Severe incontinence ruining my pregnancy

[violentviolet]

I have suffered from mild to moderate incontinence since having my first child. I leak very often and struggle to get to the toilet in time in the mornings as there are two sets of stairs to negotiate first.

I'm now pregnant again, in my 3rd trimester and the pressure of the baby is making it a lot worse, especially in the mornings.

I bought a urinal as a temporary measure until the baby is here. I told my partner I'd bought one "just in case" as "my bladder isn't too good when pg" but I feel too embarassed to use it in the bedroom in the mornings, and this morning I woke up with such a dire need to go I barely made it down the stairs before I just had to use it and I'm sure he heard me using it.

I'm so embarassed, I feel like it's an elderly person's condition and he won't want a sex life with me if he knows the extent of how bad it is. How on earth can I cope with this for the next couple of months? it's just going to get worse and worse, I feel so depressed and humiliated.

VV - as others have said, PLEASE ask for a referral to a specialist about this.

The other thing is that if you already have problems arising from previous births, you probably should have a c-section, not a vaginal birth this time. I am very, very surprised this has not been already suggested to you.

Sorry have only skimmed. I have a severe prolapse and incontinence from my 1st and only vaginal delivery. I see a uro-gynae consultant every 6 months to manage the prolpase- the incontinence I have to live with, but isn't as bad as yours. The reason I have posted quickly is to let you know that my two subsequent deliveries were via c section and my consultant bent over backwards to ensure that they were. Feel free to CAT me if you need any guidance re the prolapse- I have had it nearly 8 years now and am not going down the surgical route in the near future.

Thanks, sorry to hear about your severe prolapse suwoo, I can imagine it impacts a lot on your life. Thankfully mine is only mild (so far, she says grimly) my cervix feels lower than it did pre-kids, easily felt with a finger, and during sex it feels like he's grown a couple of inches and is battering my cervix in almost every position.

I did mention it to my GP as I said, she just said I looked a bit saggy down there but it's to be expected after a vaginal birth. I can't remember if I mentioned that sex hurt every time though. And the prolapse could be affecting my incontinence too couldn't it?

I will try to get a referral, I have somehow found a telephone number of the deputy heads of midwifery for the hospital, so I will try them and see where it gets me. If I get through to that bloody midwife I hate I'm going to scream!

don't be put off, you are quite within your rights to request a midwife who you can stand, remember.

Keep going, ring that number!

FWIW I have a friend with some GU problems, which means that she has to catheterize herself in order to empty her bladder. We've openly discussed it and other problems surrounding it. I'm not a bit embarrassed or disturbed by the conversations. Talk to your friends... they might be surprisingly supportive. My view on problems is always to talk about them and be open, then you won't worry about them suspecting that something is going on.

FYI my cervix is visible on the outside of my vagina when not managed- niiice! I had a ring pessary in place for about 6/7 years and now I have 2 ring pessaries. My incontinence has been worse since the prolapse has been better managed- its a toss up between the two things really.

Its just shite isn't it really

Fourarms, you sound like a good friend, unfortunately I know for a fact that my friends would be utterly disgusted, I took one with me to buy baby bits last time I was pregnant, maternity pads etc, and she stood in the aisle shuddering and looking massively uncomfortable, saying she couldn't understand why anyone would put themselves through childbirth when it was all so gross. And she's the most understanding friend out of the bunch, so there's no way I'm telling them about this!

suwoo, you poor thing. I'm glad it's being managed at least, but yes you're right, it's shit.

vv are you very young?

Swoo why don't you have the op?

hi violentviolet

i can sympathise with you, i've had similar probs since i was in my early 20's when my dd's were born. Am now 30 and expecting no'3 and having incontinance probs.

I wear sanitary pads just incase i sneeze or anything else!, and do wake myself up in the night to go to the loo, I think you should set an alarm for yourself as it would save the morning dash!

You are well within your rights to request a different doctor, is there another doc at the surgery who you like better? also you can change midwife if you feel that she isnt offering you propper care.

I used to be terribly embarrised about this but have since talked to all my friends who have had kids and they all experience some form of incontenance during pregnancy and afterwards. you really are not alone! and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

doing pelvic floor exercises as often as you can now and after birth should help you keep more controll.

best of luck x

I was only 26 when it happened to me. All my friends know and I have even tried to show them whilst pissed .

Up until now I haven't had the op as wanted more children, plus they've told me that the success rate isn't phenomenal and other things can prolapse too afterwards.

The main reason is that I am self employed in a job that involves lifting. I can't afford to take the time off or risk the lifting undoing the operation.