DH wants to go overseas for holidays next year. I can't go, and am sweating at the thought of it

[Saltire]

He's lookingat all these holidays in portugal and Spain and saying "oh we can got ehre".
I can't get on a plane though. I have been on one once and cried the whole time and was physically shaking with it - so much so that the stewrdess actually thought I needed a doctor. That's when i realsied my fear of planes was worse than i realised.
How do others get over their fear of flying?

You need professional help, as it;s obviously a really bad phobia. Can your GP refer you to someone?

If you look on airline websites they all seem to run courses on overcoming fear of flying.I am fairly sure I have seen then=m on both British Airways and Virgin. I think they cost about £100. Would you be willing to try one of those?

With me, its more a fear of crashing than actually flying,IYSWIM

are you ok before you get on? or do you get that anticipatory anxiety? (that's what gets me - the fear before I fly rather than actually flying)

if you are more frightened on the plane, then I would suggest those fear of flying courses might be quite good for you

if, like me, your fear is a lot in your head and is worse in the run up than the actual event, I think that's harder to face tbh and even long counselling might not help (though could so worth looking into - something like CBT)

also GPs do prescribe things like valium/beta blockers for flying as it's one of those fears that's quite hard to beat unless you fly all the time!

how about a ferry? I refuse to get on a plane so if we ever have a holiday (unlikely as I couldn't take dd abroad) I would go somewhere ferries go to.
Last time I flew (when we came back home after living in the US) I had to have tranquillisers!

You see, when I was 18 I witnessed a very bad plane crash. I occasionally now have ngihtmares about it, and it's the thought of a plane coming down with me,DH and Dcs on it that scares me, especially over water, my other big fear!

I tried lots of things, but now use Bachs rescue remedy (although had a bit of a life changing experience which also changed my views).
I know how you feel, after a flight to Australia I was in hospital, and on my return to the Uk in hospital again, basically suffering from the pure trauma of it all.
I could not do long haul again, but fly every year to go on holidays with the dc's and dh.

Try vallium/beta blockers, hypnotherapy, fear of flying courses etc

TheDM - ferry would be ok if I was unable to see the water!I have a fear of drowning, due to it nearly happening at school swimming lessons

you can get a ferry to northern Spain. Might help knowing that.

Saltire, I also hate flying over water, and wont fly at night either. I always choose a day flight and somewhere like Balearics or mainland spain where the flight over water is minimal

I have been in a plane that crashed - not a major crash but a piece of the wing came off.

I hate flying but I also hate the fact that something like that might defeat me iyswim!

Go and speak to the GP. You could knock yourself out if you really wanted to.

Maybe you need to decide whether you want to/are able to tackle your flying phobia, or just come to terms with the fact that you won't/can't, and plan a holiday around it accordingly.

Why not drive to France and go via the EuroTunnell?