any advice. Might ask my Breast Cancer nurse too.

Thanks to all for lovely thoughtful posts though. All very helpful.

sorry to butt in with trivial talk,but have buggering broken a bit of tooth -damn !! doesn't hurt and is possibly ok to be patched up (I hope) - I just can't afford to fork out right now. I wonder if I can leave it until my next check up in July ? Also got to have eye test and contact lens check and really hope I don't need new lenses (for contacts or specs) grrrrr.
Do you think I need tell the dentist & optician about tamoxifen/anti depressants ?

Oh what a pain MAS , if its not hurting it might be OK until July (could you ring them and ask?) I've always told my dentist and optician about all my medication. My optician always gets you to fill in a med. form every time you go, at the dentist I requested a form so they could update their records.

thanks KK - will see what's what -so much going on my head is spinning !

I also tell my dentist about any meds and treatment - she;s great - last time she even offered to drive me to any appointments if I needed help! I think she was feeling sorry for me as she'd asked me so many questions about BC (just to be nice) that I was in tears!

You could prob have a temp. filling on? Like a bit of white tac?

I do sympathise as I've had an awful lot of teeth problems in my time and am slightly worried about a crown I have as it feels a bit odd today. Really would not want dental treatment during chemo so hoping for the best.

KK and Smee - so sorry to hear that your respective parents are struggling with Alzheimers/dementia. It must make it doubly hard for you to try and protect them when you are not well yourself. I appreciate that I have been incredibly lucky to have the practical and emotional support of both my parents and my in-laws. SR - your post about your mum and your sister's death was so sad. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you all.

MAS - how is the tooth?
Cakes - hope the rabbit is ok. It's lovely having pets around children but if anything happens to the pet it is so difficult to exxplain to the kids.

At the risk of boring you all stupid with kitten stories please can I just do one more? Had to take him to vet today for jabs. He screamed (and I mean really screamed) from the minute I put him into the cage and then when the car started moving he unleashed his special weapon - pungent farts. Had to drive all the way with radio up and windows down. Got to vets and had to leave waiting room after 2 mins because of his farting. Even the black lab was gagging. Had to stand outside (upwind) near a bus stop - the people waiting must have thought I was torturing him given the screams coming from the basket. Eventually got to see vet but he wasn't too keen so he - you're getting the picture - farted again. How can somethind so small make such a noise and such a smell (vets words not mine!). On the way home he was good as gold! DH can take him next time . He's sleeping like an angel now - no doubt dreaming up tomorrow's agenda of chaos and mayhem.

that is sooo funny haggis what can you be feeding him on, or perhaps he just hjad a nervous tummy !
Thanks for asking about the tooth - it feels ok-it's quite a heavily filled tooth,the other side of which he has patched up with sticky -I think it's one he intends to fix a semi-crown on at some point - he doesn't do unneccessary stuff for which I'm grateful. Makes me a bit nervous in case it falls apart completely so I will pop in and have him take a look.