Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Umm I seem to be growing a bollock [TMI]

36 replies

whomovedmychocolate · 17/06/2009 22:39

I noticed this morning. I seem to have a big lump along the hedge in my lady garden. Possibly a molehill.

Am taking it to the doctor in the morning to be poked examined.

Anyone else had a marble sized lump appear overnight and grow during the course of the day? I did wonder if it was another incisional hernia (I had a massive one which was repaired with a mesh last year) but this is in a different place but not far from my cs scar.

OP posts:
wobbegong · 17/06/2009 22:47

Sounds like a hernia to me.
Expect to be asked to cough a lot tomorrow morning.

beaniebaby25 · 17/06/2009 22:49

it could be a gland that's come up, signifying an infection somewhere? I had this once in my lady garden.

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 17/06/2009 22:50

Oh deep joy, shouldn't be hard, I already have a cold. My last hernia was the size of a football - it was major. This is tiny in comparison. I don't understand why something so small could hurt so much!

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 17/06/2009 22:50

bartholin's cyst? alien pregnancy? [hr giger]

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 17/06/2009 22:51

Bit big to be a gland - and growing with exertion which is unusual with infections although I have got a major rash from being bitten by fecking insects in the last 48 hours. So it could be an immune reaction I guess. Ooh that'd be marvelous because it might just go away on it's own!

OP posts:
Pan · 17/06/2009 22:51

"Umm I seem to be growing a bollock.." are you Abetadad?

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 17/06/2009 22:52

Alien pregnancy - I did sit on DD's alien nightlight the other day Aitch

OP posts:
Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 17/06/2009 22:52

No, that would be 'I seem to have mislaid my bollocks' Pan

OP posts:
theDreadPirateRoberts · 17/06/2009 22:53

ROFL @ Pan

Sympathy @ WMMC - with an award for best thread title of the evening

Pan · 17/06/2009 22:55

Seriuosly WMMC - sounds pretty much like a hernia. Pressure on a membrane has led to a breach at a weakened point of a tissue wall. Not serious to deal with. Likely to be associated wit hyour previous in some way and to be meshed again. Dr Pan has diagnosed.

HelloBeastie · 17/06/2009 22:58

I was thinking what Aitch said, Bartholin's cyst.

'Along the hedge in my lady garden' is not the most precise description! Is it literally where a bollock would be?

EyeballsandherSunburntNorks · 17/06/2009 22:59

Would it be unsympathetic to PMSL @ title?

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 17/06/2009 23:00

Why thank you Dr Pan.

I did build a lot of walls last week, perhaps I have done damage (again). Duh! Sadly can't be meshed though - too far down. Would have to be an open repair as have mesh covering 65% of abdomen below naval (yep the last one was a whopper.) Can't risk going any lower in case I ever need surgical access apparently - oh and the fact there is a bloody great pubic bone right there which would stop a mesh healing I would think. GP is going to love me for this one.

OP posts:
Iknowwhatyouvegotithink · 17/06/2009 23:00

Is it a papilloma. I got it when I was pregnant. Nice for me.... It'll be gone soon.

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 17/06/2009 23:03

Don't think it is. I don't have HPV and it's not visible on the skin. There is nothing at all on the skin, papilloma's normally have bubbled edges which are visible on the skin itself. But good namechange.

OP posts:
thell · 17/06/2009 23:06

My fave thread title of all time.

no idea about what's growing in your lady garden though - seriously hope it's not a molehill. fingers crossed for you

Pan · 17/06/2009 23:06

in that case sutering will be messy and vulnerable to tearing again, I'm afraid. There is a method of mixing the two procedures but it will rely on you never having 'rough sex' ever again....your physician will advise.....and laugh behind your back.

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 17/06/2009 23:08

As if I ever did Pan.

My GP regularly laughs at me - he thought the whole H1N1 fiasco hilarious that I didn't bother to call for help.

OP posts:
MamaG · 17/06/2009 23:17

WMMC that is a fantastic thread title. So sorry that you're in pain but you can console yourself wiht hte title-magnificence

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 18/06/2009 10:27

Why I thank you MamaG - I strive to beat your tick related post at all times

Actually just been to the doc. Woke up this morning with three identical lumps All blooming painful. It's an autoimmune reaction apparently to mossie bites elsewhere on my body . They will hopefully go away in a week.

OP posts:
thell · 18/06/2009 15:42

wtf?
aren't our bodies weird

PuppyMonkey · 18/06/2009 15:45

Ouch! I'm sorry I couldn't resist a nose at your thread with such a wonderful title even though I knew I would have no advice to offer. Hope you get better soon.

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 18/06/2009 17:40

Four now, and I have a matching pair of faux bollocks plus one lump in each armpit.

OP posts:
theDreadPirateRoberts · 18/06/2009 19:55

Are you quite sure it's not just bubonic plague? [helpful]

Original poster
whomovedmychocolate · 18/06/2009 20:38

It's not funny, they are even bigger now, I feel like I've got a golf ball under each arm and have develop a quite Clint Eastwoodesque walk

OP posts: