**TAMOXIFEN** 4th thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go !

Hope enough turn up, MAS. What book did you choose? Those pies do look mmm...

Woke up feeling a bit more energised so walked to school then we went to library to change our books (via a nice cafe for a treat!). Still feel v.achey and tired. I know we've said it before, but every little ache makes me worry cancer's spread. I've had an intermittent pain under my right side lower ribs for a couple of years now, which has always worried me. Talked to the Onc about it again on Monday and she reminding me I had full bone and CT scans which showed nothing and that as it's intermittent she's not concerned. Still find myself worrying in the wee small hours though. Not sure how often I'll get checked if I ever get through all of the treatment. Still feels a very long way ahead.

Pies look fab.
What was the book? As you have flowers, wine and crisps, all need not be lost, a great time can still be had Shame if you have pysched yourself up for it, though.

Smee - try not to worry over every little ache and pain, it is hard, I know, but if my experience is anything to go by, you'll have quite a few aches and pains at the end of it all, and you can drive yourself mad with worry.

I am feeling very smug - have spent an hour getting dd to do her thank you notes for birthday presents. I typed them up for her and got her to put in the Dear (name) bit and also do the sign off, then write a little line special to each at the bottom if she felt like it. It has been the most hassle-free time yet.

by the way, her birthday party was fab - she invited her teacher, who TURNED UP! With a present! DD was made up, and so was I: it would have been so easy for her not to bother at all, let alone bring a gift as well. Teacher also tells me she was in tears writing dd's report, because she'll miss her so much next year. Not half as much as we'll miss her, I bet we don't get another like that.

Wow Cakes, that teacher sounds fab! How lovely.

MAS - hope book group has gone Ok albeit with small numbers.

Am in a panic (not health) - will explain tomorrow when more calm and rational.

what a fab teacher - how lovely -dd must've been so thrilled
Book group was nice - just 2 groupees and me (and a third a bit later, bringing next books) - we had been reading David Lodge's Deaf Sentence -very good and recommended ! Lots of crisps and Galaxy Counters left, so am not complaining -and 2 bottles of wine !! One friend brought me a sweet bunch of flowers from her garden.
Hope all is ok SR

Am mighty impressed by DD's teacher Cakes. How lovely of her. We've been lucky this year too. DS's teacher is huge - in fact he looks like a bouncer! Very gentle giant though and everyone adores him. A bit nervous as we haven't heard who they'll get next year yet. Makes such a difference, doesn't it.

Haven't read that book MAS. Have read 'Small World' and 'Nice Work' but that's about it of his. Should I go get then?? I'm reading Nicole Krauss 'The History of Love' and am totally engrossed. I was put off by the title, so it's sat on my shelf for an age (was a present), but it's brilliant.

Am filing the aches and pains under 'don't be so daft' then. I know you're right SR, so hard not to worry though.

Sorry, that should have read 'I know you're right cakes'. Told you I was a bit addled.

smee,is that you ?
Yes, I'd recommend Deaf Sentence - bit slow to get into as it really goes into the minutiae of deafness/hearing aids but think this is all neccessary- there are bits which made me just laugh out loud which is unusual !!
It's sweet and sad and moving and funny. Loved several of his other books too.

Glad the book group went OK: haven't read that one, but have heard it is fab. David Lodge was a lecturer in my dept when I was at uni. Nice bloke, but never taught me.

Snigs, why aren't you smee anymore? I was very confused. Aches and pains - only take notice if they niggle away for ages. And even then, try not to worry too much. All the treatment just makes you so shagged out EVERYTHING hurts. There were days when I was struggling to find something that didn't ache.

Hope all is OK SR.

PS - dd finds out who her new teacher is today. All three possibilities are meant to be pretty good, but I don't want the one she does (a man who is apparently a bit sweary - so am I, but not in front of a classful if kids ) So fingers crossed, then!

Yes, sorry 'tis me! I am still Smee. More proof of me being addled.

