shaky and tearful

[mooseloose]

Hi, just wondered if anyone has any bright ideas to make me feel more settled, without any pills. My son has been in and out of hospital the last few weeks, and I have tried to juggle work too, but it's ended up that I was obviously doing too much, thinking about too much, and worrying too much, and now I feel rotten. Cried at work Monday, and was told I shouldn't really be in work in this state. So I have took the rest of the week off, on their advice. Feel a bit of a prat getting in such a state at work.
So now I feel trembly, butterflies in stomach, had a headache (migraine yesterday but ok today), and worried about something, but I don't know what. So today I am going to chill (no hospital today, ds at school). But I just feel horrible and on the verge of tears. I'm sure its something short term. But I wondered what i can do to help myself. I bubbly cheerful usually. Don't know whether i should go to work next week, or get a note. DH tells me I'm fine.

I get like this sometimes (and for much more trivial reasons than the horrible situation you're having to deal with - hope your DS is ok). I call these panic attacks, although I'm not sure if this is what they are. When I get them I try and tackle it rationally as the feelings were starting to ruin my life. I have to talk to myself (gosh, that makes me sound like i'm mad!) but it actually works...try and tell yourself that all is ok and that this time next year, you won't even remember that you felt bad. It sounds silly but positive thinking is an amazing cure. Allow yourself to have a good cry as well as it helps to get rid of all those bad emotions.

Have you tried a herbal remedy - St John's Wort for example? Completely natural (with a dash of alcohol in it I think?!!). Works for lots of people.

Hope you're feeling more positive soon. Keep us posted on progress

Thanks - I feel stupid for getting in such a state. I just roared at work (something at work triggered it off), so perhaps that was the catalyst I needed. I felt i had been coping ok, and ironically it was work that has made me bad. I was in such a state, and I feel like 'my nerves are bad' now. Will have a look at the St johns wort .

In these situations, i hunker down and refuse to think about tomorrow. I only deal with what I have to today.

Hope things improve.

I've suffered from anxiety and had feelings similar to yours. It can be very helpful to take a break from work, although sometimes work can be a good distraction if you're having anxious thoughts.

A lot of anxiety symptoms are caused by over-breathing and muscular tension. There are breathing exercises you can do, or use a meditation/relaxation CD.

Hope you feel better soon, but please - if you don't, will you please see your GP. There are lots of treatments for anxiety, many of which don't include pills. Personally, I've found acupuncture amazingly effective. BTW, I'm not anti-pills myself and have used medication for short periods.

Oh, and it's not your DH's job to tell you how you're feeling. You need to decide for yourself whether the rest is helping, or whether you'd be happier in your normal routine.

I have bouts of feeling like this. It's when I line up a few treats (usually from Lush), light the fire, put on a film, tell dh we're eating out or that he's cooking or that I'm off to bed for an hour etc.... You need to do a few things that'll make you feel good to help balance it out. Take some more time off if that's what you need. But generally don't pressure yourself to feel better soon. That'll happen if you allow it to.

Can you go out and treat yourself to a nice new bubble bath/body lotion and have a pamper session?
Doesn't have to be expensive (although LUSH is fabby), it'll just let you unwind a bit.

Can you go to see your GP and have a chat? Sounds as if you may need referral for counselling/letting off steam?

MN here anyway

Hi, i've just been signed off my work for the last month due to anxiety. I suffer from health anxiety about myself and my kids and 4 months ago i noticed my son had a lump on his back, this started of investigations into it and the whole thing took 3 months to get an answer. The whole time i was worried sick but managed to put a brave face on it, went into work, did all the usual things that i had to do but it was very difficult, but i was "coping" or so i thought. After we found out that the lump was'nt a serious issue i felt huge relief but then i started to feel really anxious and down again and this led to me being signed off my work.

I usually enjoy my work but i just could'nt cope. I'm getting CBT for my anxiety and also take anti-d's. I went back to work on Wednesday and felt fine, having the time off definately helped me to feel better.

If you feel that you can't cope with work then you should take the time off and not worry about it, your health is the most important thing and if a couple of weeks off work makes you feel better then it can't be wrong. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Take another week off work at least for compassionate leave and if necc another for stress. Go for a walk in the open air today. Don't google ANYTHING!
Eat well, don't drink more than a glass or two of wine MAX, book yourself a massage if you can afford it. Before bed, have a warm bath, keep a diary to write down all the POSITIVE things going on right now (eg your ds laughed at something, the doctors are kind and fab, the sun was out, you ate some delicious grapes..) and fill it in before bed. Go to be early. Drink herb teas and cut out most caffeine. Do something nice for yourself every day. Chat to a good sympathetic but cheery friend.
Good luck. it is SO stressful if your child is ill or has anything in anyway wrong with them, and medical investigations are simply awful so be nice to yourself, and don't expect too much.

Hi, thanks for all your kind words, it's really nice that people will pop up on here when you need them! I had noticed that my 'nice cup of tea' had seemed to make me more jittery. Had a bad head again today, and shaky. Some palpitations too, but not as many as the other day. Tried a bath, but ds bawled to come in too! So it wasn't that relaxing

How are you feeling now?
Things any better?

