Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Embarrassing problem (bowel related)

108 replies

Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 20:59

I’ve never talked about this to anyone but I have been living with a problem for years and years. I guess it just became normal for me but I really think I need to start addressing the issue (I went away on holiday recently and it really impacted my trip) and I wondered if anyone had this same problem or could advise me where to start.

My problem is that I NEVER feel the need to go to the toilet (no2). Like ever. I get a horrible bloated tummy ache but it’s like the signal is just not reaching my bowel to release it. I can sometimes feel its close but it just won’t come out. I have to spend ages, up to an hour sat on the toilet to get the smallest amount out. Occasionally if I stand up after getting a small amount out, gravity will help and I can quickly sit back down and do more, but this is rare. And feels like a miracle when it happens. This has been going on for ages, 10 years plus, probably since childbirth so I wonder if I’ve been damaged in some way during labour.

I’ve been trying movicol incase I was constipated but I’m still not feeling the urge to go or finding it easy to get out. So I don’t think constipation is the issue. I exercise daily, eat well…I really think there is something not working right.

if I don’t do my daily sit on the toilet for ages to pass a small amount, I am in agony, look 6 months pregnant and get constipated because what I do pass becomes very dry where it’s been sat there for ages not coming out.

Im tempted to get a colonic but worrying if something is wrong inside it could make matters worse.

I have a doctors appt booked for a couple of weeks as I noticed that when I look down, I have a slight bulge on my right hand side of my tummy but this could just be my bowel. I still don’t know if I’m brave enough to go because I’ve heard a test for looking at this type of thing is being X rayed while attempting to go to the toilet. Which would be pointless for me as won’t happen.

I don’t even know how to start talking to a doctor about this…

I’ll post a pic of my tummy incase it gives any hints.

Sensitive content
Embarrassing problem (bowel related)
OP posts:
ForLimeRaven · 23/01/2025 21:05

Could be a hernia defiantly get checked at doctors
hope your okay x

Junaluma · 23/01/2025 21:10

You’re doing the right thing by going to the GP. Have you ever had any testing? Like colonoscopy?

CalamityK8 · 23/01/2025 21:12

You are probably impacted, OP, and have slow transit constipation, which could well be caused by changes to your pelvic floor post-birth. I imagine you have backache too.

Have you tried a proper course of Movicol, taking the recommended number of sachets per day, for several days or weeks, to get things moving? You might also need a stimulant laxative like Senokot, until things have cleared.

Also, glycerin suppositories will help to clear the bowel.

You need to make a plan and stick to it, first to get rid of the impaction, then dietary changes can make a real difference. Like adding linseeds to porridge every morning, pro and prebiotics, natural yoghurt, regular walking, plenty of green vegetables and fruit, and drink loads of water.

You are right about the video tests. I had that, and ended up having rectal prolapse surgery, which could have been avoided if I'd been taken seriously sooner. But if you address this now you might be able to avoid the surgical route.

MidnightBloom · 23/01/2025 21:12

Your doing the right thing going to see your doctor. Do you think anxiety could be making it worse? Have you tried breathing exercises or meditation on the toilet?

Washinglinewench29 · 23/01/2025 21:12

I have had similar since I was about 17 and I'm now in my mid thirties.
I have to take laxido sachets every single day to keep it moving, miss a day and it's back to square one.
I eat healthy and exercise and I just have a slow bowel apparently. The bulge could just be bloating and the blocked up bowel.

AlexandraJJ · 23/01/2025 21:13

I used to be like this a lot of the time and it was IBS none of one medication really worked but changing my diet has helped enormously

Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:13

Junaluma · 23/01/2025 21:10

You’re doing the right thing by going to the GP. Have you ever had any testing? Like colonoscopy?

No nothing. I’ve never discussed bowel issues with a doctor before. Or anyone for that matter. My husband doesn’t even know I have a problem. He thinks I’m in the bath every night when I’m actually trying to go to the toilet 😥

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:15

ForLimeRaven · 23/01/2025 21:05

Could be a hernia defiantly get checked at doctors
hope your okay x

Could be, the bulge gets bigger and smaller where as I imagine a hernia would be quite a constant size.

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:17

CalamityK8 · 23/01/2025 21:12

You are probably impacted, OP, and have slow transit constipation, which could well be caused by changes to your pelvic floor post-birth. I imagine you have backache too.

Have you tried a proper course of Movicol, taking the recommended number of sachets per day, for several days or weeks, to get things moving? You might also need a stimulant laxative like Senokot, until things have cleared.

Also, glycerin suppositories will help to clear the bowel.

You need to make a plan and stick to it, first to get rid of the impaction, then dietary changes can make a real difference. Like adding linseeds to porridge every morning, pro and prebiotics, natural yoghurt, regular walking, plenty of green vegetables and fruit, and drink loads of water.

You are right about the video tests. I had that, and ended up having rectal prolapse surgery, which could have been avoided if I'd been taken seriously sooner. But if you address this now you might be able to avoid the surgical route.

Did the rectal surgery work?

I have been taking movicol for about 4 days and still only able to pass a small amount and now it’s diarrhoea. Not sure what’s worse 😪
it made me want to stop the movicol but maybe I should keep trying with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:20

MidnightBloom · 23/01/2025 21:12

Your doing the right thing going to see your doctor. Do you think anxiety could be making it worse? Have you tried breathing exercises or meditation on the toilet?

