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Original poster

CHECK YOUR BREASTS!!!

739 replies

FiveSoloRings · 20/12/2009 13:37

I got news this morning that one of my friends died yesterday. She was in her very early 30's, two young children and everything to live for. Despite a mastectomy a couple of years ago, the cancer spread and she is gone. I can't tell you how dreadful I feel.

It is so important that we check our breasts regularly. It takes a few minutes and could save your life.
One of my best friends had a message just like this one, but it was face to face and by her boyfriends exgf who also had just had a mastectomy because of breast cancer. This message from such an unlikely messenger almost certainly saved my best friends life.

Pass the message on please ladies. Make sure your friends and family are nudged into remembering to check.

OP posts:
ifancyashandy · 12/05/2010 19:46

Hello all - Slept Ok - Woke up at 4am but forced myself to go back to sleep!

Well, I got my appointment through today. Next Friday morning. God, I love the NHS - only found the lump yesterday morning! The receptionist who called me apologised that it was going to be early in the morning (8.30) but I nearly bit her hand off! Much rather have it early in the morning than wait another week!

Shanti Shanti - that must be incredibly hard for you. I don't have that issue to deal with and I feel for you. Such mixed feelings, as you say... and I totally get the calmness and feelings of inevitability - that's exactly how I feel too. Maybe it's just the brains way of preparing you for the worst.

Sandripples, I'm so pleased for you that you're coming out the other side. I keep trying to think of all the positive stories of survival.

Today went ok - I just buried myself in work but would get this wave of adrenaline / stomach turning over every now and then. I haven't told any of my friends or family yet. Can't quite face it... one thing I am a little concerned about is my appointment. Will I find out the results then? They've told me I should plan to be there for a few hours...and there goes the adrenaline feeling again... but I was planning on going on my own. Any words of advice?

smee · 12/05/2010 20:19

ifancy, poor you - have not long since been through this, and I'd say take a friend -it's a hard appointment even if it's good news, and honestly the chances are it will be. You only need to tell one person, but it's good to have someone with you.

Timescale of getting test results does vary. They might tell you straight from ultrasound/ mammogram that it's a cyst or something not to worry about, or they may take a fine needle biopsy and send that off to the lab. Even if they do that it doesn't mean it's cancer. As MAS says test results can take a week, but dependent on the hospital you might be able to find out sooner. When I went, I had my results turned around on the same day. Check on your hospital's website and see if they have a Breast Cancer section. If they do that should tell you how they work it. Fingers crossed for you x

ifancyashandy · 12/05/2010 20:48

Thank you Smee - hope your ok / getting well again.

And I'll have a think about which friend of mine won't be either 'grim reaper / gloom / doom' or 'Pollyanna' about it and if I can come up with one I won't want to kill, I'll confide in her. But I've just had an unrelated hospital stay so I feel like I've used up a great deal of goodwill already...

And thank you for the tip of looking on the hospitals web. It doesn't state it but I'm going to call in the morning and ask.

Thank you again.

ps. do mamograms hurt?

smee · 12/05/2010 21:05

I wouldn't say hurt, but mine was pretty uncomfortable. I'd guess pain levels depend on how tender your breasts are, but actually mine made me giggle - I had a very small woman kneeling at my feet trying to get my breast to stay on the plate. Am sure giggling's not an altogether normal reaction, but it was probably a way of coping. A lot of women do find them upsetting though and I really can see why. Just accept whatever you feel as everyone's different.

Amapoleon · 12/05/2010 21:31

My mammogram wasn't particularly painful but not very dignified, especially with great big bosoms like mine

I can't believe the bruising I have after my op. My 3 year old is obsessed with it and keeps asking to look. I think he's secretly hoping that they might have fixed it, so he can breastfeed again.

MaryAnnSingleton · 12/05/2010 21:33

good advice from sandripples and smee...
mammograms are undignified more than anything and a bit uncomfortable - the breast does get squashed,top and sides-so two squashings for each breast... I am pathetic about disrobing in front of anyone so that's always a bit of a faff for me. The discomfort does last long though,so don't worry about that.

MaryAnnSingleton · 12/05/2010 21:35

doesn't last long is obviously what i meant !!
Hello amapoleon -we must've been typing at the same time !

Amapoleon · 12/05/2010 21:37

Hola!

ifancyashandy · 12/05/2010 21:56

Fortunately, I am a tart and don't mind disrobing! . Actually, it's more that I've been in hospital a couple of times for other things and also because I try and remember that Doc off 'Embarrassing Illnesses' saying that they are used to seeing people in the buff and don't even register it!

What I do do though is cry... I have to apologise to all the nurses / doctors and explain that it's how I cope with stress and to ignor it. I cry when they put a cannula in / administer anaesthetic / wake me up after ops - you name it. I'll be a jibbering wreck next week.

It's good to know what to expect - I'm definitely someone who wants to know EVERYTHING in advance. An educated patient I call myself. Although I fear doctors have a different name for me...

Amapoleon - bruising sounds horrid. Am sure you know about it but have you tried arnica?

Amapoleon · 12/05/2010 22:15

Thanks Ifancy, I am a crier too, although I didn't know this until I went into hospital last week. The surgeon decided i was an anxious type. I cried all over the young girl who took my blood pressure, it was the first time I had been away from my kids for so long. She must have thought I was a nutter. I did apologise the next time I saw her.

