The Great Cancer Recovery part 5

[Topofthecliffs]

Amazingly we have now filled four threads and are ready to start again. How time flies when you are being purposeful! Come and join in.

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!
Here are some resources we found helpful:
The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis
Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/
Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward
Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html
Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/
Exercise is good for you:
^https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients^
Any more suggestions? Post them below

(There is a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat, and you are welcome on any or all of these)

@MrsSPenguinz thank you for your lovely reassurance! That’s just what I needed to hear.

@Littlecaf I second MrsP you are better off with the soonest appointment as it gives you less time to worry. I’ve been back a few times, and am always petrified because when I found a tiny lump on the opposite side to my first cancer we (me and the BC team) were all shocked that it was a second different breast cancer. Each time I go about minor lumps and bumps I think “ surely lightning won’t strike a third time!” and thankfully it has been fine every time but the fear is horrible.
Today we had an architect round to look at rebuilding our garages, and also our neighbours garages that are falling down. We are plotting to buy them both as they can’t afford to make them safe. As we are in a conservation area there will be tree surveys and planning needed but we made good progress today. DH is quite excited as he has two classic cars that need warm dry homes. I think maybe we had better not plan any expensive holidays until we know the cost and the timing of the garage construction!
Tomorrow I am off to see DM with lots of treats for her. New shoes and underwear and fresh strawberries. I’m just a little fairy spreading joy and sunshine!

Hopefully you'll get it confirmed as nothing very soon @Littlecaf I had DIEP on the right breast and certainly had that type of feeling several times before taking 1 - 2 months to go and always after I've done something that involves lifting heavy things or sometimes something that involves moving it a lot could trigger, was it you who went kayaking in the Lakes? I think I must be doing something like pulling the muscles there but as nerves were cut it can feel a bit different. The DIEP worked so well I forget and I'm right handed so naturally use that side more. It always resolves but sometimes I need to rest it or at least stop lifting heavy things for a while.

We were wondering about getting an architect @Topofthecliffs but DH assures me he can do everything they do. He's been saying this since about 2020 and so far no drawings have appeared. Though maybe when he starts early retirement he'll have more time to make some. He also has 2 classic cars, on in France and one here in a garage he rents. I would not be amazed if he has other secret classic cars. He's just started working on his one here with a friend from work so that's nice for him to start. I have been really shocked by the prices for work recently and they have gone up so much since 2020. The quote for the tiny thatched shed (10 foot by nearly 7 foot) was £25k by the time you had added in planning and electrics. I like my holidays too. Though have been on rather a lot and once DD finishes university if she starts work elsewhere we may have no cover for DS other than a weekend here and there.

I am not sure if we will also need a tree survey for shed as there's a big tree by there. We have tried AI to see type of tree, think its a lime and AI said most times it was a lime, mostly a small leafed lime, though once reckoned it was a dying Norwegian maple. 😂

Hope everyone had a good weekend and any results have come back benign.

Booked a holiday in Sri Lanka with direct flights. Other than that cleaning and gardening for 5 hours yesterday with a singing snuggly silkie for the gardening part.

@Zoopet and @BatshitCrazyWoman I hope you are feeling more comfortable and have your medication balanced.

@Littlecaf was your appointment last Friday or this week? Thinking of you.

Wow @MrsSPenguinz that sounds like a fabulous trip. I am holding off booking anything else until we know the plan for the garage rebuilds. Partly on cost and partly on knowing when we will have builders here.

I have had a quiet week since getting home from Scotland. I was a bit broken so have been resting to let the sore joints settle. Also my plan to go off on my boat has been foiled by the weather. Maybe next week…. I am trying to be zen and accept life’s ups and downs gracefully but I am a bit resentful that other people seem to do things smoothly and DH and I get rocks thrown into our path. He is on good form though, did a big event at the weekend and is now home and cheerful.
Maybe I shall venture out to Pilates tomorrow. I think my knee will cope now.
Sending strength to all you recoverers. Just keep going!

@Topofthecliffs thanks for asking, it was last Friday and they scanned my armpit and all was fine. Haven’t felt it since 🤦🏼‍♀️. Typical!

Hope everyone is doing well and looking forward to summer.

Thanks @Topofthecliffs Hope the garage plans are going well.

