How do I get a GP to take my 3yo health seriously

[ToreMyselfIntoPieces]

Buckle up - it might be a long one. It's nearly 2am and I'm exhausted (of course).

My DD is 3.5yo. since she was born we have had constant health issues, she's literally always sick with something or another. I don't mean she gets colds, runny nose and coughs here and there. I mean dry hacking cough every night, vomiting several times a night 2-3 times a week, gastro, viral infections, diarrhea, tonsillitis. You name it, she's had it. Every other night she has a fever (over 38°) and that is NOT an exaggeration.

She has never slept through the night, she coughs herself awake all night long. She sits up in bed or walks around or snores herself awake. She must be absolutely exhausted all the effing time - I know I am!

From about 7/8months old she started vomiting overnight - all night long - I'm talking major volume and 5-6times a night. It only slowed once I'd nightweaned her from BF-ing so she literally had nothing to chuck up, then it turned into the hacking cough instead which sometimes leads to vomiting. The GP prescribed Omeprazole (even though I told them it wasn't reflux cause it STARTED at 7/8m) and that did nothing at all. The vomit still came.

Now, if she just cries, she vomits, it's like a natural response because she has vomited so much in her life.

She currently has Glue ear. We are waiting for surgery for grommets. She has had it for 6 months. She has had 3 ear infections since Feb 2024, she has had gastroenteritis 5 times, and HF&M. She caught impetigo last week. She's got a fever again tonight.

We've tried her dairy, soy and gluten free for 4 months - didn't make a difference. We have been referred to a gastro specialist and they did major allergens testing (skin prick) and she isn't allergic to anything they tested for.

She's on probiotics supplements for her gut and multivitamins for her general health. I rub magnesium butter into her feet and legs every night. She eats whole and healthy foods, and will drink well. Doesn't really have sweet food and WHEN she is healthy is a super active 3.5yr old. Nursery says she's kind, pleasant and listens really well.

But she's sick ALL THE TIME and I'm exhausted. We have another DD (11m) and now I'm sure that her regular illness isn't normal as our youngest is not the same at all. I had nothing to compare it to before.

I keep telling the GP there isn't something underlying going on but they just DONT HEAR ME. they just treat the symptoms in front and don't listen that I'm sure it's all connected somehow. Adenoids? Immune system? Something else.

The GP must think I'm nuts going back all the time but I'm honestly exhausted. I haven't slept since the day she was born. My DH and I tag team sleeping through the worst nights but it can't go on anymore I genuinely am scared for myself if it doesn't get fixed. I am at my wits end.

Why won't they just look at the bigger picture of her health and stop writing it off as one thing after another?

Please is there anyone who can help or advise? What am I supposed to do? 😭😭

How do I get someone to actually see the whole situation and fix it?

Has she ever had a blood test or an asthma test? The fact that the coughing is whats producing the vomit and that is only happening at night time really IS indicative of asthma or reflux. Just because the symptoms started at 7 months doesn't mean anything - you can develop both asthma or reflux at any age/stage and just because the omeprazole didn't work - did they try upping the dose, did they try a different PPI, did they try infant gaviscon? Have you tried raising the head of her bed?

When you say she has a fever every other night - what happens in the morning is it mysteriously gone?

I would ask the GP for a referral to paediatric consultants since the gastro referral did nothing. I'd also be wanting at the very least a blood test to check for coeliacs and deficiencies. I know you say you did gluten free for 4 months but if it were to be coeliacs it can take a year for the gut to heal. How are her stools and eating/drinking habits? Is she delayed in anything (speech, motor skills?) sorry for so many questions just trying to cover all ground.

I'm astonished that she is not under the care of a paediatrician. Why not?

My son had reflux that started at 8 months old. He also used to cough and then vomit. The gag reflex and the cough reflux are very close especially in kids. He eventually grew out of it.

we don’t get sick much and I think it’s because we eat lots of fresh vegetables. Nearly every meal has fresh onion garlic carrot zucchini ect. All grated up. Plus lots of broccoli and sweet potato and cauliflower. I include vegies some way or another every dinner.

what exactly do you mean by healthy food? Like I knew someone who considered store bought banana bread as eating fruit. And someone else who only cooked vegetables once a week for their kids and thought that was heaps and her kids had a great healthy diet.

I am sorry you are having a rough time. Trying to unpick her symptoms is not easy but it sounds like she has two problems that I would think need to be excluded. It sounds like she has reflux. Have you tried infant gaviscon? It also sounds like she may have asthma. I would insist on your GP referring you to the paediatric clinic. It is your right to be referred. If your GP practice does econsults I would put one in explaining her symptoms in detail and stating this is what you want. What is her weight and height doing on the centile charts? You can measure her and look it up in your red book. If she is small for her age or underweight this would be useful to know for the referral. Good luck

Also another thought is she refluxing and aspirating it into her lungs a little or at lest irritating her epiglottis making her cough? Just an afterthought

No kids should snore - that could be adenoids. Have you asked GP about that?

There are things you can do to help.

I was like this is a kid.

The operation for ears will help with the ear infections.

Multivitamins will help.

You need to see a dietician and do a proper exclusion diet to work out if there is an intolerance/allergy. Pinprick tests don't always discover it (they are skin and the issue is digestive)

There is limited stuff the GP can do in these cases.

Wedge pillow can also help with both asthma and reflux.

If she is coeliac then even crumbs of gluten will keep it live and grumbling and it can take a long long time for the gut to heal.

Dd was like this till she had her tonsils out and her health totally transformed. She had a 76% attendance record at school beforehand, she was just never well. Turned out a lot of the infections started in her throat. She also ended up with 2 hernias from all the vomiting.

