13 year old DD has a fear of choking. She is starving herself.

[Goober]

Going to Dr tomorrow.
She is frightenning me as she is losing weight and was skinny to start with.

Howdy y'all!
I'm happier today.
Yesterday I spoke at length with my hyptotherapist friend, who knows DD well.
She explained that most eating disorders are a cry for help/attention. She thinks her problems stepped up a notch when her period started 6 weeks ago. She thinks that she resents the changes within herself and is not only punnishing herself but DH and I too.
Friend advised that choices were given to DD regarding what she ate, NOT eating is no longer an option.
So DD came home from school yesterday, I didn't disguss food, but as I was cooking for the family I asked her what she would EAT for tea.....NOT what she would like. At first she mumbled about having like everybody else was having. I told her to choose what she would EAT and I would happily get it. She chose pasta bolognaise as she knew I had some in the freezer which I made last week.
It was in a tub with a large DH sized portion in, I added some grated cheese, at her say-so. She managed about 1/6 of it. We said nothing while she ate, didn't look at her, just left her alone. When she put her fork down, I said well done and took it away. She then ate a Muller crunch corner. ALL of it!
Breakfast this morning was the same usual anxious time for her and she hardly had anything, but I am really happy about last night.

I bought her some Farleys ruscs this morning. Its worth a try.

Her apointments to see a psychologist has not come through yet.

Thats great news Goober. What a good idea asking what she would eat. Maybe giving her some control as you did is the way to build her confidence and get things back on track.
I had eating problems when I was a teen and looking back it was definitely related to control.
You sound like you are doing all the right things not belittling her probems and showing her you are on her side.
I hope the improvements continue....

I'm really quite excited that things are getting better.
I know that lots of these cases can have good days and bad days but I hope we have a new understanding that will help her find herself again.

Sounds like you handled it really well.

well done Goober and dd! Hope this is the start of an upward trend.

Goober - your friend is right. It certainly sounds like the big physcial change your DD is going through may have been the trigger.

I'm pleased to report that DD and I have had a discussion. She wants to sort out the problem, says she hates feeling like this. We both cried and cuddled lots.
This weekend she has eaten 3 meals a day, with snacks. They were small meals but....whatever. I am as happy as can be!
Tomorrow will be interesting, back at school. One day at a time.

Brilliant news! And well done for handling it so well so that it didn't become a battle between you.
Long may it continue!