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Original poster

Dentists and dentistphobics, I need your help!

46 replies

mankymolars · 10/06/2008 20:28

I have three main problems. Firstly, I haven't been to the dentist for 10 years and I need to get this sorted in the next 6 months, before my dd turns two, as I don't want to her to have issues. Part of my fear is the lack of control I have while hands are in my mouth and the other is a fear of being patronised for not looking after my teeth (I do my best but obviously, they are not in good shape after so long without professional care)
I have started to notice decay between my bottom front teeth, as though flossing hasn't been successful; how would this be treated by a dentist?
Finally, I have noticed very fine cracks on the surface of several of my front teeth,no pain or sensitivity, and in a back molar, where I have a filling in the side, it appears cracked above and below, almost from top to bottom, but only on the surface.

If I go to a dentist, am I doomed to having extractions and expense or will I be able to keep my teeth? Can I choose which treatment I have, one step at a time?

Sorry for such a long post, but it is something I finally need to tackle.

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 10/06/2008 21:15

You need to go to the doctor and expalin that you need a short term sedative such as a low dose of diazepam.

Then you go to the dentist and explain that you are frightened. Explain that you haven't seen a dentist for years because of this fear, and that you have had top take a sedative. Any dentist worth his/her salt will treat you with repect and dignity.

If it helps, have a sign with the dentist, such as a flapping hand, that means he/she has to take his/her hand out now.

I have a needle phobia. When I have to have a needle, I ask the nurse how long it will take, and can she do it within a count to 50. Then if she agrees, we arrange that she must take the needle out when I get to fifty, whether she is done or not. End of.

They have ALWAYS respected my wishes on this, and it keeps my feeling of control intact.

mrspink27 · 10/06/2008 21:19

I have exactly the same issues and Valium has helped me get thru root canal and general long overlooked work, including a 25 yr old temporary cap on front tooth being replaced. Have been back for 3 sessions. Go to the GP and talk to the dentist. I did this by phone, then in the waiting room and then standing in the consulting room and then in the chair before I even opened my mouth! If the dentist isnt sympathetic take your business elsewhere! Ask around to find a good dentist also!

ListersSister · 10/06/2008 21:27

Oh, I sympathise...

I went to my GP and he was helpful and prescribed me sedatives just to go for a checkup. I found temazepam and diazepam did not work for me (ie I stisll freaked), but lorazepam was a bit better. It enabled me to get into the room at least, although I can't actually have any treatment with just lorazepam as I cannot sit in the chair for more than 30 secs and cannot sit still for the crying and hyperventilating.

However, I found a dentist that does treatment under sedation. They just gave me an injection and next thing I remember was coming round on a trolley. I had to take lorazepam just to get there though, and obviously needed looking after for the rest of the day and night.

Another thing you could try is hypnotherapy. I haven't because I don't have the balls to confront my fear, but I do know people who have found it fabulous.

I do feel for you - I had a 15 yr gap between dentist appts and haven't been now for 3 years. I have had babies with fewer drugs than I need to walk into a dentist

KatyMac · 10/06/2008 21:29

I had hypnotherapy which helped

& my dentist gives me valium which also helps

& he stops when ever I wave at him which helps too

Milliways · 10/06/2008 21:32

check out this forum for similar phobics!

SmugColditz · 10/06/2008 21:34

Ditto - I managed to have a baby on gas an air but needed a valium for a blood test 6 months later......

Milliways · 10/06/2008 21:37

Sorry - this is the page of reviews of dentists in different areas and who offer sedation.

Original poster
mankymolars · 11/06/2008 12:37

Thank you for your advice everyone. I actually feel too embarrassed to talk to my doctor about it but may go and see a different member of the same practice. I am usually a confident, assertive person, so I can't really understand what is stopping me but I need to sort this out, for my dd's sake, as well as my own.

I'm not sure about sedation, as I would need someone with me, I assume, and I haven't and won't talk about this with my DH as he really doesn't understand.

I've been trying to google my potential treatments too, which is never a good idea!

OP posts:
loopylou6 · 11/06/2008 15:25

Speaking as an ex major dental phobic i can absolutely assure you that it really isnt as bad as you think. I know you wont believe me coz i never believed people that said the same to me. But i am speaking the truth, my teeth where disgusting and there really isnt much i havent had done, now i have beautiful teeth i look at them every day and still cant quite believe theya re mine
Serioulsy, you need to get up the nerve and go, if you need needles, ask for the numbing cream first, thatw ay you dont even feel the needle. Dentistry has come on so much since the last time you where there, tbh i actually have fun at the dentist, he is absolutely LOVELY, his only problem being that he absolutely gabs my leg off and expects me to answer but he is hilarious and very gentle, i honestly am not scared of the dentist anymore, and neither will you be once you actually go and realise that it isnt that bad
I dare you to make an appointment right now

naswm · 11/06/2008 15:29

Manky - I think I am the most phobic of all but have actually been to the dentist this week .

loopylou6 · 11/06/2008 15:32

Its not at all bad is it nawsm?

loopylou6 · 11/06/2008 15:32

sorry, naswm

naswm · 11/06/2008 15:35

No it wasnt bad. I wasnt nice and I went through hell on Sunday evening and Monday morning before I actually got there (flahbacks and nightmares) but a combination of psychotherapy and sheer bloody mindedness got me through.

Weegiemum · 11/06/2008 15:36

I finally went to the dentist so my kids would not develop the same fear.