No one spotted the issue till I paid for her to see a private ENT and in 3 mins he said those are the largest tonsils I've ever seen on a child that age. We paid for the op and it's the best thing we ever did for her health!

It could be asthma or reflux or an allergy. I have a dairy allergy and I vomit.
I do have sympathy with the lack of sleep as I have an 8 year old who wakes frequently and I’ve had two full nights sleep in the last 6 weeks! GP wasn’t much help either

I was also like this as a young child - but less of the vomitting. I don't remember it but my mum tells me I was almost permanently ill til I was about 3. At the time we lived in an old black and white cottage and my parents now put a lot of my sickness down to the fact my bedroom was possibly damp. Think cos it was the 80s they resisted bringing me into their bed a lot but one night my dad ended up sleeping in my bed and struggled to breath. Though we were due to move house in a few months they moved me into a different room which they'd avoided using as it was basically a corridor, and my health started to improve. It improved further after we moved house. Anyway, maybe worth considering any damp issues in your house. Also wanted to reassure that despite my first 3 years being constant sickness I have no long term health conditions. I was diagnosed with asthma aged about 8, and think I clearly had that younger, but i have not had symptoms since my early 20s

Honestly, we ended up going private. Our struggles haven't been as long as yours, but saved up/sold a lot of stuff and took the plunge and finally feel it's moving quickly. Almost unbelievably quickly. If you or your partner have health plan through work check to see if she's covered in any capacity.

I agree with the others who say it could be reflux with associating coughing due to aspiration or irritation. The lying down is a big giveaway to me.
PPIs don't work on everyone and there are others apart from omeprazole to try, there's also gaviscon as well which will create a barrier (I take it every night before bed). Try raising the matress as well and make sure she's not eating too close to bedtime. Then see if there's any improvement.
Has she had bloods for coeliac or inflammatory/infection markers? Stool test for h pylori?
You could see a fuctional medicine doctor - but make sure they are qualified, not a quack. They can do a GI map which checks the stool for bacteria (good and bad), inflammation markers and other things. You can buy a kit online for about £300 to send off and get results emailed to you but for a child it's probably best to get this done with a consultation.

I was like this - my first year at school I had the equivalent of a whole term off sick.
It was my tonsils - I never had tonsillitis, but they just weren't doing their job of fighting infection.
They were taken out and I improved almost overnight.
Even my asthma improved.

My son was like this. We went on a rotation of appointments from ENT to pulmonology to gastro, each saying it was one of the other two specialties. Suddenly aged six he outgrew it all.

Can you go private to a paediatrician? You need someone who is not overworked, underpaid and won't be looking to a screen during your visit.
I'm really sorry for your poor daughter, and for you: I really hope you find someone good who can listen and care 🙏

@Seeline that's so strange as dd has asthma too and her asthma also improved after the op. I'm glad you're feeling better now!

Has she ever had a swab taken and sent off, from her ear?
You can get some rather intransigent infections like Pseudomonas, for example, that need specific antibiotics and a longer course...it could be causing spikes in temperature.

I'd also ask about asthma and get a trial inhaler, nighttime cough is v common in asthma.

Is her weight normal?

Lastly, I wonder whether the vomiting has a " learned" element to it?
Ie, she has learnt and associates coughing with vomiting, therefore it always happens when she coughs.

I, too, would push for a paed assessment, as it needs time, experience and a pragmatic approach to addressing all the symptoms.

Gosh, OP, I can feel your exhaustion from here!

Yes she's been given an inhaler which we used for 8 months and it didn't make a difference.

We also tried infant gavsiscon and it also didn't seem to work. We tried that for about 2 weeks before they moved her to Omeprazole

I must ask about the blood test I didn't know that was a thing for kids but yes, I must remember to ask to look for deficiency

Haven't asked about the ear swab, but we are seeing audiologists for her glue ear in a week so I can ask them maybe??

I should have said, she had an inhaler for 8 months and it didn't help 😭

My DD used to vomit constantly. We were prescribed montelukast which was life changing. An asthma medicine that nope a up the windpipe.

Thanks for this detailed answer 🙏🏼

No she hasn't had a blood test - but I've added it to my list to ask for it to happen! They won't test for asthma as she is too young but they did give us an inhaler which didn't work - a brown one we used for 8 months!
We have tried infant gavsiscon and she is already raised in bed, we got one of those wedges for her bed to prop her up.

Her stools are explosive and pretty runny but very regular. They also smell horrific. When she was younger her poo was always green which my HV said was a sign of allergy but the GP said it wasn't so I don't know who is right.

Her speech is great and actually quite advanced (when her hearing isn't playing up) and gross motor skills are on track apart from she's very clumsy and trips/falls a lot but they think that's the glue ear.

I would suggest seeing a specialist in frequent illness - Dr Morgan - private paediatrician & immunologist at Portland Hospital. Unfortunately NHS not likely to be the solution.

Okay so that's two symptoms of coeliacs so far then the vomiting and the explosive runny stools.

Does she have headaches, fatigue, pale skin, muscle aches? Also reflux in itself is a symptom of coeliacs, it's one of my sons symptoms and was uncontrollable until he went GF, it's now not gone but more controllable with PPI as he's still in the healing phase, 5 months gluten free.

Another suggestion which a lot of parents can feel is out of left field but is more common than you'd think - her explosive runny stools could be overflow from fecal loading which would also cause vomiting. You could push for an abdominal x-ray to check for this.

This is a really sensible knowledgeable post. Good advice . I agree with the GP and this poster that reflux is likely to be a factor.

I was going to say tonsils, my brother was exactly the same until he had them out, every month you could bet on him being off school at least twice with hacking cough, being sick, raging temperature. It all stopped the minute he came home from hospital.a