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Original poster

Dh has something wrong with his bowels/stomach but refuses to go to dr's. Information on IBS and other possible causes pls! :-(

73 replies

theSuburbanDryad · 09/08/2008 08:16

Dh frequently suffers with diarrhea and painful stomach cramps accompanied by bad wind. Last night it culminated in us all having to get out of bed as he'd soiled himself and we had to change the sheets (he'll be really angry if he knows i've told MN but I'm genuinely worried).

I think it sounds like IBS and think he should go and see the GP out of hours today, but he says they'll just tell him to rest. I suspect the treatment for IBS is somewhat different but of course we don't know that it is IBS. He is quite overweight and i think this is why he doesn't want to go to the dr's. How can I make him see this is affecting all of us? I'm unwell and pg myself atm and could be doing with getting plenty of rest not having to get up in the night because we need to change the feckin sheets!

OP posts:

lulumama · 09/08/2008 10:18

do you think he would prefer to see a male doctor?

themildmanneredjanitor · 09/08/2008 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 09/08/2008 10:18

Mr Suburban Dryad, if you're reading this: look, something is clearly wrong. It may well not be serious. But it needs fixing. You can't go on like this. Doctors are absolutely used to dealing with this kind of thing, and believe me your GP will be pleased you showed up with these symptoms, rather than letting them get worse and more complicated.

Original poster

theSuburbanDryad · 09/08/2008 10:20

I think so lulu, yes, which I completely understand and sympathise with. After all, I'm not sure i'd want a male doctor poking around my bum (although hey - I've given birth, so I have no dignity left, right? ) so I've said, go back and see Dr Tom in Surrey, or ask to see a male GP at our surgery, but he won't.

OP posts:

motherinferior · 09/08/2008 10:21

To echo what TMMJ said: one reason my partner is taking his high cholesterol seriously is that his own father died when DP's youngest brother was 16, and DP has worked out that if he died at the same age, our DD2 would be only 16.

And of course Martianbishop's story is a damn sight even more tragic

TigerFeet · 09/08/2008 10:21

Would he go if you made an appointment for him?

You shouldn't have to treat him like a child but if he won't do it perhaps you should.

lulumama · 09/08/2008 10:24

he is being, quite frankly, very silly.

it is not the most fun i have ever had, having various tests for my bowel condition , but so worth it.. surely a few minutes in the doctors is better than losing control of his bowels

what if the next time it happens he is at work? down the pub?

that will be far more embarrasing

Original poster

theSuburbanDryad · 09/08/2008 10:25

Right - just phoned OOH dr's, they're going to phone back with an appointment (you just speak to a call handler in the first instance).

She thought I was phoning for myself as I sound like death warmed up!

OP posts:

themildmanneredjanitor · 09/08/2008 10:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sandcastles · 09/08/2008 11:19

theSuburbanDryad, probably already had the answer to the Q you asked me [sorry, had to feed dd]...

But yes, I think so, I know my IBS can play up if I am stressed.

Original poster

theSuburbanDryad · 09/08/2008 13:29

Well, I spoke to the nurse at the OOH dr's and she said that we absolutely could have an appointment today, but as the emergency GP can't refer or take samples we need to see our regular GP - which I wholeheartedly agree with. I don't think there's any point us wasting an emergency appointment which someone else could really need! So we've saved ourselves a trip to Amersham at least - and I've got a promise from dh that if I make him an appointment with our GP on Friday (which is the day he works from home) then he will attend.

I think the thread may have scared him. Thanks ladies!

OP posts:

triplets · 10/08/2008 00:00

I think for your peace of mind you must make that appt. I do not wish to scare you but in Jan this year I noticed that my husband was going to the loo mre than usual. He refused to go to the doctor, said it was piles. Then I saw a tiny amount of blood on the sheet, so I made the appt and told him he had to keep it, he did. Sadly he was found to have bowel cancer so we are now in the middle of treatment, we have 10 yr old triplets. Your husband will be alot younger than mine, so it may not and I pray not, be as serious, but it cannot be ignored. Please do it xx

ThingOne · 10/08/2008 22:56

SD - not read all the thread but I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer a year ago and am still undergoing treatment.

