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Original poster

CHECK YOUR BREASTS!!!

739 replies

FiveSoloRings · 20/12/2009 13:37

I got news this morning that one of my friends died yesterday. She was in her very early 30's, two young children and everything to live for. Despite a mastectomy a couple of years ago, the cancer spread and she is gone. I can't tell you how dreadful I feel.

It is so important that we check our breasts regularly. It takes a few minutes and could save your life.
One of my best friends had a message just like this one, but it was face to face and by her boyfriends exgf who also had just had a mastectomy because of breast cancer. This message from such an unlikely messenger almost certainly saved my best friends life.

Pass the message on please ladies. Make sure your friends and family are nudged into remembering to check.

OP posts:
ifancyashandy · 29/05/2010 18:05

Thanks MAS. Trouble with mine is that it's very much 'all or nothing' - contracts are usually 3-6 months and the hours become very very long as the contract nears it's end. High pressure etc etc and office / location based and I would be the boss of a team I put together, so have to be 100% 'on it' IYKWIM.

I know it's a bridge I may not have to cross but thanks for replying. I may talk to Macmillan about it too.

Hope your weekend going ok. Mine spent at father hospital bed, with family saying things like 'Oh, I bet you all can't wait for things to go back to normal...' So I really can't tell everyone what's going on in my life at mo and have to keep reminding myself to think before I speak, in case I inadverdently let something slip. Thinking before speaking is not always my forte

MaryAnnSingleton · 29/05/2010 18:18

must be very hard for you ifancy.
My work much easier to deal with being the only one involved - but really hope you won't be needing to worry about all that.

solo · 30/05/2010 02:00

Ifancy, it feels very 'heavy' that you have to shoulder this all on your own.

I hope everyone is ok.

ifancyashandy · 30/05/2010 09:47

Thanks Solo. It's ok - am a bit tired and stressed this morning but having had my mum in hospital 2 weeks ago and my dad at the moment, I just can't tell her. She needs my Dad at home before that can happen - they'll need to support each other.

Just got to get through the weekend and then I can see my friend who knows. And of course, you guys are being great.

cupcaked · 30/05/2010 21:36

Thanks ifancy, when you sent that I was getting razored and you know what, it was just the most liberating experience to take control and not have to endure the death by 1000 cuts thing which had been going on all week. I don't look nearly as scarey as I thought I would and the wig is really not bad at all. So I went up the road to try it out and bought a new frock, and then went out for tea last night and know what else: I may have lost the taste for wine and beer completely, but vodka and cranberry still goes down a treat! Onwards and upwards!!

ifancyashandy · 30/05/2010 22:19

Hurrah! You can have fun seeing what other drinks are still slipping down ok!

Vodka and ginger beer? Well, is is good for nausea!!

MaryAnnSingleton · 31/05/2010 09:38

Pimms might be good,being vaguely herbal and you get your fruit intake sorted too ! (we had some yesterday)

ifancyashandy · 31/05/2010 22:25

Gah... just watched the news with my mum and saw the 'Breast Cancer Vaccine' story. That was hard enough and then she told me about a distant relative who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Was bloody awful sitting there saying 'Oh, how dreadful...' but just couldn't bring myself to say 'I've got a lump the doctors are worried about'. Christ, I'm going to feel awful when I do tell them...

Sorry - hand holding required.....

MaryAnnSingleton · 01/06/2010 07:28

hand here ifancy xxx

Amapoleon · 01/06/2010 09:07

Hola, hope everyone is ok today!

Hand here too Ifancy.

Mmm Pimms or Vodka and Cranberry, what a choice!

cupcaked · 01/06/2010 16:54

Another hand ifancy, or maybe a shoulder since got 2 hands held already. Hang in there, try to take it a day at a time. Can allow yourself a little speculating which I think is helpful to some extent but try not to anticipate problems that u don't have yet and might not have at all, it will at best exhaust you and at worst drive you completely mad. And for what? As it won't change anything. So easy for me to say, but just be kind to yourself and plough on in survival mode, little steps at a time until u know what u have to deal with next.

MaryAnnSingleton · 01/06/2010 17:06

wise and sensible words from cupcaked there

ifancyashandy · 01/06/2010 17:39

Thank you for all the hand holding / shoulder leaning!

Yes indeed, very wise words. I am absolutely, constantly, exhausted (even though I am sleeping the sleep of the dead for 8 / 9 hours a night) and don't know if it's down to possibly being ill or just worry and stress. I am going to make a concerted effort to take one day at a time (one hour / minute at a time if necessary!) for the next two weeks or a) I'll go start raving bonkers and b) I'll have no virtual or real life friends left!

