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General health

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Original poster

Tried to save someone but they passed away infront of children,

71 replies

morningstar · 28/09/2009 12:20

I am in shock and naturally upset but friends have said I should get checked out as I did cpr without protection please advise as I feel this is unrelevant.

OP posts:

wonderingwondering · 28/09/2009 20:02

Sorry to be so morbid. I don't want to upset anyone. But the figure may be a comfort to someone who has performed CPR but not been able to save the person.

OrangeFish · 28/09/2009 20:06

MS I think that you did your best and you have to believe that. You gave him the best chance, but unfortunately it was not to be.

I used to work in a hospital and remember to be told during the CPR update what lavenderkate has already said. A very small proportion of people makes it, I remember they said something like 7 out of 100.

So trust yourself that you did your best, because I'm sure you did. It was not in your hands.

Rindercella · 28/09/2009 20:07

MorningStar, I am so sorry you had to go through this. It must have been awful, especially with the poor man's children being there.

You have to look after yourself though. I speak sadly from experience - a few years ago a colleague collapsed and died of a heart attack when we were in mid conversation. The shock of it stayed with me for a very long time. You need to be with someone who will give you a hug and support you through this.

I don't normally do this, but a huge {{{{hug}}}} to you. Take care of yourself.

GypsyMoth · 28/09/2009 20:07

i had to do cpr on my mil. fil and i were doing it together,but he stopprd and said 'leave it love,she's gone' but i carried on alone. it was the hardest 20 mins work i've ever done,physically and emotionally too. ambulance peeps took over,turned out thazt whatever we'd been doing was enough to keep her alive,but she died in hosp 10 days later,and didn't regain consiousnes at all.

it stays with you morningstar...for a while.

had you had previous training. i'd done a st john ambulance course,and had paramedics on the phone.

everyone should try and go on a course,cos so many people have said they wouldn't know what to do if it came to it.

Horton · 28/09/2009 22:17

Morningstar, just wanted to say how brave and kind you were to try your best and how good to know that there are people who will bother out there. And you know, if you saw him after he died, think about it. You say he was a nice man. I bet he was trying to say thank you to you for trying to help him. You did really really well.

Original poster

morningstar · 29/09/2009 07:40

I did First aid course as I wanted to be a childminder, glad I did the course, Im of to see the doctor today only to talk about it as he or she can answer my questions. You have all been so wonderful and I feel glad that I talked to you all, I wont forget the kindness and support you have all given me through this sad time,thank you xx.

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dareisayit · 29/09/2009 07:50

Oh morningstar, how awful for you! But so well done for your bravery and giving CPR!!! Not many people will try.

My husband did on a flight, woman suffering asthma attack. Purser went to get oxygen tanks then took over.

I've just recently completed first aid course and the ladies said that there is no recorded case of HIV or STI transmissions from CPR. Are you vaccinated against Hep A & B? I'd speak to a GP for peace of mind but I don't think you need to worry.

Please don't be sad and cry, you have done what was in your powers and he is at rest now.

Lomond · 29/09/2009 08:00

Well done for doing what you could, his family will be ever gratefull to you for that. So many of us wouldn't have a clue what to do.

How for the children.

BalloonSlayer · 29/09/2009 08:08

Well done morningstar. How brave and wonderful you are.

This happened to someone I know. Like you she found it very shocking. She had a visit from the ambulance crew who reassured her she had done all the right things and there was nothing else that could have been done.

It stayed with her for quite a while; she will never forget it. I am so proud of her.

She was told by ambulance, police etc that first aid trained or not, it is very unusual for a member of the public to try to save a complete stranger.

Re the CPR without protection, I wouldn't imagine being checked out at this early stage would be of any use, so you have plenty of time to seek advice from your GP.

I appreciate that CPR is more than "the kiss of life" but had you met this man in a pub on New Years Eve and snogged him drunkenly, would you have been worried about your health? Obviously if there was blood and /or vomit in the equation here my argument does not apply, but it was just a thought.

Well done and unmumsnetty (((((hug)))))

CuntWhacker · 29/09/2009 08:10

Well done morningstar.

No wonder you are in shock.

And those poor children

TwoManyFallsAndYouGetABadScore · 29/09/2009 08:15

morningstar, the shock will stay with your for a while. A different situation but I was with my best friend when her DH died and I replayed the event night after night in my head. I actually realise now that is part of the healing process so this could happen to you. I can still see the events clearly but I can switch them off - they are not so traumatic now.

Try to talk about it as much as you can, it really does help to get it out of your system. I'm glad you are going to have a chat to the doctor.

So sorry that this has happened and as everyone else as said, well done for trying so hard.

Thandeka · 29/09/2009 08:27

Well done you morningstar that was very brave. I don't know if it will help at all but CPR sucess rate is actually very low- around 5% particularly in heart attack cases. That is not to say not to try - as there is still a chance you could save them but I wondered if knowing that stat might help you- unfortunately he was probably one of those ones whose time was up and there wasn't really anything you could do. I mean that in a don't beat yourself up for it not working way but obviously don't want to upset you further so please ignore my post if it does.
xxx

Original poster

morningstar · 29/09/2009 10:44

Thank you Thandeka your post has not upset me I know your right and spoke to doctor who said that when the man collapsed there was no real chance that he would of recovered and I didnt have a difubuliser and I couldnt of done anything to have changed that, I have excepted that, I just guess the children seeing me trying to revive him will take time for me to get over and that I couldnt bring him back for them. xx
But I dont blame myself and they know I tried to help xx

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herladyship · 29/09/2009 11:14

well done for being brave enough to try and save this man.. so sorry that there was an unhappy ending

once somones heart has stopped, there is only a very slim chance of 'bringing them back' even in a well equipped hospital situation..

at the hospital i work in, we don't do any 'mouth to mouth' because the evidence suggests that chest compressions are just as effective on their own (when you you compress over a persons heart you automatically deflate the lungs and they will reinflate)..

just thought that might be worth sharing, hopefully none of you will be in this situation as it is a very shocking and upsetting experience

well done again morningstar x

RubysReturn · 29/09/2009 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

charlotteolivia · 29/09/2009 11:36

well done for trying, the family will have some reassurance that everything possible was done, and that a kind stranger helped.

people who were talking about shields, here link i have bought off this website. ace service and delivery. wide range of stuff.

No elibean a tissue is not an effective barrier. Shields are used to prevent communicable diseases/germs but also to prevent the exchange of bodily fluids, which a tissue would just soak up.

GiraffesAndDucksSayQuack · 29/09/2009 11:42

well done - you did your best, thats all anyone can do. be kind to yourself x

islandofsodor · 29/09/2009 11:51

Well done for trying, you did your best and in the case of a heart attack unless there is a defib the odds are unfortanetly low.

When I did my first aid course the St Johns told us that the plastic mouth thingy was more for your peace of mind in case the person suddenly vomited which is apparently very common and obviously not very nice rather than any real risk to your health.

They also instilled in us to get some sort of counselling/talk through things with them after an incident. They offer this service for people who train with them, not sure if your first aid providor does.

lulalullabye · 29/09/2009 11:54

Just to let you know, that out of that 5% mentioned earlier who survive a cadiac arrest, 3% of them die in hospital within the next 48hrs.

So, you did a fantastic job !!

ilovemydogandmrobama · 29/09/2009 12:01

well, think I may do a CPR course....

Well done

Original poster

morningstar · 29/09/2009 16:09

I recommend to anyone to do a first aid course they cover CPR , it goes to show you never no when it could save someones life in this case it didn't but one day it might this is one thing in my life im glad I learnt,xx

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