Hi, thanks for asking. Few tears this morning. felt I couldn't breathe. Just chilling today. About to do some ironing. Headache is gone so that has made me feel better in myself.

I'll keep an eye on thread just in case you need a blether
You're doing really well

Still not feeling better. Going docs in morn. Have been having to phone work every morn, and getting myself worked up about that. Today my legs are like jelly, got a headache, and my chest feels tight. Just feel horrible. Not me at all. I know I need to relax and chill, but can't. Wonder what doc will say/do?

you sound so stressed. Stress gives lots of odd physical symtoms.
Counselling is a really good option in my experience. Just talking things through and learning coping mechanisms really helps.

Drink plenty of water. Sounds daft but if you're having panic attacks then your body is dumping lots of adrenaline in your system and you can end up with a dry mouth and feeling sick etc.
Avoid caffeine.

Take each day one step at a time. So breakfast first, even just a bit of toast if you have wobbly tummy syndrome.
Then school run, come home and sit down with the radio on for a few minutes and perhaps a fruit tea or warm blackcurrant drink.
then do a little housework....
and so on.

Try and get your hubby to give you and hour to yourself when he gets home as well so that you can have a bath on your own with a book or just go and lie on your bed with a magazine etc.

try and eat regularly even if you don't feel like it. If you're hungry it can make you feel worse.

I'm sure the doctor will be really helpful. Stress is so common they are really geared up for it now and there are lots of ways to cope without tablets.
If he signs you off you won't have to ring work every day so that will help as well.

take care. x x

Sorry you are going through such a rough patch.

I can really recommend buying this (the book or the CD 'Overcoming Nervous Exhaustion)

www.drclaireweekes.co.uk/audio.htm

I know it looks really old fashioned but she really talks common sense having suffered herself (she was an overworked doctor) and she proposes some really good coping strategies

Good luck

Thanks. I'm hoping she will give me a note for a week off work to try and pull myself together. I don't know how easy that will be - she may tell me to get back to work and keep myself busy? I am in such a state, and feel cross that i am like this. I'm so laid back and cheerful usually, never off work ill. Think I've had just one or two days this year.
Mums do juggle things don't they, it's what they do, and I'm used to that - I have three little boys, but I've never been like this before.

I think tiredness and stress can be cumulative and retrospective (ie your body is allowing you to feel it now that your son is out of hospital and you no longer have to be in A1 coping mode).

Combining work and looking after 3 boys must be instrinsically stressful anyway - even harder when one of them is ill - so don't blame yourself for feeling out of sorts. Agree with Lulumama when she says the more you put pressure on yourself to "pull yourself together" the longer your recovery your be. Your body is telling you you need a bit of time-out!!

I know that's not easy with three little ones around though. (I personally think that that is one of the most stressful things about parenthood - the fact that your home is no longer that dependable haven where you can recover and recuperate.)

It's good you are going to the doc who will be able to rule out any possible physical problems (I dunno, thryroid, lack of B vits etc?.? and give you some help.

If your instincts are that you need a week off to "cocoon" and recover then I would try and push for that. Tell her that you've only had one or two days off this year. I'm sure she'll be sympathetic.

I hope you feel much better soon and in the meantime, have you thought of trying any complementary therapies?

How did you get on with GP?

kalms can be helpfull.Sleep also helps.Of course if you have a little 1 2 look after you must feel like you have to be on guard .Try to get some vit c down u .Keep well i know panic atacks are very scary.Fresh fruit even if it is only orange juice.The weather dosent help.GOOD LUCK HOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER SOON.XX

how are you feeling today MooseLoose?

Hi, Thanks for asking after me, I appreciate that. I have been to Doctors and she has given me some paperwork to read about anxiety , like a self help guide really. She said she didn't want to give me any medication as I need to sort this out and manage it myself. I didn't want pills anyway. I cried when I went in, and told her about feeling shaky, legs like jelly, panicc, palpitations etc. She gave me a sick note for one week. I was hoping for longer really, as i cant imagine being up to work next Tuesday, but she said no more than a week, and she will review it next week, on Wednesday.

Hi mooseloose - I am so sorry you are feeling like this.

Have you written down how you are feeling, get it all out and then each day you can start to see how things do improve (hopefully) and gain confidence that how you felt a week ago is a long way from how you feel today? At least when you write things they become real and you have to deal with them. Also, some things are not so worrying once written down as they were when they were in your head. Nobody tells you that you are OK either, you just have the black and white facts to deal with, no opinions.

Take one day at a time, perhaps set yourself a small goal each day and reward yourself for hitting that goal.

Have you tried rescue remedy too? It is very good and you cannot OD I don't think!

Hi blue. shaky again today, but not feeling so panicked. Been to hospital with ds, and ok, just teary. So i think the sick note has took the pressure off. My mum upset me last night over something silly, and I just cried after. DH gave me short thrift though. He thinks I just need to pullmyself together. ok at the mo, bit on the edge and shaky but coping. Doc says St johns wort no good for me, but she suggested Kalms are ok.