He must go to the GP. As a father he has a responsibility to his children to put them over his embarrassment about having a finger put up his arse. It's quite simple. Virtually all colorectal cancers can be cured if caught earlier enough.

I have a hernia (from my surgery) and it does not cause diarrhoea. If it did wouldn't he/I have it the whole time?

expatinscotland · 10/08/2008 23:01

could also be crohn's or colitis, they cause similar symptoms.

there was a young man on Embarrassing Illness who had symptoms like his, with a history of Crohn's in his family. only he was also losing weight.

an MRI diagnosed his Crohn's.

GPs have seen it all before!

And he'd better get used to a finger up his arse - he has prostate checks coming up.

cadelaide · 10/08/2008 23:09

I do sympathise, tSD, DP is another who will not, will not go to his GP.

It is frustrating beyond belief. I think a lot of men are like this, I wonder why?
I think with DP it's the fear of the diagnosis.

Bloody silly, really. Good Luck with it all, sounds like you've done a good job.

expatinscotland · 10/08/2008 23:11

it's why bowel and prostate cancer kill more men that necessary, sadly.

they don't like to go to the doctor and they don't like the exams.

they're trying to develop more blood tests to detect these problems, but unfortunately, eventually, treatment will involve doctors and things men don't like.

then again, just stick arond here and read the sheer numbers of women who will not have a smear test.

cadelaide · 10/08/2008 23:20

Really expat?

I haven't come across that. I find it pretty much impossible to have sympathy really. I mean, what's worse? Embarrassment/fear/discomfort at the GPs or dying?

Hmmmmm.

expatinscotland · 11/08/2008 00:27

there was a thread on here not even a week ago and many were on about how they never had one or had one and will never go back for another as it was uncomfortable and unpleasant.

i'm sure invasive cervical cancer makes uncomfortable and unpleasant look like a walk in the park on a sunny day.

ThingOne · 11/08/2008 16:14

I so agree with you expat. I sometimes struggle to remain polite when what I really think is "grow up". Until my arse was removed I had many fingers stuck up it and some lovely pipes and funnily enough it was the cancer that was life threatening and not the finger.

expatinscotland · 11/08/2008 16:21

I just think, anytime I get embarrassed, about the thought of leaving my kids behind. Of having to try to explain what is happening because my children are still so young. Of having to say goodbye.

When it could all have been prevented if I had just sucked it up? I'd never forgive myself if I allowed that happen.

It's my job and responsibility to look after myself the best I can so my kids will hopefully have me around until they're at least old enough to be able to look after themselves, if at all possible.

BlaDeBla · 11/08/2008 17:39

I hope your dh has been to the doctor by now! I was admitted to hospital last year with similar symptoms, which had got worse and worse. It was pretty horrible, draining away, and in the end I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. They were looking for all sorts of things including bowel cancer. It's undignified and agony, but then so is pushing out babies!

amidaiwish · 27/08/2008 17:57

SuburbanDryad - how did he get on?

onceinalifetime · 27/08/2008 18:05

Just skimmed this thread but this does sound very much like ulcerative colitis which my dh has had for several years. It can be brought on my stress, most common to get it mid 20s to mid 30s, has all these symptoms and more but can be controlled by medication. Higher risk of bowel cancer but as you are checked more regularly once diagnosed, chances of catching and curing it are actually higher.

Your dh will need to be referred to a specialist and will probably need to prepare himself (mentally that is!) for some slightly toe curling up the bum examinations involving a tiny camera - colonoscopy, I think? Sorry, rushing off in a minute but if you need any more information or the name of a good specialist, let me know. I think dh saw most of them at one point! Main thing is to get a diagnosis as soon as possible so you can hopefully rule cancer out and get this sorted. Good luck!

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