Glad it was all clear @Littlecaf

DH has very recently stopped work taking voluntary redundancy and started early retirement and its great to have him round all week. DD is staying in Oxford almost all summer apart from coming home so we can go on holiday to Sri Lanka, have that all planned now and she's doing a trip to Paris. Other than that have been gardening, cleaning house and trying to decide on summerhouse / shed, find out about planning, listed building consent, conservation area and building regs and am pretty much there now. We have decided on a shed/summerhouse and I have started planning applications, just a few drawings to add to it then should be able to send off soon. DH is working on his classic car today, tomorrow we are starting to paint / putting together 2 beach hut style mini tool stores and Friday we have afternoon tea and a tour of a historic house in Norfolk. Hot weather forecast for next 2 weeks.

Hi all. I have been away in Cornwall on my boat and as seems to be the theme this year I have been followed by thick fog and drizzle. We did have two glorious days but that didn’t last. DH has gone home but I am trying to get the boat lifted out as she has a leak that needs fixing urgently. Most of my belongings are old and broken and take constant maintenance, a bit like me!
@MrsSPenguinz it all sounds very familiar. We have had the architect round for the garages and are waiting for the tree man and the bat survey. Progress is slow but in the right direction. I hope you have the same.
One of my oldest friends has been diagnosed with lung cancer. It is strange being on the other side of the fence supporting her. I am trying to offer what helped me, while accepting we are all different.
I need to make a plan for next week. Just go in the opposite direction to me because I will attract hailstorms and floods I expect! 🙄😂

Great you are back on the boat @Topofthecliffs and hope tree man and bat man goes well. So sorry about your friend. Have you made a plan for next week yet?

Did gardening on Thursday for 5 hours with DH then on Friday we went on an Invitation to View Historic houses tour in Norfolk, we saw the house, the gardens, the church, they played us organ music then we all had afternoon tea. Had smoked salmon and egg sandwiches, then scones baked whilst we were there with cream and homemade jams, and 3 cakes as well we could have victoria sponge, chocolate and ginger or coffee cake with earl grey tea. Very nice day out.

Today DH and I have been cleaning - I did the bathroom upstairs and went through all of the kitchen cupboards, sorted fridge, cleaned cooker, microwave, walls, floor and DH did some papers in the dining room and hoovered wherever we have carpet. Was good to get that all done. I have planning permission off for the shed /summerhouse now, takes 15 weeks or so as listed.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Its hot here, today was about 27C so OK but it goes up to 34C next week and every day for next 2 weeks is forecast as sunny. I am loving having DH retired, its only been a week but we can get so much done and have nice days out.

My plan for this week is changing by the day. The boat is coming out to have the leaky seal replaced. That will give me peace of mind. Meanwhile I had a very bizarre accident yesterday, and can’t decide whether I am very lucky or very unlucky. I was gardening and dislodged a drainpipe slightly. The cast iron hopper at the top of it suddenly fell down on me and hit me between the shoulder blades as I was leaning forward. I was knocked flat and lay there thinking I might have a fractured spine. When I tried to get up I was sick and fainted. After a bit of debate with DH he took me to A and E where I lay down on the floor as I thought I might have a fractured vertebrum. Eventually I had some X-rays and thankfully I just have bruises. If the hopper had hit my head I would be dead! But if DH had been up a ladder when it dislodged he would be dead. So on balance I think I took one for the team and we are lucky it wasn’t worse.
He is out today so I am sitting quietly trying not to get into any trouble.
I was thinking that when I went to work every day my life was quite mundane and pleasant. Now I am retired and can do whatever I want I keep getting into dangerous situations. Maybe I need to go back to a dull but safe routine if I want to survive without any more disasters.
Hope the rest of you are keeping cool and avoiding trouble!

Sorry about your accident @Topofthecliffs but glad it was just bruises.

Its hot here, just been out doing a couple of hours gardening but have come in and had a bath and stopped as its too hot to do for long.

Tomorrow we have Trinity May Ball punting tour which will enjoy. DH also has a meeting with former colleagues and then on Tuesday is doing more classic car.

I managed to sit quietly today and heal. I am still shocked at what happened. I am also fed up of being the centre of so much ridiculous drama.Twenty years ago I was an overextended mum of 3 teenagers, married to a Very Important Man. I felt my life was humdrum and repetitive and I was pulled in all directions working and running a busy home without any space or time for myself. Now I am in another life where I have all the time I need. I don’t need to work and can do what I want. For some strange reason I seem to attract disasters and drama continuously. The cancer was the start of it, but since then DH2 and I have got used to a constant stream of injury and illness, breakdowns and accidents, crime and bereavement. I would quite like it to stop and go back to a slightly dull but nice life with the people I love. What am I doing wrong? I am reflecting on my choices and trying to see where I am making bad decisions. Perhaps I need safer hobbies! Or perhaps I should go back to church on Sundays and pray a bit more and wear a St. Christopher medal to keep me safe.
Any ideas folks? You know me quite well here.

