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Original poster

Fag-free future - help keep me on the straight and narrow

41 replies

mollyroger · 14/04/2009 13:33

Currently on day 7, using lozenges, after the most horrendous cough and cold which lasted for 16 days and got me making ''deals with god'' in the long, lonely wee hours, after coughing myself awake

Anyone else recently given up and wish to join me for nagging support etc?

OP posts:

harleyd · 14/04/2009 13:35

im on day 2 and going crazy
im always stopping and starting
maybe this time tho...

well done for getting to day 7

Original poster

mollyroger · 14/04/2009 13:44

I managed to give up for 18 months 2 years ago... Then decided that because iwas so strong, I could allow myself the odd rollie at camping weekends/festivals...and slipped back into old habits....

I keep habing to randomly tidy things to take my mind off - most out of character, heh heh.

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harleyd · 14/04/2009 13:52

i was ok yesterday, struggled last nite, was awake most of the nite thinking about how nice a ciggy would be
house is tidy from top to bottom, my nails are bitten and i feel like crying and smashing something rite now
aarrggghhhh
trying to do it cold turkey, might try the gum if it gets too much

raggedtrouseredphilanthropist · 14/04/2009 13:55

ooh, I am giving up. I am faffing about with patches, but have been out drinking too often and caved a couple of times, so am ready to start day 1 TODAY!
any tips would be gratefully received. My problem isnt so much the giving up, as STAYING given up....
and well done on going a week already!

BlingDreaming · 14/04/2009 14:03

I've posted a few tips before but not for a while, so here are mine - nearly 5 years after I stopped cold turkey and haven't looked back.

But first, remember that each craving only lasts 7 minutes. At first, those 7 minutes are practically back to back, but you can get through that, I promise.

Think of it as "stopping" not "giving up" - giving up is something you do to something you love, not something you hate because it enslaves you and makes you horrible.
Write down the full list of reasons you want to stop and look at it often to remind yourself.
Think about your top reason to stop and then over exagerate the benefits to yourself through treats etc - eg in my case, I hated the smell so I bought flash soaps, body lotions etc and treated myself to a shower/bath with all the trimmings at least once a day but often more so that I could always smell nice.
Do not replace ciggies with chocolate and sweets - see this as an overall opportunity to improve things. Rather, treat yourself to healthy and tasty snacks that you don't normally - I spent an extortionate amount on imported cherries (global warming being the least of my worries for those first few weeks ) and quality cheese, but whatever works for you.

Some people will tell you it's only hard for the first week or so. I say that's crap. I hated things for three weeks and I'd say another three on top were hard. Don't fool yourself, it's difficult. BUT... once you've done it, the satisfaction is endless.

Original poster

mollyroger · 14/04/2009 14:06

oh yeah, it's the staying stopped that's the bugger!

Distraction and changing your routine is the key. For example, on weekdays I am at work and cannot smoke, then I go straight up to get children for school (I never smoke in front of the dc) then home and I don't get a chance to smpoke until the are eating their tea)
But my gods, I love that quiet cig in the garden while they are eating....
So next week, when they are back at school, I will sit down with them and have a cup of tea, so I don't feel tempted.

OP posts:

BlingDreaming · 14/04/2009 14:15

In the beginning, you're right about the distraction but I don't think it works long term because you can't be distracted all the time and so the moment you're back in a situation where normally you'd smoke, the craving is overwhelming and also somewhat surprising.

Interestingly, while I still had the odd craving to smoke while drinking, in many ways, it was the easiest one to stop - or rather, the fastest. I think it's because smoking is, among other things, a habit so you literally have to break the habit and create a new one that doesn't involve smoking. And as I was young, single and working in PR when I stopped, there was a LOT of drinking and a LOT of opportunities to get into the habit of not smoking while drinking.

raggedtrouseredphilanthropist · 14/04/2009 14:20

its thos symbolic fags isnt it - like when ds goes down for his nap, or his bedtime. I think I need to substitute somthing there (mnetting? ). I REALLY want one now, even with a patch on, and I KNOW its all psychological as now is the time I can actually have one as ds is asleep. Otherwise I will have to wait til 7.
ho hum.
and drink! unluckily all my drinking friends are smokers, so that one is REALLY hard to resist.

BlingDreaming · 14/04/2009 14:23

Ragged - that's it exactly. But... in the beginning, substitute that treat with something else and don't feel bad about it. Heck, we all need a treat, just change what it is.

Original poster

mollyroger · 14/04/2009 14:30

see, I already have huge intake of fruit and veg, and have trained myself off sweets/chocs etc so i'm not too worried about that.

I know I have an addictive personality, so I can forsee a major chewing gum (or something) addiction looming.

Have a big party this afternoon/evening, and that will be hard tbh, as everyone will be smoking

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BlingDreaming · 14/04/2009 14:36

Where? This is where you need to revel in the smoking ban. If everyone is smoking outside, make sure to wear your absolute most gorgeous outfit that would be too cold for outside - actively enjoy not having to put your coat on and cover it up (or shoes, or whatever).