Oh and I vote for strawberry daiquiri's!

smee · 02/06/2010 10:44

ifancy, am here for you too. Strawberry Daiquiri's sound essential. I got through waiting on champagne. Expensive but very therapeutic..!

ifancyashandy · 02/06/2010 22:16

Thank you Smee - am ok today. I just feel constantly pre-menstral. And I'm not. But taking every day as it comes.

Forced myself out of bed and to work today - really didn't want to go in, just wanted to pull the duvet over my head and have a day on my own. But clearly can't do that with a DD! And actually, glad I did - would have just sat and brooded if I'd not. And dragged myself to an exercise class which I loved! So not so bad a day after all!

But am very taken with your champagne prescription!

solo · 03/06/2010 02:03

Hey, I'm here too! I've not been around much, but I'm still virtually here for you(all).x

MaryAnnSingleton · 03/06/2010 08:25

how are you doing today ifancy ?

ifancyashandy · 03/06/2010 19:51

Hi! Thanks for coming in to check up on me - I've been at work etc.

Today has been a good day! I've managed to get through it without feeling like I was a) going to disolve into a puddle of tears or b) go mad! I also managed to get a swim in, which I adored. Very tired now but ok.

How is everyone else doing? MAS? Cupcaked? Shanti?

Hope everyone is well and enjoying the sunshine?

cupcaked · 04/06/2010 01:43

Called back to see how you were ifancy, glad today not too bad. I had second chemo on tues and after initial sleepless nite, discovered drug which makes me sleep and sleep and that's what I've been up to since then. So lucky to have my mum to stay to give me
the luxury of doing that. Also had gorgeous new day old nephew / godson come to visit, best medicine of all.

Keep swimming ifancy, if that makes u feel good. Cut out as much negative stuff as u are able to. Shoulders and hands all still there for u.

MaryAnnSingleton · 04/06/2010 08:31

swimming sounds excellent idea ifancy
New drug sounds excellent to help you sleep the effects of chemo off Cupcaked- and how great to have a lovely mum !
Take care everyone

Amapoleon · 04/06/2010 13:34

just wanted to say Hola!

ifancyashandy · 04/06/2010 18:37

How lovely to see your new nephew / godson! I'm always shocked at how tiny they are!

Fab that you've been able to sleep loads too - wouldn't dream of assuming how you feel but bet it's bliss to get a good nights kip in!

Thanks for the shoulders and hands - at the risk of sounding like a bloody stuck record (am beginning to bore myself), I am a bit weepy this evening. My tolerance and patience are zero - it feels like I have massive PMT 24/7 as I said before. Which makes me worried that it's down to potential illness (ie. too many hormones going bonkers in my body). But is probably just latent stress. I feel ok when I am at work (temping at the mo as 'real' job seems to be a distant memory - another issue!) but when I get home, god I feel defective!

Fortunately, DD is with her Daddy all weekend till Monday eve so at least I'm not inflicting myself on her!

shantishanti · 04/06/2010 20:25

Hi there, just popping in. Glad you've managed to have some good days ifancy - let's hope the good weather lasts the weekend. Sunshine is good for the soul.

cupcaked · 05/06/2010 01:32

Ifancy, it is absolutely not illness doing that, this sort of illness does not cause bonkers hormones, but worrying about it most certainly (and naturally) does cause you to be so wound up that patience and tolerance don't exist and tears appear at the drop of a hat, so put that one to bed now. And as for the phrase 'just latent stress': it's not latent at all, and as for 'just', there couldn't be many more stressful situations than what you're in now, so cut yourself some slack, you're allowed to feel all those things, including weepy. My bet is you're only weepy now becos DD is away so you can allow yourself to be. How old is she? Do you think she is aware of any of your worry?

Be good to yourself...

ifancyashandy · 05/06/2010 07:24

Thank you Cupcaked - that's good to know. I am usually a rational and sensible type - not the sort to get hysterical, I promise!

And by 'latent' I mean I am mostly ok and don't feel stressed and then something happens - like I can't open a jar or some such nonsense and I want to kill the jar, IYKWIM? But you're right - I should to be nicer to myself. Had a good cry last night, which (apart from the puffy eyes) has made me feel a bit better. A release, you know?

DD is 2 - think (hope) I am managing to keep it together in front of her and my friends who know have been amazing at taking her out / having her round theirs for tea etc to give me some time.

Am going to look for a new maxi dress (plain black - anyone seen one?) and go to yoga today before having a few drinks with a friend this eve.

Hope everyone got nice weekends planned.

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