anybody still up who would be willing to talk sense at me please?

[icantdoit]

regular poster, different name, had a terrible time at work night out tonight. Just need to talk sense and see it rationally

go on then - i am the most rational person on mumsnet - ok mebbe not - but guarenteed honesty.

hurry up i want to talk at you

shit shit shit.

in the interest of making sense i will stick some of it in here anyway.

I'm baffled as to how - but a work colleague, has somehow worked out (he gave me explanations but i'm not sure if i buy it) that I'm pregnant. I haven't told a soul. And have not shown anything at work that would lead anyone to be suspicious. Allegedly the thing that made him get it is that he knows me well, and I was driving to the work's christmas thing - and obv not drinking.
I think I trust him, he's usually pretty hot on confidentiality stuff. Am just very bothered that he's managed to work it out. Didn't want to tell anybody.

so did you confirm it

and why is it nan issue

and thanks custy.
hope i've not scared you off

hehe Custardo - you got there before me - was going to say the same thing

sorry i'm slow - i'm upset

awwww why - am not sure i understand why its upsetting

k. gist is that I have big problems, have had masses of treatment to carry the dc I've got, and a history of miscarriage as long as your arm. My head is truly messed up over this

oops sorry - didn't realise you were upset about it

don't be sorry

ma head is up ma arse

right, i think i get it - so the pregnacy is a good thing, but you are very woried ( naturally considering the history) so you wanted to keep it secret becuase you downt want people fawning all over you saying "congrats!" when you might miscarry.

now this bloke has guessed and you think it will all come out and that people will saycongrats and that you will misscarry and it will all become a huge drama at work?

sodding hell. am blardy mortified. having somebody i work with every day makes the whole thing real. i'd much rather be ignoring it for a couple more months yet. Y'know that feeling when you were a kid and you wanted the ground to open up and make you disappear, cos the teacher had told your mum you'd been naughty ... well it's like that

spot on custard

to make it just a tad more complicated
I'm the boss

oooo - that does make it rather more complicated

ermmm no advice I'm afraid - but hopefully he won't say anything.

It freaked me out when a male work colleague guessed too, but again it was someone who knew me well. No-one else guessed. Other things that can give it away are things like skin tone/colour, a sort of "pregnancy bloom" - is he married/children?

Don't let it bother you too much, at least he's good at keeping a secret!

that gives you a position of power.

if i was in your situation - i would outright lie.

i would call the guy into the office and tell him that you thought you were pregnant, but it transpires you aren't - you would rather it not be mentioned.

thanks for reassurance mbw. "freaked me out" is exactly right. And a sodding bloke! There are women with five kids in the flippin group, who wouldn't have got anywhere near the idea.
Yes he's married, and they're hoping to start a family very soon.
Bugger him.

nice one custy. unfortunately am a shit lie-teller. and he's my deputy so i've not really got the scare-factor He just wants to be supportive i think. Blackmail may be better, come to think about it

oh dear!!

i need convincing that it is Not A Bad Thing that somebody knows.

Even when it truly feels like it

my mood is shite, i am very grumpy and more than a bit depressed and so my powers of logic have gone in the bin.

its a good thing that he knows i think if you want him to keep a confidence you might want to tell him that in a gushing kind of way - explain your circumstances briefly and thank him for being a confidant - guilting him into silence mightbe a good thing

yep - guilt trip and a nice bit of guilt-blackmail would be the way to go