I think you have a wonderful life @Topofthecliffs doing hobbies you or your DH enjoys. If you enjoy the hobbies I would carry on with them but I think as we age / impact of chemos and you had two if you want to maximise chance of nothing bad happening maybe need to risk assess things quickly and less gung ho like we are in our 30s. Though gung ho is fun and it's nice thinking we are in 30s and so are all our friends so am in two minds about this. I said to DH the other day our shed must have been built pre 1999 because of the roof but I thought it was 30 years or so how can that be, then I remembered 1999 was almost 30 years ago. It's good that forget age and health but sometimes that can result in underestimating risks.

It's just things like when start something spend 5 minutes thinking about risks though they can be quite unpredictable. Some things like bereavement I think are sadly to be expected as we get older, also having had cancer you tend to know others who have had it and sadly some will have shortened life expectancy. Bike theft is also common but if you both love it then I would carry on. The boating sounds wonderful. I think with driving up to top of Scotland, it's an awful long drive and that probably adds to risk of being in an accident but doesn't mean don't do it but maybe consider things like could you fly part way, not doing too much driving in one day. I think maybe you need more rest. Chemo also damaged my feeling things and my eyesight worsened a bit and you've been through it twice. I am making it sound like we are 80 now which obviously not but maybe we are needing to adjust more but just 5 mins here and there and a less full on schedule. Though if you love it I would stay the same. I tend to do day on day off if day on was very full or if away for short times then full days away but rest when back.

I just mean our bodies have been through a lot with cancer treatment, especially chemo, and yours has been through it twice and it can affect things like balance and eyesight so it's worth thinking about that sort of thing for 5 minutes or so pre starting activities. Like yesterday I was thinking about cutting things behind the shed and took a step out but saw ground was very uneven and thought no I will injure myself and fall off. Though a drainpipe is so unpredictable and not sure how you avoid that, could maybe look at house to see if anything looks like it needs work but largely not much can do.

@Topofthecliffs you have certainly had bad luck but I don't think you are doing anything wrong! Presumably you gain a lot of benefits and fulfilment from your hobbies, and some things are unavoidable unfortunately.

@MrsSPenguinz I'm also surprised by time passing and that 2006 was 20 years ago, for example. I was thinking earlier about wanting to do more running and realised that the last time I was running properly was well over 10 years ago, so will probably more difficult now to get back to that.

Am also waiting for scan results and jumping every time the phone rings. Does this ever get better?!

Hope you get good news soon @demivolt The checks are horrible but necessary though I do find it easier the longer I have been free of cancer but there's always a thought that life could be turned upside down at any moment. I don't give it much headspace but it is a bit behind doing everything I can on house and garden so if I got ill again would be done for both us and kids.

I am definitely also guilty of overestimating what my body is capable of and have to step back a minute and think but am naturally a impulsive just do it person. I remember seeing adverts for handymen working 40 hours a week in Antarctica and thinking that sounds great, I could do a carpentry course then go and do that. 40 hours a week physical work and no health facilities. 😂Its all big muscly men in their 20s or 30s.

We went to the Trinity May Ball punting and had a great time though was raining at the start.

Also we had noticed that a neighbours tree is dead and may fall into our garden, neighbour said its alive just late but heard from tree specialist its dead. Hoping they will do something now as its a big tree.

Thank you @MrsSPenguinz, and it sounds like a fun evening. Fingers crossed your neighbours sort the tree out.

Thanks @demivolt Hope you don't have long to wait and get all clear soon.

Seriously hot here this week, from Sunday it gets less hot. Am doing a couple of hours in garden in morning and then having a bath and seems to be manageable that way. We got the second beach hut mini tool store assembled today and cleared more leaves and I cleaned the silkies coop.

