I genuinely think stress might be killing me

[HornungTheHelpful]

I am a stressy person - always have been. Worrier as a child, teen, adult. But I think it is now causing my physical health to breakdown. No particular big stress, just the ongoing low/mid level stress for 40 years. I’ve had a difficult time in my marriage recently - and I’ve ended up finding every interaction with my partner stressful, but I don’t think that is him - think it’s me making things bigger in my mind than they are.

what have I done? I do yoga and I meditate - consistently for c 3 years. I am on 150mg sertraline and 150 mg pregabalin for also c 3 years (this is to treat PMDD). I have had physical checks and blood tests. All normal. I have done therapy. I am significantly symptomatically hypermobile and am slightly overweight (need to lose 2kg to be in “healthy” weight range by BMI - I’m trying).

But I keep getting ill. In the last two years: I have had costochondritis, a chest infection I was hospitalised for, various coughs, colds and stomach bugs - lasting up to a month at a time (most recently Feb/Mar this year). I’m always knackered. I can’t lose weight. I have aches and pains frequently - though that likely relates to the hypermobility.

My vitamin D, calcium and iron are ok.

I don’t want the rest of my life to be like this. And I think I’m doing it to myself. Not sure what I want from this thread but feel like Drs can’t find anything wrong and the drugs don’t seem to impact the stress. I can’t significantly alter my life and don’t think it would help. I seem to manufacture stress whatever my circumstances.

Any help?!

Not quite sure what you mean. Please could you explain? Re structural approach.

I'd try to see an endocrinologist who specialises in menopause

I assume you had thyroid tested? Full panel not just TSH?

Yes - not sure if it was full panel though so that is something to look into. As is endocrinologist. Thanks.

Don't know if it's an option for you but I do hot pilates and yoga a few times a week. It really gets your heart rate up without cardio, and obviously you sweat a lot because youre basically in a sauna and I think that helps with the endorphins. I feel great after

I’ve just checked and I can - I’m going to give it a go. Did bikram when I lived in London but never been a studio here when I’ve checked previously. This is EXCITING!

3 kids at those ages and a job means your stress levels will likely remain high until they're in secondary or you reduce your hours.

I think you're looking for a needle ina haystack medically. You know why.

Do you have hEds?

Oh sorry, in work mode still :)

Basically there are a lot of things going on in your life, stressful job, 3 young kids, husband away a lot. That all takes up a lot of your time, lots of pressure. So very natural to feel stressed.

You're already doing a lot to relieve stress, but what about reducing the sources of stress in the first place?

You say you can't change anything for a few years but we're talking about your health here. Are you sure there's nothing you can do? A bit less at work, new routines with kids, buy in more help?

Basically address the source of the issue, not the symptoms

I don’t, sorry. Do you mean it’s simply stress and there’s nothing to be done other than remove sources of stress? Or do you mean it’s peri?

Im willing to accept it could be either - but at the moment changing my work is not an option. Even if further investigation just confirms that or changes merely paper over the cracks trying has to be better than just giving up, no?!

NHS is cheap and usually only test TSH. You need T3 and T4 tested because you can have thyroid issue with normal TSH.

You haven't seen an endocrinologist at all yet? Definitely a next step.

Read up on adrenal fatigue also xx

I'm hypermobile and have adhd. I also really enjoy the aerobics classes but had to stop after an injury. Pilates has become my go to and I do it one to one with an instructor who is hot on making sure I don't overextend my joint and mixes it up enough to keep me interested.

You've been through a lot with your health which will take a toll. Do you take a good mutli vitamin and omegas? I might have missed it in your posts.

Honestly? You might just need a break. I don't mean a holiday - I mean do less. I'm younger than you but much of your post resonates. I kept going until my body couldn't do anymore.

The things that seem to have helped most are being in nature lying in bed with a book, pottering about...basically spending as much of my free time like a retiree as possible! There's a term for it but I can't remember what, where you get your exercise more from daily activity rather than fitness classes. I know it's hard to do with kids too.

There are also other medications for anxiety and I agree about exploring hrt.

No - my insurers are dickheads, which puts me off even trying. But I will

Ah are you not in the UK?
See if you can order a home test, you prick your finger and send the blood test in the post.

I am in the uk but chance of seeing consultant on NHS here are slim to none in a remotely viable time frame. I got a chest xray appt, after 9 months, the letter for which turned up … more than a week after the appt. So as we have insurance, I use it when I can. It’s quicker and means I have some option as to who I see.

Cortisol and its effects will be harming you. I feel the effects of it too. I’m 58 and really want to step down from this job but can’t yet. I feel your pain.

I see, it is frustrating isn't it. I had to go private myself to make any progress.

You can get the home thyroid kits from boots and other online pharmacies, but do check to see if you already had the full panel

I was tired for years, and then discovered via a private CT scan that I had a lung condition called bronchiectasis. It makes you prone to chest infections. It’s common for people to have it for a long time before being diagnosed. I’m much better now that I manage it. You would need to see a respiratory specialist (doctor) to arrange the CT scan.

Exactly it sounds like stress and until you change your lifestyle I doubt it will change. I do empathize. I've had tones of blood work done privately and have tried multiple forms of medication but ultimately I had to slow the fuck down. I went part time and stopped at 2 kids. Friends in similar situations changed jobs, reduced hours or got more paid help (childcare, cleaning etc).

I guess I’m not prepared to give up my job or give one of the children away. So I’m doing the following

• I’ve emailed Drs to see if I can get a referral to a private endocrinologist
• getting on my vitamin game - I know they work much better if you take them
• Ive set out some simple work protocols to help me think less about what I need to do to get going and stop deadlines creeping up on me
• going to horses tomorrow to talk about riding more (doesn’t help the dressage twat has injured himself again)
• getting out with my younger dog more - working out timing for this
• going to swim twice a week and hot yoga once a week - for now.

I’m going to look into the cold therapy thing too.

Thanks for the input.

What about mould exposure? Can cause all kinds of symptoms including anxiety

I’ll look into it but no obvious source so maybe not likely?

You’re right, stress does kill. At least that’s what the research now tells us. See a functional health specialist, happy to recommend an amazing one for you if you DM me. I work in a similar field.

Rheumatologist? Your symptoms sound like mine! I have RA cold water sea swimming helps

The one thing that jumped out from your OP was the fact that you stress stems from your partner.

I would guess you have a partner problem and are busily trying to explain your stress away in any other way, and busily focusing on yoga and diet etc instead of the issue with him?