I had been badly told off by a different one 10 years previously for not going, and it really put me off. I explained this to the dentist in the waiting room (too scared to walk into the treatment room on the first visit). 2nd time he had a look in my mouth in the waiting room and told me I had work needing done, and explained exactly what needed done - it was removal of 3 lots of roots from teeth I had allowed to decay in my mouth for 10 years as I was so scared. He did it over 3 apppointments.

I didnt need sedation as I was being strong about it - though looking back I could possibly have done with it as I vomited before and after each procedure.

Now I am a model patient and he uses me (ananymously) as an example to other scared patients. In fact my teeth are so good he has said I only need to come back every year instead of every 6 months.

If you have a good dentist it is great.

Weegiemum · 11/06/2008 15:36

I finally went to the dentist so my kids would not develop the same fear.

I had been badly told off by a different one 10 years previously for not going, and it really put me off. I explained this to the dentist in the waiting room (too scared to walk into the treatment room on the first visit). 2nd time he had a look in my mouth in the waiting room and told me I had work needing done, and explained exactly what needed done - it was removal of 3 lots of roots from teeth I had allowed to decay in my mouth for 10 years as I was so scared. He did it over 3 apppointments.

I didnt need sedation as I was being strong about it - though looking back I could possibly have done with it as I vomited before and after each procedure.

Now I am a model patient and he uses me (ananymously) as an example to other scared patients. In fact my teeth are so good he has said I only need to come back every year instead of every 6 months.

If you have a good dentist it is great.

Original poster
mankymolars · 11/06/2008 16:03

weegie, it is the 'bad telling-off' that worries me! It helps me think I might be able to meet him/her in the waiting room or something first. I also have the immense fear that the dental nurse might be an ex-student of mine ( absolutely no reason why they would be, only that I am a teacher and i suppose it might be so but I couldn't have anyone there that I know. How stupid do I sound? Even posting here,I feel embarrassed and am slightly panicky just thinking about it.

naswm, did you just have check-up or, , treatment?
loopylou, i am normally the first to accept a dare but.........

OP posts:
loopylou6 · 11/06/2008 17:00

MM am gonna give you a bit of stiff talking YOU KNOW your gonna have to go, YOU KNOW you will make that appointment eventually so stop fannying round and get it over and done with

iamdingdong · 11/06/2008 17:08

mm I have just come back from my first visit in 8 years, I last went just before my wedding as my mother nagged me to go because of the photos I was dreading it, but in fact it was ok, he was v nice and I only need my filling that I had done 8 yrs ago re-doing as it has chipped away (its between my 2 top front teeth) so I have been dreading this for ages, put it off for years and in fact its ok so please go!

Original poster
mankymolars · 11/06/2008 17:19

loopy, you're such a bully ...but I KNOW you're right. OK, am going to ask around a bit and see where might be best, see my GP for something calming, and I might just try an appt.

Sounds pathetic but could I ring and just ask to come into the waiting room and meet the dentist the first time? I don't mind paying (it will be private) just for that. Even thinking of the smell right now is making me feel sick,
dingdong, that was lucky. I haven't had any pain so fingers crossed it might not be too awful.

PS - I might keep this name change, I'm getting used to it

OP posts:
loopylou6 · 11/06/2008 17:24

I do make a good bully Phone the dentist (it wont be easy, i was practically hyperventilating) explain your terrified, they wont think your silly they hear it all the time, and ask if you could meet the dentist first. I promise it really isnt bad and you will fly out of there feeling so proud of yourself once you've had that initial appointment

naswm · 11/06/2008 18:17

I had treatment, and need to go back for more I coped but nearly didnt IYKWIM

Original poster
mankymolars · 11/06/2008 19:46

naswm. did you take anything before yuo went? Would you the next time? (sorry,20 questions is not helpful to you I know). do you think you'll go back for the rest of the treatment?

I saw a psychotherapist about an anxiety thing about 6 years ago, totally not related to this, but I guess some of the techniques I was taught might help.

oh, i'm so scared....... but you're right loupy, I would be proud of myself, even going for a check up.

OP posts:
trouble18524 · 11/06/2008 20:26

I was terrified of the dentist (still am a bit) but after an incident with an abcess (details in the thread with f-ing and blinding in the title) I go regularly.

As far as them telling you off....I go in saying "just so you know i'm terrified of the dentist so please excuse the mess the teeth are in" i've never been told off once after saying that.

Also I had a gap of 9 yrs once and went only to find I needed 2 fillings. Was so happy with the way my fear was handled I got him to do more cosmetic work on my teeth. Really depends on a good dentist tho.

ElvinaFrizzell · 11/06/2008 20:27

I'm another dentist phobic . I had sedation (pills, gas & air & local anaesthetic) when I was at uni 15 years ago and it was actually a pleasant experience. Think it cost me a fiver for the pills and got the rest free. This was necessary for just a couple of small fillings and a scale and polish though .

I last went a couple of days after I found out I was pregnant with DS. I had two molars falling apart and kept putting it off until I was temping for the NHS. I was sent to work in the dept finding dentists for people who usually phoned up when they were already in agony and desperate. After hearing all the horror stories I made an appointment. Of course by then I was pregnant and the dentist could only give me temporary fillings. They dropped out a few months after DS was born and he is now 22 months old and I still haven't been back.

We've now moved and last week I finally plucked up the courage to find out about registering myself and DS with the only surgery taking on new patients in our town.

They do sedation but the cost is huge and I would have to go private for all the treatment too . Don't know what I'm going to do now to be honest.

ElvinaFrizzell · 11/06/2008 20:31

Manky molars, I got my GP to prescribe me some pills (Lorazepam?) just to get me through the door but couldn't use them by the time I got round to it.