Spincter injury, fistula - support eachother?

[Cyee]

Hi everyone,

Wonderful weather we're having

I am propped up in bed post-hospital and I was wondering if anyone out there knows of, or would enjoy/benefit from, a thread or support site for people who have experienced the above (sphincter damage, fistula etc.) as a result of childbirth.

In my own experience, this whole area is a bit taboo. In fact the consultants reckon there are many women who have some symptoms related to the above, who never seek treatment. The thought of women embarrassed to discuss these matters is awful, yet that seems to be the case.

So - this (while souped up on painkillers) is a call to arms:

• Is there a site out there for women like us?
• If not, would you like there to be?
• Would a thread on MN especially for this, be useful?
• Would it be useful to share experiences with consultants/physios/hospitals/procedures?

If these matters resonate with you or anyone you know, it would be great if you could point them in this direction. I'm going to post in the 'health' and 'childbirth' sections too.

I know too well the taboo around this. I posted on MN when I got my diagnosis and used a different name...

Hope to hear from some people soon.

Cyee
(successfully repaired as of last Wednesday (fingers/legs crossed))

Thanks Jacksmama was thinking along the same lines myself re: getting seen by making a pest of myself.

Ouch, PL that doesn't sound good. I'm with Jacksmama about this been a general "damaged bits" thread now. And we're not saying bits to be coy, just to cover everything. There's no coyness or TMI, so feel free to post away.

sawyer you def should get a follow up appointment.......as for tampons NOOOOOO i could nto evn dream about that.

I am healing which is good am releived this infection is now healing as im starting to feel more 'normal' every day.

PL im feeling sore for you good luck when seeing the doc

Im gonna have a look at mine again tonight and see if the swelling has gone down enough for me to see anything.....shuld be interseting

Thats how I felt kentmumtj.

First time I used a Tampon,I literally came out in a cold sweat.

I was amazed that it felt ok.It was actually a relief to use one after 6 weeks of pads.
They were actually making me sorer!

I am so glad I haven't had a period since I had Jackbaby, as I hate pads, but I'm with you all on tampons - I can't even contemplate the thought without shuddering.

I also really can't bear to have a look/ feel around in there. I don't know if I could see anything anyway since all my damage was internal, but I cannot bring myself to feel around. That's something I really feel sad about - I used to feel so comfortable with my body, and now I just don't. Not only do I tense when DH touches me, but I don't even want to touch myself when I'm showering.

Sawyer - be a pest. Go on, you can do it!!

Oh dear I am feeling quite faint at the thought of tampons. A friend of mine suggested a mooncup last week (though I haven't had a period yet and probably won't for ages as BF) and I'm not sure who was more horrified - me at the thought of using one, or my friend when I explained why I couldn't

Actually it is quite a relief to be able to talk about my raggedy bits here because in RL it is just far TMI for most people. So thanks everyone for being so welcoming.

Jacksmama I sympathise re your DH. I feel just the same when mine comes near me and I feel sorry for him and myself too. I know it is going to be ages before I can even contemplate the thought of being intimate and in the meantime I interpret every hug as a request for sex (which is isn't) and tense up

sawyer have i missed a post or not??? how did the weekend go with er sexual activity ???? i know im sounding nosey but im interested for my own sake.

Ive had a look at mine and can still see stitches im 5 weeks post op. Someone said about touching htemselves down there when washing i can say i cant touch my self when washing as it still feels sooooo sore and tender although i can now sit and drive

I dont know how far the stitching goes back on my perineum and am scared to look does anyone else know who's had these external stitches.

i want to know if anyone has managed to look er inside or just as far as they can see if so what can you see?????

See here and Scrolldown

Wish I had something positive to add.Haven't tried again.Going to try jacksmama's tip about the Xylocaine Gel.

I have tried to look inside,can't see much,could see some stitches,and feel them,but now can't.

oh yea ouch ouch ouch

well maybe your not quite ready, bit of a strange question here and i dont know if im going to explain it properly but i shall try.

when looking up inside as much as i an which isnt that much but i can sort of see skin??? ii think thats what it is small sort of skin ttags or possibly small pieces of flesh hanging. Im not explaining this properly am i . Thats why i was asking if anyone else had looked at themselves. I know i did not have this before the op. DH has looked as well he couldnt help me explain how/what it is? it looks like small dangly bits of skin and i dont think it should be there.

Im ever so worried now

Could it be the skin between the stitches bulging a bit? [otherwise not very helpful emoticon]
I should get it checked, if I were you...

I think they are supposed to "fold " the skin over to repair it,so that the wall is reinforced.

If you can imagine that with material,it would probably look "untidy",especially as
Jacksmama says,it will probably bulge a bit.

I would imagine its "normal" but best to get it checked as you will worry.

thanks guys i will get it checked out my dh said exactly the same as he thinks it still looks a bit swollen so maybe its nothing to worry about and completly normal i will quiz the consultant on the 9th.

i would be very upset if it stayed looking "untidy"

Quickie from me despite having so many good points to reply to!

