Dp keeps making me sick and it’s putting me off having sex with him

[SunShinyDayee]

Just wanted people’s advice as to how to deal with this. I am immunocompromised - nothing serious but I have a tendency to be badly affected by viruses.

I work in an office and commute to work on public transport. I wash my hands once off public transport. I’m not obsessed about cleanliness but I’m careful. I hardly ever pick up illnesses from work or when I’m out but I do pick everything up from Dp who is constantly sick. Dp works from home so he can rest up when he’s ill but goes out a few times a week to see friends or go to meetings.

He is ALWAYS ill with something over winter. He’s obese and has asthma so has a tendency to hold onto colds.

I am the breadwinner so it’s really important that I work and keep my job but when I’m sick, I stay at home as whenever I pick up a virus from Dp, I get a temperature and get really sick. Case in hand, he gave me Covid 2 weeks ago and I’m only just getting back to work. I know now I’m better he will want to have sex again (and I miss it too) but he has another cold and I know if we have sex, I will get sick and I’m meant to be travelling for work next week.

if I wait till he doesn’t have some sort of cold it will likely be many weeks. Am I being ridiculous? Do people kiss/have sex with their partners when they have colds/viruses?

No such thing as a FF2 mask.

There's FFP2 but most medical people would choose FFP3 as it’s a better filter.

If you are living in the same house you will catch it whether you have sex or not. Prolonged exposure (more than 15 minutes) in the same environment is a viral dose.

There’s no way of saying for sure that it’s your husband who’s making you ill.

I think it does depend a bit about what you mean by 'having a cold'. I wouldn't dream of having sex of someone who was in the active, snotty stage of a cold. But the cough can linger for weeks and weeks so I think there is a stage where you're still not quite right but I would be happy to recommence...

I 100% agree with you (and many posters)
While it's difficult to avoid germs when living in the same house as someone actively sick,
Sleeping together (same room), kissing and sex would be a no go for me.
It's inconsiderate (especially if you're immunocompromised) and to me, just icky.
When one partners got a cold (or worse) that's when it's time to take out the vibrator and a fresh pack of batteries.

Gross! Who would want to shag someone spluttering and snotty? You’re not remotely unreasonable!

Yuck, no sorry not a chance. Your husband sounds inconsiderate, he should try and get healthier if you are immunosuppressed. That should be his priority.

Just sharing a house you will almost inevitably get each others colds and viruses. If he's obviously ill sneezing and coughing or sick, I would have thought neither of you would be thinking much about sex.