Am I an alcoholic?

[problematic]

I drink behind my husbands back and hide it from him.....

We don't really do the boys/girls night out thing either and never have, even before we were married but Dh would never tell me I couldn't go. I do like to pop over to my neighbours house though and have a girly couple of hours putting the world to rights over a bottle of wine.

Thats exactly what I like to do but he wont have it...

This isn't about alcohol. It's about control.

It is becoming quite obvious to me that this is all about control and not the drinking...........

sorry but he's treating you like a child. Won't let you go? fine, don't let him go fishing or whatever. You are as entitled as he is to downtime.

He'll be as scared as you are about losing him about losing you. He's been there before don't forget. Sounds like he's throwing out the doomsday scenario to stop you even thinking about being independent.

Sorry - I don't mean to upset you about dh. But do you realistically want to still be having this conversation in 10 years time? 20? Needs some hard thoughts maybe?

Hard to accept alicat, but you hit the nail on the head, I might just follow your advice and not allow him to go fishing.... Tell him I dont want to be married to someone who buggers off all day and leaves me to cook, clean and look after the kids......

good luck Problematic. hope you get it sorted. (am still jealous you get that precious hour!!)

Could it be that your ds has a problem with alcohol Problematic? I only ask as, although I totally agree with what has been said about his controlling behaviour towards you, sometimes ex-alcoholics try to blame a partner to deflect their own drinking.

My xh used to control me in the same way and was drinking barrel loads behind my back (well in the garage actually, but I found about 50 empty cans stacked up behind the garage door when I eventually kicked him out, very crafty). He tried to point the finger at me and I very rarely drink these days (now chocolate is another matter!).

I would do as suggested and give yourself a couple of days free a week (Gov health guidelines), but rest assured, you are by no means an "alcoholic".

Also very jealous of your free hour!!!!!