DH wants to go overseas for holidays next year. I can't go, and am sweating at the thought of it

[Saltire]

He's lookingat all these holidays in portugal and Spain and saying "oh we can got ehre".
I can't get on a plane though. I have been on one once and cried the whole time and was physically shaking with it - so much so that the stewrdess actually thought I needed a doctor. That's when i realsied my fear of planes was worse than i realised.
How do others get over their fear of flying?

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Maybe you need to decide whether you want to/are able to tackle your flying phobia, or just come to terms with the fact that you won't/can't, and plan a holiday around it accordingly.

Why not drive to France and go via the EuroTunnell?

[foxinsocks]

I have been in a plane that crashed - not a major crash but a piece of the wing came off.

I hate flying but I also hate the fact that something like that might defeat me iyswim!

Go and speak to the GP. You could knock yourself out if you really wanted to.

[mosschops30]

Saltire, I also hate flying over water, and wont fly at night either. I always choose a day flight and somewhere like Balearics or mainland spain where the flight over water is minimal

[TheDMshouldbeRivened]

you can get a ferry to northern Spain. Might help knowing that.

[Saltire]

TheDM - ferry would be ok if I was unable to see the water!I have a fear of drowning, due to it nearly happening at school swimming lessons

[mosschops30]

I tried lots of things, but now use Bachs rescue remedy (although had a bit of a life changing experience which also changed my views).
I know how you feel, after a flight to Australia I was in hospital, and on my return to the Uk in hospital again, basically suffering from the pure trauma of it all.
I could not do long haul again, but fly every year to go on holidays with the dc's and dh.

Try vallium/beta blockers, hypnotherapy, fear of flying courses etc

[Saltire]

You see, when I was 18 I witnessed a very bad plane crash. I occasionally now have ngihtmares about it, and it's the thought of a plane coming down with me,DH and Dcs on it that scares me, especially over water, my other big fear!

[TheDMshouldbeRivened]

how about a ferry? I refuse to get on a plane so if we ever have a holiday (unlikely as I couldn't take dd abroad) I would go somewhere ferries go to.
Last time I flew (when we came back home after living in the US) I had to have tranquillisers!

[foxinsocks]

are you ok before you get on? or do you get that anticipatory anxiety? (that's what gets me - the fear before I fly rather than actually flying)

if you are more frightened on the plane, then I would suggest those fear of flying courses might be quite good for you

if, like me, your fear is a lot in your head and is worse in the run up than the actual event, I think that's harder to face tbh and even long counselling might not help (though could so worth looking into - something like CBT)

also GPs do prescribe things like valium/beta blockers for flying as it's one of those fears that's quite hard to beat unless you fly all the time!

[Saltire]

With me, its more a fear of crashing than actually flying,IYSWIM

[Elk]

If you look on airline websites they all seem to run courses on overcoming fear of flying.I am fairly sure I have seen then=m on both British Airways and Virgin. I think they cost about £100. Would you be willing to try one of those?

[MrsMattie]

You need professional help, as it;s obviously a really bad phobia. Can your GP refer you to someone?