Is this PND again?

[Fedup2]

Today I have felt absolutely terrible. I have ds1 who is 4 and very naughty and dd2 whose 1 and very clingy, all day i have felt like crying and cannot be bothered to so much as pick a tissue up off the floor, i have had to stop myself a couple of times from shouting at ds1 and hence sent him to bed early for trying to pick her sister up by her neck. I was diagnosed with reactive depression when dd2 was a couple of months old due to lack of help, it is just my dh and me with no other help and sometimes dh is more of a hinderance than a help. I got bad PND with ds1 but this wasn't diagnosed until he was 5months. I just feel as tho I cannot be bothered and want to lie on the sofa and eat all day, i don't feel like this every day but do tend to feel quite peeved often during the day, dh says he doesn't know what to do and leaves it at that doesn't offer any other support, i really don't know what to do and cannot be bothered to go out of the house sometimes which I know is bad for the kids. I don't know where to turn next and we have to wait 3 weeks for an appointment at our doctors.

fedup2, glad to hear you got an appointment and your doctor took you seriously. Well done.

Thanks, the thing is even though I know it is an illness, why do I feel like i've let everyone down, I also feel as though I have to put on a front for everyone (except Dh and my best mate), I think it could be something to do with the fact that there always has and always will be a stigma attached to anyone with a mental illness. I absolutely dread getting up in a morning because I don't know what sort of day I'm going to have. When Dh is at work I have no help whatsoever, his mum and sister only help when they want to and most of my neighbours either work full-time or have young children and to a fault I am very fussy who I will leave them with. I just hope these tablets kick in soon and I can start enjoying the kids again and stop being such a misery as I'm convinced people will soon get fed up.

You feel this way because you are depressed! It is a catch 22 situation isn't it! Just remember, we don't live in the '50's, mental illness is not a stigma like it used to be. A good proportion of the population have suffered from it - you are not a lone loony wandering around

Good luck, and we are all here to chat when you need us. I am feeling a bit low today, but I am hoping that it is just PMT, rather than my pills not working. Keep your chin up, and try to treat yourself to some 'me' time this weekend if you can, even if it is only have a scented bath with a few tealights. Thinking of you.

Help, I've never felt this low before. I got told with these ad's that i would feel worse before i felt better, but I feel really bad. Both kids are in bed and dh is at work and i feel on edge, nervy and can't stop crying, thinking about going bed but don't know if i could sleep.

Have had a bad day though as both children have been ratbags

Has anyone else felt like this on new medication

fedup2, sorry you've had a bad day. From what people have said about anti depressants, they take time to work and it's only been 6 days or so hasn't it? Sounds like you had a hard day too which can't have helped. Sorry, I don't know anything about your new medication but I expect someone else will.

What pills are you on?

I'm on 50mg sertraline per day. i wanted to stay on cipralex but at the minute the highest dosage is 10mg. She mentioned Prozac but I said no as I've not heard many good things about it.

i just can't help feeling I'm failing my kids, a woman across the road has two and they are not two different in age ranges to mine and she says she has never felt depressed once and here is me on my second bout of PND, when will it ever end?

You are NOT failing your kids. You are ill. You are allowed to feel like this. Most people do not feel this way, but a large amount DO. I am currently suffering from my third bout of depression, which is not PND, but is always triggered by stress, and I don't know what children are if not stressful! Make time for yourself, and allow the pills to start working. Accept all the offers of assistance you get from all trustworthy and reliable sources. Do your shopping on line. You are not letting your children down, you are trying to get better. Remeber that you are a person as well as a parent, and that you deserve some time to be you.

Do you know Chinchilla, I think it is only women who realise that we have to have time to ourselves, believe it or not I can't even go to the loo without one of the kids, if I have a bath dh says 'don't be long', yet he has an hour and reads a book. I no longer feel like me, I was a swine and the life and soul of the party 6 years ago and all i feel like now is a wife and mother (though I adore dh and the children). The only help i get is from dh when he feels like it and if there is nothing on tele. I have no family and his are very funny and only help if there is something in it for them.

I suppose it doesn't help when you have a neighbour saying 'I don't know why you have it again, i have 2 aswell and I'm ok', the thing she seems to forget is since having her youngest (4months old) she has been abroad for a week and left her children with her partners mam and they have EVERY weekend to themselves as their families take it in turns to have her children

I know in my last post I may sound resentful, maybe I am but i don't like being made to sound second class because I have very little outside help. She has a very good knack at making me feel low

Sorry for rambling

And there are always really annoying people who tell you how happy they are, and cannot understand how you are feeling. I think the thing is not to compare yourself to them unfavourably, as they have a different mental makeup to you and me! They are lucky enough to have never felt this way, but that is not to say that they never will. I just don't try to explain depression to people who have never experienced it first hand, as it is impossible. I just would never wish that despair on anyone. I am always around to talk if you want to.

