Dh has something wrong with his bowels/stomach but refuses to go to dr's. Information on IBS and other possible causes pls! :-(

[theSuburbanDryad]

Dh frequently suffers with diarrhea and painful stomach cramps accompanied by bad wind. Last night it culminated in us all having to get out of bed as he'd soiled himself and we had to change the sheets (he'll be really angry if he knows i've told MN but I'm genuinely worried).

I think it sounds like IBS and think he should go and see the GP out of hours today, but he says they'll just tell him to rest. I suspect the treatment for IBS is somewhat different but of course we don't know that it is IBS. He is quite overweight and i think this is why he doesn't want to go to the dr's. How can I make him see this is affecting all of us? I'm unwell and pg myself atm and could be doing with getting plenty of rest not having to get up in the night because we need to change the feckin sheets!

on the other hand my friend has just been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and he was terrified it was bowel cancer as the symptoms were similar to those you have described.

he is on a course of steroids and some medication and should be absolutely fine.

but he CAN'T ignore it.

let us know how he gets on.

Well ds shot up the stairs to wake him up - and I went up and said, "Right, we are going to the dr's, I don't care what you say, shitting the bed is not normal and you could have bowel cancer."

His response?

"It was just very watery diarrhea. It's nothing to worry about."

I give up.

show him this thread.

he'll be cross you've told us yes - but who are we? we're a bunch of faceless strangers he doesn't know??? he needs to get himself down there.

keep trying. It took me quite a few weeks of severe symptoms and then some internetting research - emailed DH the links to read in his own time - and then he finally gave in and had an appointment.

He needs to go to the GP for the sake of you, your Ds and your baby.

Ultimately, of course, his health is his own affair - you can't make him go, and you certainly shouldn't feel guilty for the fact he hasn't gone.

But I do feel for you. I'd keep upping the ante if I were you.

tmmj - that's what I'm going to do. Trying to get through to them now. If i get an after lunch appointment then it gives us plenty of time to get ready.

it is only 'normal' if he has food poisoning

otherwise he has something wrong

that can most likely be sorted with some medication and some changes to diet

what is it with some men? is he embarassed do you think about talking bottoms and poo with the doctor?

Yes, he probably is. That's why so many cases of colorectal cancer go undiagnosed, embarrassment.

They'll want to speak to him. What do I say?

he's at work and asked you to ring?

or just tell them the truth he's a littel embaressed. and you're making the apt on his behalf.

Yep, tell them the truth. The WHOLE truth. Including crapping the bed. Not to embarrass him, but to make sure he gets an appointment!

He came down just as I was about to phone and asked what I was doing. I offered to show him this thread. He says I should mention that he has a hernia and he thinks it's related which is something that hadn't occured to me.

hernia is nothing to do with it ! and even if it was , then if it is causing him to lose control of his bowels, he still needs to go to the doctor

could be related, then again might not be - the key point thou is we're not doctors (dont' think any of us are anyhow) we may have similar probs in the past or symptoms but we're not there and not professionals. that's who he needs to see - your GP will tell you if it's all part n parcel of a hernia. (althou I thought that was just a fatty lump in the body - but will stand corrected if it's not)

Er...perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't. He should go to the doc! He needs someone who has got training and experience, not a bunch of people who in my case know bugger-all (I'm a journalist, ffs - but I am a health writer!) and can't see him!

great minds MI!

I know

That wasn't to you, MMJ!

Well given a choice of shitting the bed and going to the doctor I know which I would find most embarassing

I have IBS, diagnosed recently after other possible causes for the wind/pain/loose stools were ruled out. THere were no embarrasing procedures. I had a U/S scan and the doctor poked and prodded my abdomen to look for tender areas - there weren't any.

I have antispasmodic medication to control the cramps and it works a treat - buscopan can be bought over the counter but I wouldn't reccommend it unless a doctor has given a dx.

I sympathise SuburbanDryad - my dh has other problems for which he won't visit the doctor/dentist and it pisses me off no end. How can you respect someone who has so little respect for themselves? That's my pov anyway.

He is on a waiting list for a hernia op. He didn't want to see "our" gp about it, so he went to see his old family doc back in Surrey - who I think is shit. The doc said it wouldn't take longer than 2 months but that was over 6 months ago, so he chased it up and it turned out he hadn't been triaged. So now I don't know what's happening with it - I think he needs to see our gp, who is a lovely, lovely lady and extremely efficient and sympathetic but he won't. So I said well go back and see the doc in Surrey, but so far he hasn't.