Fingers crossed DD doesn't get the sweary man Cakes. Sounds a bit alarming..

Alarming indeed - but he lets them have water fights at the end of each term, so clearly the ALL want him.

We shall find out later!

Well I was certainly wondering who Snigs was - it seemed so odd that she hadn't introduced herslef . Sorry you're feeling addled Smee.

My panic is over and I knew it was silly really. Brief explanation for ths who can be bothered- a guy gave me a 'raffle' ticket at the front door a few weeks ago, promoting supposedly a carpet cleaning company. The next day I got a call - hadn't won the car but had won a carpet-cleaning and could they come round that day? I said no way, was busy not well etc. So we arranged it for yesterday.

Two guys turned up - no ID (I realised after they'd gone - stupid of me). They asked me a few questions I thought a bit odd. Then asked if DH was in. I said no, but DS was (I was quite glad). Well they said company policy was only to do the cleaning if DH was in. I said in that case they could leave and no I did not wish to re-arrange.

So afterwards i thought all this a bit odd and convinced myself they were burglars etc etc.

I have looked up this company on the web and found a useful thread. Seems they usually try to spend 2 hours in the house to sell you their carpet cleaning system. So perhaps I got off lightly. I reckon they were realising as they spoke to me and looked at our living room carpet that I wasn't really a serious carpet-cleaning sort of lady!! And the hall is all tiled (Victorian) so a hugely expensive system would not appeal in the last.

So I was panicking during a period I was sure we'd be burgled but think main risk was a high-pressure cleanersell.

Sorry bit of a ramble.

Otherwise I'm OK, have ordered new staircarpet and today bought pressies for my DS's trip to South Africa as he'll be staying with a family for a few days as par of this. I'm a bit tired and didn't really like driving today . Really need some fresh air so despite ominous sky will go out in a min.

ooh SR - that could've been awkward ! glad you escaped being pressurised - but if you're having new stair carpet....

SR - sympathies, I hate things like that, they play on your mind, don't they, because you just can't quite fathom what it's all about. Glad you got rid of them. Try to forget it. The tiredness will be at its worst now as well, so have lots of rest (and treats if you can get them).

DD got just the right teacher for her, I think - not Mr Sweary or Mrs Disciplinarian, but Mrs Cuddly. She is also NOT with the child I was most keen to avoid. So hooray (bells, whistles, whooping and a choir of angels singing Allelujah)!

have a good day all!

yay- that's a relief Cakes !

Thanks

Have you got counelling again this week? Still feeling positive about it?

Hi again ladies. Have been busy with chemo, Italian fortnight, then more chemo on Tues and have just called in from my bed to find out that you are all still so busy! Hope all feeling reaaonably well, both on and off treatment. Read of SR's rads issues with particular interest as am headed there after this. Making mental note of silk hankies and insideout teeshirts!

Rome was hard work with the choir trip, 7am starts and a lot it walking in heat, but I was ok. Music fab and v moving, and v sociable too. Venetian campsite much much lazier, and have learnt that the advice to stay out of sun on chemo may be taken with pinch of salt The fake ponytail worked brilliantly under all variety of caps and hats, I could not have tolerated he wig in heat.

4th chemo down now, over half way now, this one would have been no probs if hadn't made mistake of forgetting to take sickness tablets last nite and bleeurgh today! Preventing nausea easier than curing it, it seems, won't make that mistake again.

Thnx for all the funny stories- esp enjoyed the clown in precarious position with stony-faced dd! Keep em coming..

hey cupcaked, good to see you back. Take it easy. And past halfway already - well done you!

hey too from me cupcaked ! glad the Italian trip was good and very pleased that you are over half way with chemo !

Have cleaned the inside windows and dusted - it took ages and was hideously boring. Hoping to do some work now,well after a bit of lunch. I was so tired yesterday-completely knackered -the kind of tired where you don't feel that good - not sure why.
Ds still hasn't spent any money on his London trips - he's a strange one - no sweets/souvenirs/postcards
and no theatre programme,though i did ask him to buy one.
last trip today to Science Museum,then tomorrow until lunchtime at school reflecting on their outings.

