Spincter injury, fistula - support eachother?

[Cyee]

Hi everyone,

Wonderful weather we're having

I am propped up in bed post-hospital and I was wondering if anyone out there knows of, or would enjoy/benefit from, a thread or support site for people who have experienced the above (sphincter damage, fistula etc.) as a result of childbirth.

In my own experience, this whole area is a bit taboo. In fact the consultants reckon there are many women who have some symptoms related to the above, who never seek treatment. The thought of women embarrassed to discuss these matters is awful, yet that seems to be the case.

So - this (while souped up on painkillers) is a call to arms:

• Is there a site out there for women like us?
• If not, would you like there to be?
• Would a thread on MN especially for this, be useful?
• Would it be useful to share experiences with consultants/physios/hospitals/procedures?

If these matters resonate with you or anyone you know, it would be great if you could point them in this direction. I'm going to post in the 'health' and 'childbirth' sections too.

I know too well the taboo around this. I posted on MN when I got my diagnosis and used a different name...

Hope to hear from some people soon.

Cyee
(successfully repaired as of last Wednesday (fingers/legs crossed))

Cheers for bubblerock, I'm so glad your op went well (isn't it a relief when they pull out the packing???) but and [concern] at you collapsing!! I guess you just stood up too fast?
Glad you're home and feeling good - you take it easy, you hear?
(((((HUG))))

Aww, thanks Jacksmama - think it was the sunshine & standing up too fast (nothing to do with the fag I'd just had ). I did laugh at the physio chat though, she told us girls that had had a repair that we would eventually have 'designer vaginas' and to let our husbands know that the wait would be worth it - she said 'keep dangling the carrot' and I thought of you guys and your various sized carrots

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bubblerock - Delighted things went well apart from the collapse - must have been scary! Hope your recovery continues to go well.

LOL at the physio - hah!!!!

Sounds good bubblerock, apart from the collapsing. I hope all carries on going well.

How are you doing Bubblerock?

Hope the period pains have lessened Jacksmama - feel for you I was sooo depressed when my periods came back after breastfeeding.

I feel better, thank you. But I can personally attest to the effects of oxytocin re its uterine contraction powers - I had a few moments over the weekend when Jackbaby was nursing and I was breathing like I tried to through labour pains. Not Fun. But almost over now... I wonder if I'll be as regular as I was before or what's going to happen. I was one of those women with mythical 28-29 day cycles.

I wondered the same thing. And slotted straight back into my 33 day cycles. Weird.

Hmmm. Well, I suppose if I go back to my old cycles at least I'll be prepared... as opposed to wondering when the heck AF is going to show up every month.

Hi Cyee - not too bad thanks, bit sore and itchy, I guess it's just the stitches.

Really hoping I'll avoid AF completely with the coil fitted. I didn't have them for 2 years with the implant but they had just started to come back irregularly which was annoying. I still have the implant in so will have to sort that out too.

How's everyone else??

Hey Bubblerock - glad you're doing ok. I'm thinking about getting the coil once I have finished procreating (!) so interested to know how you find it

I have just had a salad and been on the treadmill. Can someone explain why I don't have such good intentions for my non-pg life??

Hope everyone's doing ok.

HI ALL

bubblerock you sound amazing considering the op you have just had i remember how awful i felt afterwards ......... anyways am so glad your feeling well.

coil yikes i had one once never again..it hurt having it inserted i bled for 3 months constantly.........i then begged them to remove it and what relief i felt.

Dh has had snip now so no contraception needed..........not that its needed with the no action anymore

I think it helped that I was going to be under General Anaesthetic anyway so figured may as well let them do the lot - hopefully I won't get too many side effects, I've pretty much tried everything (depo injection, pill, implant, diaphram..) and they all seem to have some disadvantage. I'm hoping that having the D&C will have given me a good clear out and stop any bleeding. DH won't have the snip he's scared of needles! .

I keep looking at the eliptical trainer and wishing I could go on it - how come I didn't feel like that before?? Sat here with a glass of wine instead

Hi Cyee, and everyone else on this thread. I'm eventually settled and have my broadband up and running - Cyee you wouldnt believe how long it takes to get things done over here sometimes!! But it's all good.

From what I can gather you are pregnant - MANY CONGRATS!!!!! I'm delighted for you.

Not alot happening with me, story so far is that I'm anatomically fine. But after i have read the last few threads, i feel a lil left behind in terms of the bedroom situ, i still cannot .... 1year and two months on. Hilarious really after all the surgery now all i need is a brain transplant. My DH must be a saint ?!

Anyway good to hear you are all enjoying the champers?!?! Think I'll have to invest in a bottle or two for when i sign on again .

DMCT! I was just thinking about you the other day! Great to see you and delighted you are hooked back up to t'internet and that you're well settled back on the emerald isle.

Sorry to hear things aren't happening in the bedroom department... yet. It takes time and we're all different but yes your DH is a saint When we were 'on the wagon' I admit I was totally and utterly selfish in the sense that I wasn't for ... erm... providing 'services' when I wasn't up for partaking myself. How bad is that?!

Definitely join us for some champers ^

Morning all, just a quick message from me. I have my endorectal scan today. My mum is coming with me and looking after dd.