Sorry the action didn't go to plan. It's going to take everyone different times to get ready. I think I was about 8 weeks ish, and I was still very tentative.

On the appearance front, also not sure I'll explain this very well, but I do have a small flap of skin in my perineum (my procedure was done via this) but that's the only indication something ever happened. My memory is that it took AGES for the swelling to go down fully. So yes I'm a bit untidy but it doesn't get in the way of any of my processes other than requiring attention to wiping

Meant to add - I actually had a tiny skin flap there anyway hence I'm maybe more ok with it. You'd never notice it to look at, and in fact my DH would probs never notice/see it as (in my case!) it's all a bit wrinkly down below. lol.

at "wrinkly bits"... to go with wrinkly tums...?

Hoorah! My "being a pest" has worked! I have an appointment with a lady doc tonight.

Tried "£$* again last night. Still sore on perineum,too sore to get any further,even though all the "before stuff" was fine.

Poor DH,he's struggling too,difficult to "function" properly,when your lovers face has grimaces on it instead of ectasy LOL.

Gotta laugh

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and your appointment, Sawyer, if you keep yours crossed for me - I have my check-up this afternoon.
Good luck!!!

sawyer ouch your making me squirm in my seat if i were you i would leave it another week, glad you got an appointment at last

Hope it went well Jacksmama.

Thinking of you.....

My Virtual Hand got squeezed a bit,hope it wasn't too bad.

Thanks kentmumtj

yes how did it all go today jaksmama
is everything how it er should be??

sawyer ive heard so much about intercourse being painful following this op, i guess the doc can check if you have healed as you should ..hope so

Me too kentmumtj.

But my "problem" doesn't seem as severe as some.So hoping it will all heal,and be ok.

I'm still having a tiny amount of discharge,and took my temp at work today and it was 37.9 C.So still don't think things are right,yet.

ouch that doesnt spund too good maybe you have an infection????

think mine has def cleared up this time thank goodness

Update
Been to see a lovely lady GP,who was very kind and gentle.

Listened to all my symptoms: Slight Temp,Backache,Tummyache,and discharge.

Had a look and used a Speculum very gently.

She says I have definitely still got an infection.I need to take Co-Amoxiclav (like before) and Metronidazole.

She was saying something about usually needing to take metronidazole for vaginal infections,either alone or with something else.
Apparently its what they prescribe Post Delivery,when theres infection.

Anyway,first time i have been seen by a doctor since before my Op,so hopefully things will improve now.

Hello everybody
I am new to posting on mumsnet and have been hovering round this thread for several days reading and wondering whether to post or not. You all seem to be handling what has happened to you very bravely. I just wish I could address my problem too. Here is my story:
I gave birth to my third child four months ago. After taking a year to heal from an anal fissure after the birth of my 2nd child 3 years ago, I begged and pleaded to have a c-section this time, but was given the brush off, despite having regular scans because my baby looked so big. Anyway, I went into labour naturally (10 days late) and after an hr of pushing, I was exhausted and asked the Dr to help me, which she did using a ventouse with no episiotomy. After my waters broke, I told the midwife I was so scared of giving birth because the scans showed my baby's head to be above the top centile in width. I stated I was scared because his head was projected to be 39cm. I was told they had never delivered a baby with a head that big and not to worry as scans were often wrong. Well, although my son weighed 9lb which isn't excessive, his head was indeed 39cm and his height was also off the scale. I was told I had sustained a 2nd degree tear (each pregnancy has resulted in a 2nd degree tear) which wasn't "too bad". Well, within a week of giving birth, it was obvious that the anal fissure had recurred, but I also noticed I was passing wind vaginally. I just put this down to a weak pelvic floor, but then a couple of weeks ago I had a horrible stomach bug where I had diarrhoea which came out the wrong way. I was so shocked, I went to the emergency weekend GP in tears who said the first thing she would do if she was my regular Gp would be to carry out a smear test. I have a fear of internal exams and am embarrassed to say I had never had a smear even though I'm in my mid thirties. She got me worried that the cause of my symtpoms was cancer. This was going round and round in my head, until last week I eventually went to my local walk-in family planning clinic for my first smear. I told the nurse who did it about my problems and she basically said it was life-threatening as I could get peritonitis. Then, yesterday, I spoke to my practice nurse and she seemed also to think it was really serious and I could see she was also thinking about cancer. The thing is, this has all only happened since I gave birth and now I am so scared I don't know what to do. My Gp surgery doesn't have a woman dr, and even if they did I just feel too frightened to be examined in case it's something awful. If it is a fistula caused by childbirth, then I am just too scared to have surgery in that area. I feel like I am living in a nighmare.

I've just re-read all that, and I'm sorry to have gone on for so long. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance from people that kind of know what I'm talking about.

Thank you