Dentists and dentistphobics, I need your help!

[mankymolars]

I have three main problems. Firstly, I haven't been to the dentist for 10 years and I need to get this sorted in the next 6 months, before my dd turns two, as I don't want to her to have issues. Part of my fear is the lack of control I have while hands are in my mouth and the other is a fear of being patronised for not looking after my teeth (I do my best but obviously, they are not in good shape after so long without professional care)
I have started to notice decay between my bottom front teeth, as though flossing hasn't been successful; how would this be treated by a dentist?
Finally, I have noticed very fine cracks on the surface of several of my front teeth,no pain or sensitivity, and in a back molar, where I have a filling in the side, it appears cracked above and below, almost from top to bottom, but only on the surface.

If I go to a dentist, am I doomed to having extractions and expense or will I be able to keep my teeth? Can I choose which treatment I have, one step at a time?

Sorry for such a long post, but it is something I finally need to tackle.

With both my current and previous dentist, neither of them looked in my mouth until they had spent 5 - 10 minutes talking about history, expectations and feelings. It really didn't make the 'reveal' that bad at all.

My advice is don't open your mouth until you have had a chat.

And if you've been looking after your teeth, they probably aren't that bad.

I didn't go to the dentist for years but I started noticing some small things wrong (toothache IIRC!) and realised that the only thing that would happen if I didn't go to the dentist was that my teeth would get worse, necessitating more severe treatment in the future.

So that thought got me to the dentist in the first place....

Then, once there, I comforted myself with the thought that nothing horrible would happen on the first day. They only ever do a check up to begin with and then you make another appointment for any treatment that needs doing. So I knew I would not have to suffer too much at that initial appointment. It gives you time to get to know the dentist, hopefully feel a bit more reassured by them, maybe even gives you the chance to tell them your worries and allow them time to reassure you or put in place special measures when you come back. If you don't feel reassured by that first appointment, well, you don't have to go back!

But you know that your problems will not go away and I am sure you don't want to end up losing all your teeth at a young age, do you? So the only alternative is somehow finding the courage to get yourself that first appointment.

I don't want to be contentious, but those of you that have been able to convince yourselves you HAVE to go to the dentist, and have subsequently been able to have treatment are not the same as those who are phobic.

I am sure you must have gone though a huge amount of stress and effort to go to the dentist, but being able to overcome your fear sort of suggests that your problem, while distessing and debilitating, does not constitute a phobia.

I am phobic, and no amount of talking to myself, chatting beforehand to the dentist etc will help. I need drugs to get me in the door. I collapse hyperventilating in the corridor outside the treatment room. It takes me about 5 mins to get into the room It takes me abot another 5 mins to perch on the edge of the chair. I cannot talk lucidly or civilly to the dentist while in the room. I cannot let him touch me or my mouth, nor put any kind of instrument or anything else in my mouth. I sob all the way through and can only open my mouth for a few seconds at a time. I cannot countenance ever having any kind of treatment unless I am sedated.

Usually, I am an extremely rational and calm and collected kind of a person. I have had babies with no pain relief. Yet in the dentist I go bonkers.

If someone is scared of the dentist, then some suggestions in this thread may well be very helpful. For the complete dentalphobe, it is either therapy or sedation IMO.

It is not my intention to offend in this, but just clarify the severity of the issue >>

manky you dont want to know wht I did to get there

Lister, I don't know if you were including me in what you said, but I have never claimed to be dentist phobic. I am ruled by another phobia and know exactly how impossible it is to overcome it. I understand what you mean when you say people here are not phobic (though I know naswm and know, although she is not phobic about the dentist per se, she is phobic about other things that she relates to the dentist). I feel the same annoyance when people claim to share my phobia when they obviously do not.

So I wasn't claiming to be dentist phobic, or to have overcome a dentist phobia, and I am not sure other people here were either. For myself, I was trying to present the rational view to mankymolars, because I know phobias and rationality do not co-exist, but rationality should be in charge in these situations.

You sound as though you have at least confronted your phobia, which is such a brave thing to do. Oh and are very appropriate on this thread as we all want to see lovely shining teeth! Oh I suppose would be better for that purpose!

Hi Dumbledore, thanks for your response. I wasn't referring to you in my post or

Thanks for your empathy. Through my own fear of dentists I too can understand people better, and know that sometimes just being brave just isn't enough.

I do not underestimate how bad some people feel about going to the dentist, but IMHO if you can have treatment then you aren't phobic, and phobias can rarely be overcome on your own.

i looked at the dental phobia site and it was very interesting how dental treatment can cause all sorts of buried feelings and experiences to rise to the fore.

I'm sorry if this upset you, Lister, certainly no one intended that. The common meaning of phobia is an intense and irrational fear,this is what I have but I do still hope that I can overcome it. I am really impressed that you have got as far as a dentist, feeling the way you do - total respect!
Some day soon I will be !

