Need to talk, just called in sick, think I am losing the plot

[chocolatemummy]

anyone feel able to prop me up before I fall?
sitting here in tear after what I'think' was a massive panic attack?

I can talk to you if you like.

What brought the attack on?

spit it out whats up?

I honestly don't know except a build up of a shit few years, two steps forward, nine steps back....you know how it is.
My daughter is being particularly diificult(awful in fact) and I dropped her of at nursery at 12 after a really challenging morning with her and suddenly found my strugglng for breath, thought I was having a f***g heart attack and then walked in the door and broke down

really frightened me, made me realise
just how much I am teetering on the edge

do you have anyone who you can talk to in rl?

Poor you. ((((hugs))))
not able to be of much help really, but i can put the kettle on if you like?

i have no advice on what professionals you should see - but in my youth i had an experience much like this.

life throws at us some shit times , i think its easier to deal with these shit times if you have other things to balance thse out with.

what other things do you have - or is this something you could look into?

Are you feeling any calmer?

Is there anyone in RL you can go to or call right now and have a chat?

right now everybody is either at work or got issues going on themselves, Plus I don't likle talking to people I know about things like this, I guess its hard because of the work I do, people would frown on me but its my work that is half the problem.

I think I am so stressed about work my work/career situation that is impacting on my relationship with my dd which seems to be terrible lately, I feel like I am not getting anywhere with either and propping everyone else up with their problems. But I have stopped crying now, I just really scared myself earlier and guess I'm worried if thas going to happen again

so you need to change job?

I have chaneged jobs 3 times in last three years, left good job for a 'better one' then got made redundant in 2006, since then had a fixed term contract til beginning of this year and current contract runs out in 10 weeks, that is doing my head is, feel really insecure and almost unemployable, want to retrain but just don't know what to do or how I will afford it and my daughter who I adore and love so much seems to be pushing me to limits that I arent there anymore

not sure what to say but just to offer lots of support to you xxx

thanks to all offering support, guess I need o talk about because bottling it all up is clearly making me ill

If I'm reading right you're certainly not unemployable - you were in a job, then left it for another one (which you interviewed for and got). Then made redundant - not your fault, then got another job, albeit on fixed term contract. By my reckoning that's two positions you've applied for and got in the last three years.

I'm in the same position - really unhappy and unmotivated at work because I feel 'unprofessional' - balancing that with a child in nursery and the guilt and the constant organising, the two lives cross over and can clash - I've honestly felt like you do. The key is to talk it out as you are doing, get some space (this afternoon not at work is a good start) and plan.

Do you have an inkling what you'd like to retrain into?

all I have ever done is work with chldren and families(child protection/parenting assessments etc) see what I mean about being frowned upon!

All my qualification up to degree level are in social care etc. I think I am burned out and feel a failure for helping other children and parents and struggling to even manage my own.

I have been scanning local college and uni websites, everything seems alien to me

chocolate - could you reduce your stress by locumming for a while ?

chocolate - could you reduce your stress by locumming for a while ?

Would it help to do an online skills check thing?

Shameless plug but I work for Learndirect - their website has a really useful tool. You answer questions about your skills and interests, and it comes up with a long list of potential jobs you could do, ways to get into it, quals or training needed etc.

here

It's also an interesting personal exercise to remind you of the things you are good at, maybe restore some faith in your abilities across the board?

although I have a degree I do not have the professional social work qualification so cannot locum, agency work is what I am doing now essentially..... temporary work.
I need to spend more quality time with my dd who seems to be going off the rails at 4 years old but I need to have an income too as I am the main earner,

Fanella, thanks I'll have a go at that.

am i being ridiculous? my chest still feel tight now... is there anything you can get for panic attacks without going to the DR because if I have this kind of thing on my record it could affect my work

Chocolatemummy - I had a similar career to you before I had ds1 3 years ago - it's a very draining profession. I'm a SAHM at the moment but when I do go back into a job I know that it will never be in that sort of area. It was hard enough to do before having children but now that I have two of my own I can't face it.

Not sure what I will do as all my education and experience is based on working with children and families.

I think a deviation from what you do would be a good thing.

not sure about panic attacks except for deep breaths, sitting quietly and calmly etc.

you could have a look at nhs direct website for info?

and no - you're not being ridiculous.

just done the sklls test thing, it has come up with things that have crossed my mind its just having the time and money to do them isn't it.
I feel trapped, would like to do osteopathy or play therapy but its four or fives years and thousands of pounds.
I really need to be sitting on a quiet beach somewhere in wales or something right now ...