What's your weirdest injury?

[ThisPlumShark]

Fell off a slide

Loo roll holder had come off the wall so loo roll was temporarily placed on top of the cistern instead. Twisted round to get some & tore my rotator cuff.

I got shin splints after using the leg press machine at the gym. Lifting far too heavy, far too quickly.
It was surprisingly painful, especially going down any stairs or slight slope. I was mid 20s at the time and hobbling around for a good week or so.

Also nearly cut the end of my finger tip off whilst cutting a frozen bun. Luckily, it didn’t go all the way through, but I needed stitches and have a cool little scar now.

Dropped one of the large jars of marmite on my big toe. Apparently the noise I made was what brought DH sprinting from the top floor of the house because ‘the last time you made a noise like that you were having a baby.’ He confessed later that he seriously thought I’d had a concealed pregnancy and was giving sudden birth in the kitchen!’ A fractured toe was a bit less impressive!

Years ago some cameras had little flash cubes on them. I tried to take a photo of my sister but had the camera the wrong way round and the flash burnt my forehead.

Dropped a cereal bowl from full height that ended up right on my big toe nail whilst unloading dishwasher. Oh my gosh the pain. The nail ended up black and blue, falling off, and needing minor op on the nail, all during Covid time so everything took forever 🙄🫣 I still get anxiety now unloading dishwasher if I am just wearing socks / barefoot as no protection in case I manage to cause myself further injury 😂

It could be the time the dog tripped me up going out the back door and I broke my wrist, or the time I broke my foot as a spectator at a marathon.

I slipped on some ice, landed awkwardly and broke my leg in 3 places. Six months in plaster cast. 3 months before I could go upstairs

I fell under a train. (It was stationary) I just slipped on the step up to the door.
The only injury I had was a wierd shaped bruise on my leg. It was quite dramatic colours and though it didn't really hurt I used it to get a few days off work. Which I was given without question because it looked so dramatic.
I also shouted at the man who rescued me because I was frightened when he grabbed me.
I feel bad about that to this day. Tbf though its quite scary falling under a train

Running late and seeing my bus pulling up I pushed open a swing door so hard it swung back and gave me a very impressive black eye. Worst bit was no one believed me when I said I really did walk into a door.

1. Was closing the lid on my cordless Dyson and trapped my nipple in it.

1. Fell backwards onto the water well of a wallpaper steamer and sat on the pressure release button, boiling hot steam shot up and burned all of my upper thighs.

I'm always injuring myself in stupid ways.
Cut my finger open slicing bread
Broke my toe opening a door
Broke a finger coming down the stairs
Burned my leg whilst ironing
Busted a blood vessel in my eye washing my hair
Broke a finger trying to catch a balloon
Nearly broke my nose when a can of hairspray fell on me

There are probably many more. Usually I just find ransom bruises and have to think back to what minor slip or spacial misjudgement happened.

I slipped on a magazine which I’d thrown down on the floor and cracked the back of my head open in the fireplace hearth, it was glued back together.

Another one, I was getting something out the garage barefoot and broke two toes on the lawnmower walking into it.

I have loads
Stepped on a brush, Tom and Jerry style it smacked me in the face and gave me a black eye
Destoning an avocado I put the knife straight thru my hand 😂I didn't even bother going to hospital
the most painful was slipping on a style and whacking my vulva on the cross bar - excruciating - I was bruised ever colour of the rainbow for months 😣

I trapped my nipple trying to push a paint roller sleeve onto the handle bit 😳 I’ve never felt pain like it!!

Somehow stepped into straightening irons I’d left on the floor. Took a second to realise why the sudden pain and got a perfectly squared off blister/wound on bottom of my foot that took weeks to heal

Carpet burn on forehead....
I was enjoying a nice bubble bath and a huge spider decided to join me. I have never moved so fast as I did getting out that bath. Well I managed to miss the bath mat and slipped onto my ass, in a panic I was rushing trying to get away and just kept sliding everywhere (think Bambi on ice) 1 final slip right next to the door and faceplanted hallway carpet and ended up with carpet burn
Was interesting telling people at work when they asked 🤣

Oh my, you are my people! I've broken a toe by kicking my car wheel in anger when it wouldn't start. I have a permanent dent in my forehead from an unpleasant encounter with a low canal bridge. I locked my back lifting a tent out of the understairs cupboard 15 years ago and it's never been right since. I slipped getting out of the bath when drunk and had to take a hand sized bruise on my thigh on holiday with me next day. I fell downstairs while holding my 3 month old baby - slipped and careered down on my bottom clutching him tightly so I didn't drop him. I sliced my thumb open wirh a Stanley knife while removing old silicone from round the bath without sturdy gloves.
That's just the ones I can remember. I'm like a fat, white, female Mr Bump.

Another one, whacked my nose when closing the car boot. Fortunately not broken, but I've still got a scar.
And another, somehow held the box cutter the wrong way round when unpacking after moving house and sliced my hand.

It’s not a stupid injury….it’s stupied circumstances leading to the injury 🫠 We’ve just moved into a new house. The stairs are carpeted, except for the bottom two steps, which are varnished wood, which makes no sense to me. Why wouldn’t you carpet the whole thing?!!
Which I yelled as I sat in a crumpled heap at the bottom this morning after slipping down the last two steps and smashing my lower back on both 🥴

Omg I'm crying with laughter at these!
Trapped my thumb when shutting a car door that I was a passenger in. Tge driver started to pull off, which was terrifying. Luckily he heard my screams and stopped. My thumb was a spectacular colour and I completely lost the nail.

I have a scar on my wrist.
I caught it on a piece of model train track about 10 years ago. It bled a lot despite not being deep.

Cutting the stalks off a bunch of flowers, I also cut off the end of my middle finger.
Much blood, much pain.

This is so outing, but I broke my foot having sex. I was a naive late teen (years ago) we used baby oil we got busy and I "slipped off" and fell off the bed and broke my foot.

I cracked my coccyx sliding down the stairs on a metal teatray. I was 32.

I broke my ribs getting on a train. They tell you to mind the gap and I fell through it

I have difficulty doing up buttons so on shirts / pyjama tops I just leave the top 2/3 buttons undone and put the top over my head. In doing so one morning, I pulled something in my shoulder