13 year old DD has a fear of choking. She is starving herself.

[Goober]

Going to Dr tomorrow.
She is frightenning me as she is losing weight and was skinny to start with.

She started having panic attacks 2 years ago.
With persistance and the help of my very good friend who is a hypnotherapist we got her back into a normal routine.
She has always been a picky eater, but now won't eat even her favourite foods.
This has become a real problem in the last month.
She will vomit.
And drink water instead of eating when at the table.

oh goober.........good luck with getting her help. I know how worrying girls can be about their weight anyway without having fears mixed in too.

can your friend help again do you think??

lots of .

I'm sure that friend will help again as she said she would.
Have not taken her to a Dr before about this as I didn't want to overly concern DD, but now it is serious. Every bone in her body is prominent. Her skin is bad. Her digestion is bad. She started her period 6 weeks ago and it hasn't returned. All related, I think.

Oh no, this is a psychological disorder and there is only one way to deal with this and thats what you are doing.

My ds choked on a chip last year, and I had to do the hymlic, so I understand how scary the fear is, I get scared every time my dc eat alone now.

All you can do is reassure her, keep her healthy on the right additional vitamins, and make sure you push for clinical help.

Hope she is happier soon.

I think the trigger was having some time off school a month ago, she was scared to return to school, it was a battle to make her go back. She started the not-eating thing then as she said she was frightenned she would choke.

don;t panic too much about her period. It may be related, but DD1 started hers last january and then didn;t have another one until april. very common according to the docs as I took her in about them as DD1 was worried to that something was dreadfully wrong.

in fact, DD1 also was having panic attacks this time last year and was also having weight issues......her was fear over the car accident, but once she voiced the fears to the doctor, and the doctor said it was actually very normal to have fears like that, and that more people than she would ever meet have fears, then DD1 relaxed about it. It kind of broke the 'spell' being held over her IYGWIM.

she was referred to a teenage councilor (sp?), which in fact (and to my shock) turned out to be a social worker, but I have to say it couldn;t have worked out better. for my DD, just knowing that it was ok to feel like that, that she wasn;t going mad, and she wasn;t going to die (another big fear), made her calm enough to start getting better on her own. by the time we met the councilor she was pretty much back to the DD we know and love.

you are doing exactly the right things

She had 4 days off school with sickness and diahrea.
I do give her smoothies, she doesn't like them that much.
I suppliment her vitamins but it is getting harder for her to take that too. Have started giving her the Superdrug kids vitamins that taste like sweets. She takes a bite, it lasts for ages!
This morning she had nothing to eat, even though I put cerial in front of her, a glass of water and her vitamins.
For lunch she will eat her sandwich (cheddar in 1 slice of brown bread) and her carton of orange juice. She has 2 pieces of fruit and some corn snacks but she won't eat them.
Tonight I will give her prawn curry with rice. And I expect she will play with it for an hour then leave it.
Have decided to weigh her plate before and after meals to see if she HAS had any.

Will she drink milk/milkshakes? That is a good way to get some nutrition and calories in.

Or foods like good quality ice cream, chocolate-anything that goes down easily without lumps.

This obviously does not address the fear, for which she does need professional help, but will get some goodness into her in the meantime.

Make sure the doctor understands how little she is actually getting down.

I think I will start to make notes of how little she actually consumes.
If nothing else I can show DD the difference between what she has and what is required.

Keep an eye on her internet use too, there are some dreadful websites that encourage not eating

How scary for you Goober. Hope the doc helps.

Would she have the odd spoonful of peanut butter? A friend of mine was exercising a lot and losing more weight than was good for her and her aerobics instructor suggested she have spoonfuls of peanut butter every so often. For your DD it would get fats and sugar into her but she wouldn't be faced with a big meal.

What about if you put her meals on a small plate so she is not faced with a huge meal? Little and often would be good for her.

I hope you get the support and help from the GP that you both need. If you don't, make another appointment with someone else before you leave.

Would she like cakes/muffins/biscuits? Get some in the post to you if would help. Feel silly offering but so want to help.

Did you see my post above about trying foods which will go down easily like ice cream, milkshakes, soup etc?

She is probably as worried as you about the weight loss-if it is as you describe, it is an eating disorder but not caused by a desire to lose weight. Her fear of choking will actually make it hard for her to swallow-the muscles go into spasm when she tries to do so and panics.

Try to keep as calm as possible about it with her-but as I said make sure the GP fully understands how little she is taking in.

Have you looked on the Young Minds website there might be some help there.

How awful for you both. On a slightly different note, someone I know (an adult) suffered from a swallowing / choking problem and turned out to have a condition called oesophageal ring (narrow lower oesophagus). This was only diagnosed after years of doctors thinking it was a psychological porblem and significant weight loss but was pretty easily remedied. Worth asking about?

Goober, I guess you are worried that your dd has an eating disorder and is dressing it up as being scared of choking? Some sufferers do this, they make excuses for their lack of eating by citing other problems (allergies a classic example).

However, there is a condition which is a genuine fear of choking. I'm sorry, I don't know what it is called. I remember watching a documentary about people with various phobias being treated with cbt and there was a woman who had this choking phobia on it.

Good luck with your visit to the GP. Fwiw I would urge you not to be placated or fobbed off if you think GP is not taking you seriously enough and referring your dd for specialist treatment immediately. There was an interesting item on Radio 5 Live this morning about GPs not responding properly to patients who present with eating disorders which I would recomment listening to in order to fortify your position.

What about soup for your dd? If she refuses foods like this, icecream, milkshakes etc where the risk of choking is surely nil, then you need to suspect that she is trying to restrict her intake of food and therefore has a full-blown eating disorder.

Would you believe it? She has just eaten 3 pancakes.
She was concerned when I said I was taking her to the Dr tomorrow and got upset when I told her how frightenned I have been.
The battle starts again tomorrow breakfast time.
Yes, she loves cakes, we bake together.

thats great, viva la pancake day!