Dad diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Can anyone give me some hope?

[MistleSQUONKandWine]

They have found secondary cancer in his liver but haven't as yet found the primary one. They think it is probably in his stomach and will do tests in the coming weeks to try and find it.

They said that his liver cancer is inoperable, which he is taking as they mean that there is nothing they can do for him and he's started saying goodbyes.

Have told him it is a bit early for planning his funeral, at least until the docs have given him more information.

Can anyone with any knowledge of this advise me please? I want to know what to expect and I'm a bit frightened to google it.

Thank you.
xx

Oh Squonky. I'm in a very similar boat sweetheart. No advice really, but plenty of love and prayers for you. Will find link to my thread for you - lots of helpful posts on there. xx

Here.

oh thank you lilred!

Sorry to see you're going through this as well. I will check out your thread

so sorry Squonk.

sending supportive vibes.

thank you both.

Lilred - thanks for that link, it was helpful, and it helps to see that other people have gone through similar.

I think I'm asking the impossible, really, I want someone to tell me that everything's going to be all right and the docs got it wrong and he's got the flu or something.

It does help doesn't it, in a strange way. I can get through this and so can you.

Be strong. x

you too.

xx

I am so sorry.

Have lost 4 GPs to cancer, one only 3 years ago and it is such an awful disease.

So sorry, Squonk

I don't know anything about liver cancer, but what I know of cancer in general is that once it has metastasized (jumped from one organ to another), all treatment can do is to delay the inevitable. Even if you successfully treat those organs, cancer comes up in other places.

I'm so sorry to say this

No, don't be sorry, I was looking for some sort of an answer. Twas what I suspected.

It's a bit of a bugger that it's Christmas, I got the impression that they'd have had him in today or tomorrow for more tests but because of the date it has to wait till afterwards; so at the moment we're all a bit in limbo, sort of guessing what it all means.

Nobody wants to actually put into words "how long?" but I think it's what we're all thinking.

psychobabble - that's quite promising, thanks for that.

New generation cancer drugs are quite miraculous, by the way. NHS has also recently accepted patients' rights to top up there free care with privately funded drugs.

I think your father has a much better chance now that he would have even five years ago.

THEIR free care

So sorry Squonk - what a terrible time of year for such news. My dad died in 2007 from a multi-site cancer including the liver (the primary was skin cancer). Like CoteDAzur said, we were told that once it moved from one site to another they could only buy him time rather than cure him. We also found that the drs were reluctant to give us a definite timeline as there are so many factors involved - they said anything between a month and six. In the end Dad lived for several months longer than the best-case prediction with the help of radiotherapy and chemotherapy. He went through phases of totally giving up and saying goodbye, but also believing that he was going to survive. Try to demand all the help possible - Macmillan nurses, drop in centres at the hospital, day-visit hospices (for complimentary therapies like acupuncture and massage which helped dad), community nurses etc.
I found this website helpful when I was trying to get my head around the diagnosis cancerbackup

Thank you babypringle, that was a very useful and helpful post.

Have had a trawl round the macmillan site and will give dad lots of their details when I speak to him.

I am a bit cross that they gave him this news with no back-up, no mac nurse, no appointment for treatment, they have just told him to go away and have a nice christmas!

Anyhoo... he seems to be okay at the moment, I will go and see him as soon as I can and then I'll know more.

Thanks for all your messages.

xx

Squonk - have only just seen this thread

Thinking about you and your family. xxxx

Squonk I'm so sorry pet

You must be in shock,

From what I gather, secondaries in the liver don't necessarily mean the end is nigh iyswim.

I had a boyfriend who had bowel cancer and they found metastases on or in his liver,

he had some treatment, not sure what - I thought he would die but he is still larking about 6 years later, travelling the world, apparently fine. I don't think he is cured exactly but he certainly isn't very unwell.

I hope you have some encouraging news and plenty of time with your Dad, still xxxx

squonkalicious

so so sorry.

Squonk

So sorry squonk. It's so hard to deal with, never mind with that lack of support. Has he been to see his GP? Mine has been a tower of strength and has pushed things through where necessary.

Can I just thread hijack, Flihgtattendant, and say thank you so much for your post. I have had bowel cancer with metastases on my liver and my doctors have said they expect to "cure" me (obv no guarantees) but I have never heard of anybody who has actually survived secondary cancer. Your post has made my day. Thank you .

I'm sorry squonk .

Oh ThingOne

I'm really pleased, especially as you've already been told you should be cured, I think that's more than he was told iyswim...I will await the day you're clear with much excitement! I always think of you when I see you on here, and wonder how it's all going.

Take care xx

Inoperable doesn't mean untreatable as others have said. Don't google - you'll scare yourself rigid! That's not just because he has cancer either - you could google ingrowing toenail and be scared to death by it! Your father should be under an oncologist and get access to a specialist nurse as well to help him make sense of things. It sounds like a serious situation but don't lose heart 'alls not lost that is in danger' Wishing you all well.