Why do people live in squalor???????

[Dizgusted]

I have changed my name, so people can't associate the work etc.

I had to go into a young girls house the other day and couldn't beleive it, don't get me wrong, my house isn't a show home, but, it is NOT dirty, it is dusted and vacuumed every day and the dishes done at the end of each day and I am working alot of hours each week and don't really get any help with the housework from dh and have two young children.

This you girl lived with her boyfriend and her 3 children, i walked in the front door and it was foul, there was rotting dog food and maggots on one side (their youngest baby was crawling), I went in the kitchen and had to try and walk in between the dog mess etc and nearly fell,and had to steady myself on the cooker which made me retch, i didnt think it could get anyworse until i went into the living room, but it did, the sofa had no springs, and my feet were sticking to the floor which and her toddlers mess etc all over, it was boiling hot and the windows were taped shut and had mould ALL over the ledges etc. I then had to go see her mother after and stupidly though to myself that it was the girl being disgusting (her boyfriend was high).

The mothers house was even worse, they had a fire blaring in the back garden with a 2 year old running round it poking things in it, then the kitchen had mucky plates, knives, forks spoons all over, the sink itself was black and full of moldy cartons and the flyes were horrendous, the livin room was so bad I had to make excuses and go to the car, there were AT LEAST 6 or 7 moldy take away cartons on the floor, no carpet, things crawling and the sofa was once cream, there were damp patches on the walls and wall paper falling off and there again things crawling and dozens of new and old banana skins on the floor, again the windows were taped shut, i couldn't wait to get out of the house, what got me the most is not really the squalor, but the fact that they let their children run about in this, one little girl ran up to me and grabbed my leg giving me a hug and she was filthy and i could see lice in her hair so she was obviously infested.

I had to sit in the car for a bit to stop feeling sick when I came out and felt really sorry for the kids, the adults know better, there is no excuse when you can get a bottle of bleach for 50p, albeit not good stuff, but strong enough to clean things.

As soon as i came home I had to have a hot shower and doused my hair in tea tree oil and pull and nit comb through just in case and STILL didn't feel clean.

Sorry about this, rant over, but I felt so bad for the kids, no doubt they will grow up to be the same

In most work places child protection issues are the one thing that always overrides confidentiality, if that's any comfort, Diz. I think she'd have a hard time sacking you. Are you sure you shouldn't discuss it with her?

I am on my third telephone no at the minute and they are putting me through.

I think that you and your line manager have a duty to those children to make thier needs the priority in all this.

does anybody remember the family from sheffield a few months ago where the baby twins were found hours from death and one was actually passing live maggots in their nappy???

they were living in exactly the same kind of situation that you are describing today.

Good for you. Can you say anymore about what kind of job you do? I'm quite intrigued!

Fourth telephone no now, this is getting ridiculous.

Ring the NSPCC if you don't get any joy with social services.

Diz - Friday PM trying to get hold of a social worker. I've been in that movie. Good for you reporting this.

Done, they are very busy at the minute , but they are going to ring me back this evening and take note etc,

Scummy I am in sales.

Totally agree Dino, you poncey middle-class Guardian reader you.

wtf were you trying to sell them? Disinfectant?

Well done, Dizgusted. You are a star.

Dizgusted, I know you're worried about confidentiality and maybe for this reason cannot explain properly the ins and outs of why this should be an issue, but I am racking my brains trying to think of any situation where the pursuit of the wellbeing of children would lead to you being sacked.

Can you imagine the recation of the Press towards people like yourself if something dreadful were to happen .... i.e. you'd not intervened ? So .... you need to make that call ...... and if it gets you into trouble at work I'd think you'd have a very good case for unfair dismissal.

Sorry, very inappropriate, shouldn't have pressed the post message button.

lol, Caligula!

i knew someone once who was a SAHM, her DH rarely worked and spent 23 hrs a day in bed. Kids were filthy and unwashed, same clothes for 3 days etc etc etc..... she managed to get hold of a dyson and after hoovering her floor with her old one once..... the Dyson was emptied 3 times of filth just from the lounge carpet..... IT WAS SICK..... nearly reported her myself, but couldnt bring myself to do it.

No- I think lightening the moment is an important skill, Caligula. Honestly.

Caligula, i bet you're blushing

I'm one of these people that if my cat has a crap in the litter tray (covered one with door) i shut the door, put the tray outside, then run in spraying and apologising profusely, whilst chasing the cat.

Ooops ... obviously lots of great minds thinking alike.

Dino, I know the knee jerk reaction of most people when confronted with something like this is disbelief and disgust, but guess that at this extreme, there is something very very serious underlying their living conditions. It's not a simple case of "knowing" what should be done, or being too lazy to do it.

When I was first introduced to my ex's mum, after a lot of soul searching on his part, I was utterly gobsmacked to find her living like this. He had described her as having been in and out of mental institutions, as an alcoholic and as someone whom SServices were aware of, but who could be very aggressive, even violent with them, and with her neighbours, with anyone who tried to "help". I just could not believe what I was seeing ..... piles of filth ..... flies .... unusable litchen/bathroom .... soiled bed .... broken furniture .... evidence of fires started by dropped cigarettes etc. This situation had apparently developed since my ex had left home.

A couple of years later, ex's mum was diagnosed with Huntington's Chorea - which accounted for violence, inability to care for herself, detachment from surroundings etc. Yet she'd been "known" to SServices for years, and examined by countless doctors. HC is a terminal hereditary condition and because her upbringing had been largely in homes, the family link - and clues - had been missed. After diagnosis a lot of family history stuff fell into place.

Anyway, I've completely digressed - just saying all that to illustrate that the way some people live is more complicated than you might think at 1st. In this particular case though, sounds like drug abuse might be a factor, plus, of course, the way the woman's been brought up herself if her mum's house is anything to go by. Whatever - the children involved need to be taken somehow out of this "loop" of squalor, even if not literally, but maybe with the intervention of SServices and other agencies who can perhaps re-educate the mother how to look after herself and them.

Mind you ..... and I don't mean to sound flippant about a very worrying post, but I do definitely wonder the same as you Dino when I watch stuff like "How Clean is Your House?" .... those families don't seem to have underlying cause for their dirtiness.

Done, the fella who rang me back was FANTASTIC, i was retching describing the house and he gave me a minute to compose myself, i got the other address and he has told me that this is classed as child assessment not protection, although there is a very fine line. They are going to go out in about a week get in touch with the schools etc and other agencies and ring me back and let me know what is happening.

bump

Yes - I'll second that. You've done the right thing ... guess you'll probably never know the outcome (?) but you've done all you can.

dinosaur, the man said all the other workers are busy on child protection issues at the minute.