Just to add my POV as a reformed dental phobic - don't read if you are of a squeamish nature! I was traumatised by a terrible dentist 10 years ago so much so that I did not go back to finish the treament he'd started, and ended up having to have the tooth extracted a few years later. The new dentist put her foot on the chair to get more purchase while she pulled it out and part of it snapped off, had to have to gum cut open under local anaesthetic and that will stick with me forever. Then I was unlucky enough to have a Bell's Palsy in reaction to the anaesthetic (where your face goes lopsided and temporaily paralysed - in me my vision went funny too). Cue me avoiding dentist for years BUT I have taken pretty good care of my teeth since then (actually I have always been good on hygiene but genetically not been blessed with very strong enamel).

I have recently been to the dentists and had a root canal on my oldest filling. I was in the chair for over 3 hours having that done privately and I can honestly say that I felt like I was having a spa treatment! The reason? 5mg of diazepam the night before and 2mg half an hour before the appt, and a dentist that specialises in phobic patients. Every little thing that you might worry about he anticipated and dealt with it before you worried (ie never clanking metal on your other teeth etc).

And once you have a "fit mouth" it's just a check up a couple of times a year.

Just go and get the diazepam (dentist can do a private prescription which costs £5-10 if you don't want to go to your GP) and get it over with. Find a good dentist. You'll be fine.

When any of you say that your teeth were awful what exactly do you mean?

I haven't been for about 15 years (horrible dentist, gave me a bollocking etc etc) and mine are truly terrible. DH keeps telling me to get it sorted while I have my maternity exemption (runs out in Jan), not that I am registered with a dentist, never mind an NHS one, ha ha. But I really want to get it sorted not only for my sake but for dd's as I want her to have lovely teeth and no fear of the dentist. But I would have to be carried there on my way to the cemetery. I can't see any other way of getting me through the doors...

Eyeballs, I know exactly where you are coming from.
Columbo, I am impressed!(only wish I could believe the Spa likening!)
I am now having even stronger thoughts about really trying to do it, as I've just noticed that my final wisdom tooth seems to be making an appearance, 12 years after the others arrived (I haven't noticed any new found wisdom but maybe that'll come!) I'm gutted as I had assumed I didn't have one there; it's bound to be the one that causes me problems!
I think I will definitely have to go down the diazepam route. I have a smear to get through, then I will book another appointment with a different GP to ask for some diazepam. Small steps...

yes manky, small steps. Diazepam could be the way.

Re the other comments about if you have treatment then you cant be truely phobic, I think that is nonsense. I have two phobias -fear of vomit (and vomitting) and dentists (and people putting things in my mouth). I was sexually abused as a young child and I know that is where these problems come from. I have spent the past x years trying to not let some pervert from 35 years ago dominate my life and some times I achieve it and other times I dont. On the times I manage to block out the flashbacks and horrible images from my mind, I am able to lead a relatively normal life. I had to go to the dentist on Monday, but I only got there by taking my therapist with me and by 'transferring' my fear on to her. But I crumbled afterwards, when she had to 'give it back to me' (a complicated form of pyschotherapy).

I only say all that to let you know that it can be done but it isnt easy.

Go for it manky, if I can do it, you can Nx

Manky, as I said, I would try GP for drugs as a first step. Explain how significant your fear is and they should be able to prescibe the right thing. Apparently the reason the diazepan and temazepam didn't work with me was because my fear was so great, I metabolised the drugs too quickly . A couple of lorazepan did calm me enought to get there (alhough I did nearly deck the dentist, and still there was no way I could have had treatment....). Have an open mind though, my GP hadn't met anyone else who responded to the drugs in the same way as me (ie no response despite dosage level)

Naswm, my thread said that for true phobics, treatment could only be achieved through "either therapy or sedation".

I admire you for being able to deal with what you have experienced. As I also said, it is interesting how being at the dentist can resurrect long buried feelings and experiences. I cannot possibly empathise with what you have dealt with, but I can understand why you developed a fear of the dentist - loss of control, fear, pain etc etc. I wish you all the best, and am glad that you have found a helpful therapy path

sorry lister, wasnt aimed just at you!

I have lorazepam too, diazepam does nothing.

thansk for your encouragement tho

Have you booked that appointment yet manky? HUGS

I have an emerg appoint tomororw I am shtting myself already

Oh hell, naswm, just caught up on this. I hope it goes ok, You are a stronger person than me. Good luck.

Um, no, haven't made an appt yet BUT I have made an appt for my smear (another huge thing for me, even though I should be used to them after 3 monthly and 6 monthly ones after treatment). I will be mentioning my need for some sort of medication in order to even set foot in the dentist's waiting room.

Let me know how it goes.

thanks manky - good luck with the smear, and do ask for something to ease your nerves slightly for the dentist Nx

Going now - in right state - sweaty, clammy, shaking, nauseous. Just taken some lorazepam think of me

How was it, nas?

hi manky - shall I be honest?

Um, , yes, be honest. Not good, I take it?