Counselling tomorrow - have had my dad unearth the file of sympathy letters and read through yesterday -have read them before lots of times but not for many years. I was struck by just how many said things about God - comes of being a Catholic I guess...
The very sweetest one is from his 10 year old best friend (my brother's)

Sounds cathartic, but very tough, MAS - take it a step at a time.

DS sounds the oposite of dd@ she'd have blown all her cash on soft toys within a millisecond of getting into the nearest shop.
His trips sound absolutley fab - I hadn't appreciated that it went on all week until you mentioned it the other day. I'll bet they feel really proud of themselves and grown up.

Window cleaning sounds like a step too far. No wonder you felt a bit ill.

I was like that myself yesterday - the whole day felt like a headlong dash from one thing to the next. Horrible. Today will be the same as well. And I'm off to my onc check-up shortly, with dd in tow owing to childcare glitches. Yikes.

good luck with onc..am sure dd will be a good girl !

Welcome back Cupcaked, and a hats off for going all the way to Italy on chemo. Blimey seems an appropriate word from where I'm sitting (think not moving very much and you get the picture ). All that and over half way through. A big congrats to you!!

SR, that carpet scam sounds scary to me. I'd have been thrown too. Am sure you'll never hear from them again though, they sound like they firmly got the message.

Cakes, yeay for DD's new teacher. I think we hear this afternoon. Got parents' evening later, so imagine we will. Hope the Onc goes well tomorrow, even with DD in tow.

MAS, do you think your exhaustion's tied in with the counselling. Wouldn't be a surprise if it was. Though I'm with cakes; window cleaning?! Hope DS loves the Science Museum. The shop's amazing, so if he's going to spend anything it's bound to be there.

hello smee - I suppose possibly it could be - maybe also the tamoxifen/antidepressant combo ?
I remember the science museum shop and it was fab - I wouldn't be surprised though if he comes back with all his money !!

Hi Cupcaked - well I think its amazing you've done your lovely Italy trip while on chemo esp. as I persoanlly don't want to go anywhere far - have a deep need to keep very local! I'll make up for it next year. Seems to work for me so I'll stick with it till mid September when all my chemo should be complete.

My rads SEs are subsiding today. I think I've escaped lightly but the redness arpound nipple was getting pretty impressive! And I almost thought skin was going to blister but seem to have just avoided it thank goodness. So aqeous cream and no bra plus loads of fluid seem to have done the trick.

Cakes - glad DD has got the best teacher. WE never had that dilemma as DCs went to a small school and for a while they even had mixed age classes, so no options re multiple teachers! The mixed age thing actually worked rather well as it gave more flexibility.

MAS - I think you're very brave to revisit your grief and I do hope the counselling is helpful. I think the tiredness could well be related.

I've walked my circuit today as won't have the nerergy for a few days post chemo tomorrow. Have also admired my courgettes and loads of green tomatoes! And wiped a lot of dust off the railing s where the neighbours' builders made a dusty mess yesterday while tidying up the border between our little patio and their big new extension.

Hope all ok including any lurkers.Hope Pennies getting on Om with rads.

Friends coming for tea in a minute.

Did I tell you I raised over £500 with my Race for Life? Can't remember so I'll just show that off again in case I forgot to tell you No need for any repeated congrats tho - that wd be tedious for you

oh I don't mind congratulating you SR - well done !!
Am glad that you seem to have escaped burned peely bits and really hope tomorrow's chemo is tolerable.

Congrats from me too SR. That's a lot of money! Great to hear your Rads SE are subsiding too. Hope Chemo tomorrow is okay. Your cycles come round so quickly, I don't envy you.

MAS, I think my DS wouldn't spend either, but only because he'd want everything and would faff too much to make up his mind.