Thanks Chinchilla,(I despise shopping and buy nearly everything on the internet) are you on any medication? I wanted to go back on Cipramil which I had the first time I had PND but my doctor doesn't want me to go on something I have already been on. (I trust her judgement). I must admit that sometimes I find myself hankering to be who I was 6 years ago, I was 8 stone slimmer, lived on my own and went out 5 nights a week and I even dream about it then I wake up and realise 'Hang on I can't do that, I've a husband, kids, ironing, dusting and vacuuming to do, i would just love to be me for 24 hours.

ks, i wouldn't even know where to start looking for homestart, would I be entitled to it as I have a husband who is working full-time, as for the book, I'll order it from the library 2moro and start reading a bit each night. i used to adore reading (got 100's of books) but can't concentrate for more than a few lines.

Thanks ks it's nice to know that someone out there is actually wanting to help, dh doesn't know what to do, one of my best mates has two under 5 of her own and the other best mate is at the minute, too much into going out on the razz, i'll have a look at your site. Have you ever used them?

Well I have written the name down for the book, dh will order it for me (i'm not interested in going out of the house, the last time I went out was to see the doctor last week). And believe it or not I have sent an E-mail already to homestart, i think there is a problem with their site at the minute as not areas can be accessed, we will have to wait and see, I don't know what dh will think

Chinchilla and ks sorry if i rambled a bit last night, but I felt bad.

I've been up since 3.30am with a teething baby and so far, although tired, i feel a bit brighter.

Thanks for the links and comments last night

Totally no problem at all, and you weren't rambling. Believe me, I know how it feels to be able to say exactly how you feel to someone who does not know you and have an opinion on the matter! Feel free any time, I am on here every day generally. I am a bit blue at the moment, but I think (hope) it is 'only' PMT. Will see how I feel next week.

Thanks. Feeling a bit better today but not much to be honest. I feel guilty looking at the kids as I would love to be able to take them out and let them get some fresh air, but the thought of getting them and myself ready (it's like a military operation) just fills me with dread, it's all I can do to make sure that they are fed I have no energy. My get up and go has truly got up and gone. Dh is telling me to go to the gym as he knows I enjoy it, it'll help me lose weight and I can have a sauna a relax afterwards, I just don't want to leave the safety of my home and know that when I get back the house will be a pig sty as he is incapable of tidying up after himself.

I would say go to the gym if your dh is saying he'll look after the kids. If you enjoy it, then that is part of the way to having fun in your life again. I understand totally how you feel about getting out with your children. Sometimes it was too much for me to get out of the house, as I used to panic about being attacked when with ds, and not being able to protect him, or having an accident, and leaving him motherless and crying in his pram.It sounds ridiculous to those who have never felt like that, but it is a very real fear. My dh used to tell me to go out, as he knew that the exercise would help me feel better, and I know that I felt a sense of small achievement when I did manage to walk out with ds, even for a few minutes. It's funny, because I was OK if I was meeting someone else, but felt panicky if I had to go out on my own.

I really feel for you, and don't know what to say to help you feel better. I know that telling you to go out with your children might make you feel even more inadequate, as you already know that they need to get out in the fresh air. Believe me, I am not judging you. Can you meet a friend in town for a coffee, with your children? Can someone trustworthy look after your 4 year old, to let you spend some close time with your 1 year old?

I am on Cipralex, and it seems to be working, except for PMT, which I hope will be gone soon. I think that I am on 10 mg. I haven't heard anything about your pills, but they usually take about 2 weeks to a month before you notice a change. I have tried loads of others, but nothing touched my last bout of depression in 1998-2000. I think that I had let it take hold too strongly before seeing the doctor. This time, I got in fairly early, and I hope to be OK to come off them in the minimum period of 6 months. We'll see. Anyway, I am still here if you need to talk.

Oops, sorry, dh is calling me to come down and spend some time with him! Better had! Anyway, if you would like my email address, for a better chat, then ask technical support. I am happy to 'talk' on a more one-to-one level if you want to. Otherwise, I do come on here every night, so I'll always be around to chat on here. Hope you have a good noght's sleep, and wake up feeling brighter tomorrow.

Thinking of you.