Feel absolutely shameless about pouring the last of the good wine into your glass while they're gone (or nabbing the last snack or whatever).

Do whatever it takes to find being inside not smoking better than being outside.

Good luck!

harleyd · 14/04/2009 14:37

back to back 7minute cravings..you're not joking there

BlingDreaming · 14/04/2009 14:41

It gets easier. Really. It just takes time.

Oh, and check out the NHS stop smoking website - it used to be surprisingly good.

Also, don't feel bad if you feel obsessed for at least a week. I swear I got no work done for the first three days at least.

Original poster

mollyroger · 15/04/2009 10:17

morning.
Well I drank too much but managed to survive the party - despite it being mostly outside and therefore people smoking constantly - and combined with a bbq and firepit (sitting round a fire is a bit of a weak point for me with fags. And I note that it is 10.15 and I haven't had my first lozenge yet. Hoorah!

OP posts:

RubyrubyrubyRubis · 15/04/2009 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mollyroger · 15/04/2009 10:20

that might be a pun too far even for me!

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raggedtrouseredphilanthropist · 16/04/2009 08:47

molly-well done! that is really fantastic!

I have failed miserably
I had a pack of cigarettes still in the house, and had one on Mon night, then none on Tues until the evening, then smoked all day on Weds
I HATE smoking so much, but feel like I am denying myself. There is always a reason to keep smoking, though of COURSE I know they are just excuses.
Right, gonna leave it a couple of days then try again....

ourlot · 16/04/2009 08:55

well done mollyroger. First time I gave up I did 3 months and felt like that meant I could have the odd one ha ha! Gave up a few more times, but have been fag free for about 4 years now. When I'm out and tempted I sniff ashtrays - disgusting! Puts me right off.
Bad luck ragged, it sounds like you need to convince yourself that it's not about denying yourself the fags, but giving yourself a healthy life - or if that doesn't work can you put fag money in a pot and buy new shoes, chocolate or something? That way you still get a guilty pleasure? You'll get there in the end I'm sure.

Snorbs · 16/04/2009 09:19

I stopped smoking a year ago. The first couple of weeks are the hardest but it really does get easier. I recommend reading and re-reading Alan Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking". It's not exactly well written but it works. It will help you to see cigarettes in a different and much less attractive light.

southeastastra · 16/04/2009 09:32

i've been off them for two and a half weeks now, though am relying on patches.

surprised myself as how i've done it! 20years 20 a day smoker .

Original poster

mollyroger · 16/04/2009 11:40

I found that book really worked for me last time Snorbs...when I stopped for 18 months.

I also realised there were many times when I was vile to the DC because they were 'preventing' me from getting my fix. So I would get really shrewish and snappish. That's the image I am hanging onto.
I managed to hide it from the boys for 10 years Then got rumbled by the 10-year-old. Who was devastated.

And perversely, I haven't told him that I'm quitting. In case I fail, I suppose.

Well, yesterday I went (unconsiously) from 3pm until 10.30 this morning without wanting a lozenge. The NHS woman said it was recommended to stay on nicotene-replacement for 3 months. Sigh. They last for half an hour and taste wierd for ages, which means I keep forgetting and not being to eat when I want to...

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raggedtrouseredphilanthropist · 16/04/2009 15:08

I did use that book too, with the cd - I managed to stop just like that, but for some reason was waking at 1am and totally unable to get back to sleep again. I would be awake til about 3.30 then up at 6.30! Then I realised it was because I was using the cd before I went to bed, and falling asleep to it. And at the end he says:
as I count down from 10, you will begin to wake up our of the trance and be bright and alert ready to carry on your day (or something)
then he counts down from 10, getting louder until he bellows 3,2,1.
I think that might have been what was waking me up!! So I stopped.
Might try it again though, listening to the cd at another time in the day.

Kammy · 16/04/2009 16:50

Brilliant advice all round and I just want to add my encouragement to you all.

I've been smoke free for 7 years after being a heavy (20+ a day) smoker for 20 years

Benefits are many, better,teeth,hair skin, general health, no 'cats bottom' mouth when you get older, less washing, cleaning, more money...

It's not easy but it's one of the best things you can do for your health, so keep it up! Definatley try and see it as stopping and not denying yourself something. Sometimes a glass of water really helps a craving.And the last thing that really helped me was to put the fag money aside each day and at the end of the week buy something nice for yourself or have a treat.

pointydog · 16/04/2009 16:59

good luck molly and southeast!

Original poster

mollyroger · 28/04/2009 19:14

really struggling today for some reason, in terms of food. I just want to eat and eat and eat. Have been trying to snack on fruit but since lunchtime, I've been nibbling on all sorts. Talk about oral fixation!

How's anyone else doing?
SEA?
Harley?

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