I'd forgotten about arnica, will go and have a look for some. Thanks.

ifancyashandy · 12/05/2010 22:30

I share your crying shame!

With the arnica, if you can (check with your doc etc), take the pastilles. If not, the cream is good too. But is obviously topical so takes longer to work.

Also, if you have any Body Shop Peppermint Foot Lotion, try that in the meantime? This is not as nutty as it sounds - it has loads of arnica in it so perhaps a good interim lotion?

solo · 12/05/2010 22:33

Gosh, lots of posts on here...not that I'm pleased, but I'm very glad that you are all able to chat and ask questions etc and MAS is great at answering and supporting.
I know I started the thread, but I feel a bit fraudulent being on here now not having had any such problematic lumps(sorry, can't think of another way of putting it). I did have a lump under my arm when I was about 20 which my GP assured me was an infected gland and I certainly know how worried I was back then, but that is all(thank God).

All you ladies keep positive and do use the thread even when you get the everything is Ok chat from the doctor; there could be other ladies who come along and need your experience, advice and support.

Good luck with all the appointments!

MaryAnnSingleton · 12/05/2010 22:52

thank you for starting it solo

ifancyashandy · 12/05/2010 23:09

Well said MAS. And good point Solo - even if / when I get that chat from the doctor, I shall make sure I come here to support others.

And thank you for your good wishes.

101damnations · 13/05/2010 14:20

I'm bumping this thread.

I've been lurking for the past couple of weeks and admire the posters on here for their resiliance and helpfulness.My mum found a large lump in her breast just over two weeks ago and went to the breast clinic last week to get it checked out.They were great,and she went back today for her biopsy results.She was worried because the lump was so big and she didn't know how long it had been there,the scan she had showed something under her arm in the lymph glands too,so it wasn't looking good.

Happily,the biopsy has shown that the lump is pre cancerous and the lymph nodes are fine.She will need a mastectomy as the lump is so big and her boobs so small,but she is reconciled to it having to be done.I am so relieved for her,the past weeks have been awful.So thank you to all on this thread for posting so eloquently about how they cope.It has really helped.And please anyone reading who doesn't already do it,please check your breasts.

MaryAnnSingleton · 13/05/2010 19:09

101 hello and so glad that your mum has been caught early - sorry of course that she has to have a mastectomy. Hope it goes well for her- if you look at the Tamoxifen thread there are several people who have had that operation abnd might have useful tips and advice for surgery and recovery.

ifancyashandy · 13/05/2010 21:27

I managed to apply body lotion on my breasts without dissolving into a puddle of tears or being too squeamish (!) so thank you MAS and everyone for your words of support on that.

MaryAnnSingleton · 13/05/2010 22:04

well done ifancy - hang on in there !

shantishanti · 14/05/2010 09:46

Well, I've been trying to keep busy and keep my mind off it (hence not getting to the computer much over the past couple of days), but like ifancy I keep having those adrenaline surges...
Was at home doing some decorating yesterday, and foolishly instead of putting some happy music on I listened to an incredibly melancholy play on radio 4. Big mistake. Found myself thinking all sorts of sad and hopeless thoughts. I veer from feeling OK, and quite positive - whatever it is, I'll deal with it - to totally hopeless and wanting to cry. But I'm not really a crier, and I really feel I have to keep a positive face on things for DD and DH. Poor DH, when I told him on monday he looked so mournful and said 'I've only just got used to not having to worry about you again'.

I don't find that I worry too much about the tests themselves (have had tons over the past year!) - its the waiting for results, and then the meeting with the consultant where they tell you. That moment before they get the words out...the most unbearable tension. Argh.

Sorry, huge ramble. Needed to talk though. Not finding it easy to talk to anyone in 'real life'! Only friend I would confide in is really busy this week so haven't seen her.

smee · 14/05/2010 12:36

shanti, it's okay to ramble. Ramble away I say. cry too if it helps and certainly don't hold it in. But keep on saying it's going to be okay to yourself, because in truth it probably is. Your lump's highly likely to be a cyst or something benign, but even if it is breast cancer, it's more than likely both treatable and curable. Fill the weekend with treats I say, you deserve it.

MaryAnnSingleton · 14/05/2010 13:03

yep- what smee says from me too -you'll get through this...

venusonarockbun · 14/05/2010 19:56

Hi ladies please can I join this thread?. I havent read it all and not even sure if its the right thread to be on. Its about breast lumps. Has anyone ever found a tiny lump, and I mean tiny (about the size of the E in the Mumsnet logo at the top of page). If so would you get it checked out?

101damnations · 14/05/2010 22:44

venus,it is worth getting any lump checked out.I've had 3 small lumps in the past 7 years and gone to the Drs.They have never made me feel like a time waster and have been able to reassure me.

MAS,thank you.My mum has got a date for her surgery of 25th May.She is actually relieved to be getting rid of her breast from what she says.She has several harmless lumps removed in the past 25 years,so as far as she is concerned keeping it is more trouble than it's worth.I'll read up on these threads and pass on the advice.I'm planning on going in to do all the washing,cooking,cleaning ect for as long as it takes for her to recover.

MaryAnnSingleton · 14/05/2010 23:50

you sound like a lovely daughter and am sure you'll help your mum through it 101.
Venus - As 101 says,it really is a good idea to have even the tiniest bump checked- no one will think you are wasting their time.

solo · 16/05/2010 01:08

Bumping!