I did wonder if it was anxiety related because I was always very shy going to the toilet as a child and would end up constipated if people were around and I didn’t want to be seen going in the toilet. Now I need complete privacy to even contemplate going so I did wonder if it’s a contributing factor. However, I can be alone and have the perfect opportunity and be desperate to go with a tummy ache but still no feeling down there to do anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:22

Washinglinewench29 · 23/01/2025 21:12

I have had similar since I was about 17 and I'm now in my mid thirties.
I have to take laxido sachets every single day to keep it moving, miss a day and it's back to square one.
I eat healthy and exercise and I just have a slow bowel apparently. The bulge could just be bloating and the blocked up bowel.

I eat relatively healthy, exercise daily, walk every day. Probably don’t drink enough water but I do eat better than most and everyone else seems to be able to go to the toilet normally…don’t know why me? I will keep going with the sachets although haven’t helped so far.

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:23

AlexandraJJ · 23/01/2025 21:13

I used to be like this a lot of the time and it was IBS none of one medication really worked but changing my diet has helped enormously

Please can you tell me what you eat to help you? I will try anything.

OP posts:
Mumto32022 · 23/01/2025 21:23

did you have any bad tears during Labour? I’m wondering if you had a 3rd degree tear misdiagnosed as a 2nd. You can have an endo anal scan to see if this has possibly been missed. I would definitely see your GP

Game0fCrones · 23/01/2025 21:23

You might have a rectocele, where the fecal matter sits in a pocket, thus allowing diarrhoea to bypass the main stool. This together with damaged nerves and slow transit could be what's happening.

CalamityK8 · 23/01/2025 21:23

Yes, the surgery worked but it was a long journey and with the knowledge I have now, could have been avoided. I have mesh, and there have been so many reports of mesh erosion it's a constant worry.

I would keep taking the Movicol, and also get some glycerin suppositories, and add Senokot to your regime until you feel it's all cleared.

Start the dietary changes now, and maintain them, so when you are clear you stop the Senokot and reduce the Movicol gradually, and keep the suppositories for when you feel there's stuff you can't empty.

PreferMyAnimals · 23/01/2025 21:24

Someone I know who suffered constipation as a child was told it can damage the rectal nerves, which then gives you no sensation to need to go. It's possible this is part of the issue? You're doing the right thing going to the GP as that is really what is needed at this stage. Could you talk to your DH for support?

CalamityK8 · 23/01/2025 21:25

There might well be a rectocele but glycerin suppositories will help to expel the stool.

Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:27

Mumto32022 · 23/01/2025 21:23

did you have any bad tears during Labour? I’m wondering if you had a 3rd degree tear misdiagnosed as a 2nd. You can have an endo anal scan to see if this has possibly been missed. I would definitely see your GP

Yes I had an episiotomy and tears with my first (twin) labour and tears again with my second labour. I’m not sure what degree the tears were.

OP posts:
CalamityK8 · 23/01/2025 21:29

Also get a stool to raise your legs above your bum, so you are more in a crouch position. That is the body's natural way to defecate.

Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:30

Game0fCrones · 23/01/2025 21:23

You might have a rectocele, where the fecal matter sits in a pocket, thus allowing diarrhoea to bypass the main stool. This together with damaged nerves and slow transit could be what's happening.

This does sound like it, as like I say i can sometimes feel it’s right there but won’t come out. I struggle to get the even smallest amount out. Any ideas if it’s fixable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:30

CalamityK8 · 23/01/2025 21:29

Also get a stool to raise your legs above your bum, so you are more in a crouch position. That is the body's natural way to defecate.

Have tried that many a time, doesn’t help sadly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:32

PreferMyAnimals · 23/01/2025 21:24

Someone I know who suffered constipation as a child was told it can damage the rectal nerves, which then gives you no sensation to need to go. It's possible this is part of the issue? You're doing the right thing going to the GP as that is really what is needed at this stage. Could you talk to your DH for support?

I should really but I’m not sure how supportive he would be, although it would probably help explain a lot of things and behaviours to him. Going on holiday is a major issue and I practically stop working all together and spend the holiday in agony.

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:33

PreferMyAnimals · 23/01/2025 21:24

Someone I know who suffered constipation as a child was told it can damage the rectal nerves, which then gives you no sensation to need to go. It's possible this is part of the issue? You're doing the right thing going to the GP as that is really what is needed at this stage. Could you talk to your DH for support?

And that’s very interesting that this could be related to that.

OP posts:
CalamityK8 · 23/01/2025 21:34

Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:30

Have tried that many a time, doesn’t help sadly.

Show quote history

Have you tried glycerin suppositories? They will help, I promise. Insert one as high up as you can, then lie down on your back for 15 minutes, or until you feel you need to go.

AlexandraJJ · 23/01/2025 21:37

Embarrassingproblemhelp · 23/01/2025 21:23

Please can you tell me what you eat to help you? I will try anything.

Show quote history

There are a lot of resources online about diet and constipation some of which don’t agree with me so pls don’t take what I eat as gospel. I don’t eat a lot and this helps and I don’t eat throughout the day either. Maybe a 4hr window the rational being that each day it all goes in at more or less at the same time to form a stool. I eat food with high water content and little to no sugar and this includes fruit although I will have a little bit very infrequently as it bloats me and bungs me up. Also low carb and especially things not containing white flour as this makes it worse for me too. Fresh food is better and for me the best protein is plain fish (no batter no sauce) and beef particularly lean steak. No fizzy drinks. The way you sit on the toilet may help, knees higher than hips, put each foot on a toilet roll on the floor and take something on with you to relax. Try not to tense up and I also when it’s bad use my fists and make downward movements like a massage from the mid back down to my buttocks to try and get things moving the right way. I know with me some of my gut was pushing the waste the right way and some the opposite way so it was stuck in the middle. Can’t guarantee it will work for you but some of it may help x