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General health

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Original poster

I'm scared, I can't eat I'm wrecked with pains and headaches and I just want to curl up and for it all to go away.

30 replies

hohoholepew · 09/12/2009 22:24

My DD is 11 and suffering from suicidal thoughts. It started 6 weeks ago and we're sill waiting for fucking help. We're taking her to a private therapist tomorrow. What will I do if he says he can't help? I don't know how much more I can cope I don't know what else to do to help her. what do you do when your baby asks if you're going to kill her with her eyes pleading with you to say no.

I can't cope anymore

OP posts:

MegBusset · 09/12/2009 22:41

How tough for you all.

Are you (supposedly) getting help through the NHS?

Original poster

hohoholepew · 09/12/2009 22:43

Yes she was assessed last Monday and I phoned this mon to find out if an appointment has been made. they couldn't find her notes

OP posts:

dippica · 09/12/2009 22:46

That's awful. No helpful advice - hopefully someone will be along to say something sensible...

Original poster

hohoholepew · 09/12/2009 22:57

Thanks for taking the time to answer. I don't really know why I posted to be honest

OP posts:

MegBusset · 09/12/2009 22:59

Have you contacted someone like Mind or Saneline -- they have 24hr helplines that might be able to give you some advice or support?

MegBusset · 09/12/2009 23:00

It's OK, it's a shit thing to deal with (I had some issues along these lines as a teen and have had many friends deal with MH issues, it really can be overwhelming) and sometimes it can help to offload

Original poster

hohoholepew · 09/12/2009 23:02

No I haven't I was given a number through my work for counselling but i don't know if I can face it. This week has been so shit it;s just thrown me. We expected her therapy to have started by now. I know we;re not the only people waiting for help but they could at least keep us up to date

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MegBusset · 09/12/2009 23:08

That is crap, I guess you have to just keep pushing til you get the help you need.

PacificMistletoeandnoWine · 09/12/2009 23:08

Just posted on your other thread re CBT.

Sorry to hear that things are that bad, and she is so young !
I presume you have been through the usual channels ie GP, referral to CAMHT etc? I know waiting times can be dire...
What support have you had? Can you access counselling for yourself to help you see your daughter through this difficult time?

Have the Samaritans phone number next to your phone, just in case you feel the need to speak to a real person any time day or night.

Most hospitals will have 24 hr cover for psychiatry if things are just too hard for you to manage yourself.

Hope tomorrow's visit to the therapist will be constructive.

alypaly · 09/12/2009 23:47

hoho...sorry to hear about your DD. Please stay strong for her.
Do you know what might be making her feel like this.is she being bullied...

dont crumble...rthe reason i say this is because my best friend lost his daughter(although she was 22) to suicide and now he regrets not staying strong for her...although it is different dealing with an adult.
Hers was down to sexual abuse by a close relative when she was a little girl.

if you need to talk,just come back on

Original poster

hohoholepew · 10/12/2009 08:09

Thanks everyone, feel a bit better today. I just get so tired. DD isn't being bullied, it's her first year at high school and she loves it. She has suffered with anxiety all her life (she has NF1 and it's connected) but it's been managable. She has a terrible guilt complex, phobias and is pessimistic. Going to school has opened up things she had been sheltered from, ie the news, drugs awareness, abuse etc. I think she has OCD brought on by anxiety, she has a blood phobia and is obsessed with her period/puberty starting. The suicidal thoughts are unwanted, they pop into her head and she can't clear her mind from them.

Hopefully today might be the start of her getting better.

OP posts:

PacificMistletoeandnoWine · 10/12/2009 08:23

Oh, hoho, your daughter has so much to deal with!

Good luck for today.

EccentricaGallumbits · 10/12/2009 08:30

porr DD and poor you too.

hope today is the beginning of some help for you both.

blinks · 10/12/2009 08:31

is the NF1 being monitored properly hoho?

does she have regular check ups?

shabbapinkfrog · 10/12/2009 08:33

The therapist will be able to help. You are doing the right thing. If she had broken a bone, or accidentally burnt herself you would rush her to the hospital. It sounds like, at the moment, her emotions and feelings are not quite 'working properly' so you have to see someone who can help her fix them.

My DS1 (27 years) lost two of his brothers, one was his twin. A few years ago he just couldn't cope anymore. He had awful separation anxiety and really just could not cope with life. He went to see a psychiatrist and within about 6 visits was a changed man. If he gets low now he always refers back to what the psychiatrist taught him about coping.

I hope today that your DD gets the help she needs. Will be thinking about both of you.

alypaly · 10/12/2009 09:17

sorry to be ignorant,what is NF1?is it neurofibromatosis

OhYouMerryMerryKitten · 10/12/2009 10:59

I'm really sorry to hear you are all going through this.

Have you tried young minds? You phone them for a quick chat, then a counsellor phones you back at a time convenient for you. Its a free service and could be a good way for to chat things over with a professional.

PixieOnaChristmasTree · 10/12/2009 16:50

Hoholepew - the counsellor will be able to help. They are trained to deal with cases like your daughter's and I'm sure that they've got millions of techniques to help her.

CBT itself is wonderful - it sets you up for dealing with things for life and can change people's lives in a few sessions.

I hope you're feeling better and that her appointmenr went OK.

I often think about you and wonder how you're getting on.

Original poster

hohoholepew · 10/12/2009 16:56

Yes alypaly it is, she has type 1.

What a difference a day makes! We saw the therapist this morning and it was very, very good. DD and him really 'gelled' IYSWIM. She was able to talk freely to him and he was confident he can help. He is able to see her 1 more time before Christmas. He has told her he can't 'fix' her anixety, she'll always have it, but he will teach her how to cope with it so it doesn't overtake her life.

He said that her emotional side of her brain is dominating the logical side and it needs 're wired'. He is going to teach her EMDR.

Thank you so much for everyone who took the time to reply.

BTW we had a message on the phone from Family Services saying it will be another 2 to 3 weeks before an appointment will be sent out.

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Original poster

hohoholepew · 10/12/2009 16:58

Sorry pixi x posted Thank you

Blinks DD goes to the genetic clinic once a year, more if we request it. They saw her 2 weeks ago to rule out a brain tumour.

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TreeFuses · 10/12/2009 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

hohoholepew · 10/12/2009 17:30

Sorry your family is suffering too . The positive thing about DD is nobody seems to think she'll actually do it. It just pops into her head. She has handled knives, at home and in school, and hasn't always made the connection. She does get nervous in HE but can cope. The poor mite is just exhausted trying to hide it from people and battling the visions she has.

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MegBusset · 10/12/2009 18:54

Glad things went well today

PacificMistletoeandnoWine · 10/12/2009 20:39

Glad to hear today went well.

It is phantastic news that your daughter got on well with the therapist; that is literally half the battle. The best therapist in the world will struggle to achieve much if there isn't a good "partnership" going between him and client.
I do hope she finds a way to live with her anxiety. Anxiety is an emotion we all have and it is designed to keep us safe, but can be very disabling if it takes over and stops her from doing things she wants/needs to do.

Very very best of luck to her and your family.

Original poster

hohoholepew · 10/12/2009 20:46

Thank you

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