She has also chatted with a colorectal consultant she knows who has said he is happy to do any surgery I might need or failing that he will write to a consultant he highly recommends and I can have it here.

SDD and I are then going back to my mums for a few days to let dh get undistrubed sleep visit the family. I probably won't get a chance to post today but perhaps tomorrow.

Ok, I am off to shave my legs and make sure my lady-garden is pruned.

Hope you're all sober well.

Good luck Hullabalulu!! Have a nice time at your Mums

goodluck lulu

and enjoy spending time at your mums..... it is nice to spend time away isnt it or maybe im just thinking i need to go away im writing a court report and am sooooo incredibly tired and i have to file in tomorrow argh!!!!!!!!!! i best get typing

then i will need bottles of any alcohol

Good luck hullaballulu! Glad it's not just me who's fastidious about personal pruning when someone's going to be inserting objects in your regions!

Thanks everyone!

Well, scan done. It was actually more embarrassing than I expected. The doctor was young, attractive and friendly. I'd have prefered a bit of cold indifference.

He told me that the procedure shouldn't hurt so to tell him if it did. I braced myself for discomfort but no...I hardly knew it was there. That should have been a clue that the result wasn't going to be great!

He said the outer muscle looks to have been stitched tightly and healed well but the inner muscle which is used for control is very damaged and much harder to repair. This doesn't really mean much to me but it doesn't sound good does it? I have an appointment at the perineal clinic next week to discuss the results.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. My mum said she's surprised I've taken the news like this because I knew from my symptoms it wasn't going to be good but actually I kind of expected to be sent home and told to do pelvic floor exercises.

So if its surgery how long do I go in for? When do they do it? I was hoping to bf for a while and this is on my mind. Will it mean going back to the pain I had after the tear? And that awful, shaking with fear everytime I need to go to the toilet?

I know I should wait to hear what they say next week but its been on my mind all night (I had lots of time to think about it, dd was up 7 times!)

I don't know what it means HullabaLuLu but I hope you can keep calm until you get your results.

Enjoy your trip.

Hi HullabaLuLu,

I haven't read all about your case, but if it's a sphincter repair they might be doing, do not worry too much. The pain post op was not half as bad as after the birth/tear. I had my op 5 months after i had my son, i wont lie the toilet situation wasn't great for me as i got v constipated as i was on some strong and therefore constipating drugs, but you can always stay away from those ones. And once i went (it did take a good few days post op) i was fine after that.
I was in hospital for a week, but i had another repair carried out at the same time, so you may be in for a shorter period. I honestly couldn't believe that it wasn't near as bad as first time round, you begin to feel better pretty quickly - not in the run around the house and go for a cycle kinda way, but you feel alot better than after the birth.

Hope this helps a bit....

Me again, just read your original post Hullabalulu, found it a few pages back. Sorry it happened to you it, it is bloody horrible.

But what i forgot to say in my last post was that THE OP WORKS, NO MORE INCONTINENCE, NO MORE ESCAPING WIND.

It takes time, and as you can see from my previous posts I'm not exactly perfect yet (anatomically nearly, in the bedroom dept not at all, but at least i can go out and about without the fear or farting or worse in company!

Anyway I had better get my sons lunch ready...

Hullaballu,

I TOTALLY know what you mean about the wanting the person to be a troll!!! Mine wasn't exactly a dish but still... was normal looking... I had to comfort myself with the thought that my behind might compare more favourably to the older, male and female arses they usually see

In terms of what it means, I don't know, however I do know that the inner control muscle was also the one that was damaged for me. What this means is, in very blunt terms, your bum stays shut well, but once the urge to 'go' comes the ability to hold it back is diminished.

I know it's a huge knock to get what feels like bad news. However my advice is wait until you see the consultant. You are in the excellent position of having an inside track to a good surgeon and there are very likely some better at this repair than others. They can do amazing things these days and the options for younger people are greater still (remember most colorectal patients, the people who's bums he usually scans) are older with less resilient/repairing tissue and who've already suffered surgical or cancer damage. So while I'm sure the scanner is competent, he's not the expert.

I really feel for you though - I also was just waiting for someone to tell me it wasn't as bad as they thought or that it would heal by itself... it's an awful position for us lovely healthy women to be faced with such uncertainty and concern about these private but oh so important processes.

Anyway (((HUGS)))

... and hi again DMCT. Loving having you back

Hi lulu - just very quickly - when I had my op it was exactly as everyone above said - not nearly as bad as when I had Jackbaby. Pain was manageable, and I was up and around quite quickly. About breastfeeding - if you're worried about drugs passing into your breast milk, don't. Only very minimal amounts pass through, and considering that women who have had C-sections can breastfeed newborns, there's nothing to worry about for an older child. If you're worried about being in hospital for a few days, take a breat pump with you and ask that your DD be brought in so you can feed her. That will allow you to keep your milk supply going.

Must dash, but will check back later.
((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) and don't worry about reacting the way you did - I totally know how you feel. Part of me was terrified that the surgeon would tell me to give my head a shake and that I was fine... when I knew I was not... but when she actually took a look and was shocked at how bad it looked inside me, I was almost feeling worse because it was somehow quite awful to be told that it was in fact as bad, if not worse, than I thought. I know, doesn't necessarily make sense, but feelings sometimes don't.