Planning has rejected to validate our shed application so we have to do 3 more drawings then they may or may not let it through. I was not best pleased as thought that was ticked off and it's slightly ridiculous to need permission for a small garden shed anyway. Apparently they need a floorplan so have to draw a rectangle for them. And a drawing of the second side of the shed as one side isn't enough. And the back as the front isn't enough. DH said he would do it then drew the front and the first side which we already have but he doesn't hear well but won't admit it. Then I booked a hotel in Sri Lanka to get a better rate but managed to put the wrong surname, it's my married surname but no id, but they said it's fine but I was a Muppet too. Then DH just went to get a lightbulb and came back with wrong type. We are making good progress on things but it's very 2 steps forward one step back.

Hope everyone is managing the heat OK, 35C here tomorrow. Heard from DD, she's staying in Oxford all summer and going to a ball this week and said she has bought a very expensive dress as that was all the shop did. At least it's lovely weather for it.

Hello all, been a bit quiet recently- enjoying a lovely mix of gardens, theatre, time with friends, and family get togethers which have all slowed down thankfully this week in the heat - phew.
I really enjoy catching up on your adventures and outings-@MrsSPenguinz your garden sounds lovely, major change with dh retired, and no dd this summer. Good luck with planning etc.
@Topofthecliffsyou have certainly lived in “ interesting” times as the Chinese curse says- maybe a consequence of being more adventurous? The hopper accident sounds awful.
I think some of it is a life stage thing? When we end up going to dear friends funerals. And we become the oldest generation. Our wider family gatherings are pivoting as the “ adults” retire or have health issues and the lovely young people are out in the world carving out their careers, lives and families.
I also think that having been through c( twice in your case) it does make us want to live fully and have the adventures?
And live more than a little life? I have an amazing friend with Parkinson’s- 10 years older than me, but makes me feel tired and dull by comparison- her philosophy is to say yes to everything. Extraordinary. But for now I’m staying cool with a fan. Hope everyone else is doing ok.

@MrsSPenguinz I heard an item today that said that in extreme heat our cognition is slower and less skilled. So you can blame these little errors on the weather.

@thesandwich thanks for your perspective. I wish you are right but sadly fear the voodoo curse is still active. Today I got up early to work on my boat before it got hot. Then I joined some friends for a windy trip out into the bay. They were laughing at me saying I am a Jonah, until the engine broke down and we had to call for help! We had a lifeboat come out! Happily another mechanic fixed the problem and we got home safely. Happily by then my boat was fixed too and I could put her back in her berth. It was an eventful day but my friend pointed out it was interesting and even enjoyable putting our safety training into practice. Someone suggested I should learn macrame but I would probably be the first person to suffer an inexplicable strangling incident. I’m going for coffee with SIL tomorrow at a new Italian cafe. That can’t be dangerous I hope.
Keep cool and carry on

Thanks @thesandwich Glad you are having a lovely time.

Lifeboat sounds exciting @Topofthecliffs

35C here today - DH has decided its the day to speak to the neighbours again about their dead tree. I'm not sure the hottest day on the year is the best day to do this in person but he's going. I wrote an e-mail and we were trying to print it and not printing then DH said I bought a new ink cartridge very recently why is this printer saying out of ink. Then 10 minutes later oh I have found the ink cartridge I bought it but I did not open it. I managed to change it to PDF and its printed.

Am watching Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders again on Netflix though my poor laptop is struggling in the heat. Hopefully will get drawings done for planning today though its so hot not sure we will achieve that. 31C tomorrow and then 23C to 27C next week so just today really. Though I need to practice for Sri Lanka with 35C and 3 curries a day. At least there will be air conditioning though and swimming pools at some places.

Chat with neighbour went well though will wait and see if they do anything re dead tree. Didn't get planning drawings done but hopefully tomorrow.

Decided it was so hot 35C that we should go out and went to an air conditioned restaurant and had a lovely meal with piano playing. Then went kayaking on the river for 90 minutes with beautiful sunset and birds very active and lots of cows in the fields. We saw one on the May Balls, you can just see it set up from the river photo with tents. DD is off to a ball tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Ah @MrsSPenguinz that looks cool and lovely!
I have stayed out of mischief but did have a blinding headache yesterday. Too much sun probably!
I was pondering on my arm swelling in the hot weather. Are any of you wearing compression garments in the heat? I have sleeves for cycling but despite the heat and doing repetitive jobs (like scraping a rudder) it hasn’t swollen any more than usual. Five years on from total axillary clearance and I mostly just ignore it. The sensation is reduced and it hurts sometimes but otherwise it seems okay when in the gym or doing strenuous things. I’m interested in how others are coping.
Today we have a charity fundraiser then I am on Safety Patrol for an event. Fun day!