Embarrassing problem (bowel related)

[Embarrassingproblemhelp]

I’ve never talked about this to anyone but I have been living with a problem for years and years. I guess it just became normal for me but I really think I need to start addressing the issue (I went away on holiday recently and it really impacted my trip) and I wondered if anyone had this same problem or could advise me where to start.

My problem is that I NEVER feel the need to go to the toilet (no2). Like ever. I get a horrible bloated tummy ache but it’s like the signal is just not reaching my bowel to release it. I can sometimes feel its close but it just won’t come out. I have to spend ages, up to an hour sat on the toilet to get the smallest amount out. Occasionally if I stand up after getting a small amount out, gravity will help and I can quickly sit back down and do more, but this is rare. And feels like a miracle when it happens. This has been going on for ages, 10 years plus, probably since childbirth so I wonder if I’ve been damaged in some way during labour.

I’ve been trying movicol incase I was constipated but I’m still not feeling the urge to go or finding it easy to get out. So I don’t think constipation is the issue. I exercise daily, eat well…I really think there is something not working right.

if I don’t do my daily sit on the toilet for ages to pass a small amount, I am in agony, look 6 months pregnant and get constipated because what I do pass becomes very dry where it’s been sat there for ages not coming out.

Im tempted to get a colonic but worrying if something is wrong inside it could make matters worse.

I have a doctors appt booked for a couple of weeks as I noticed that when I look down, I have a slight bulge on my right hand side of my tummy but this could just be my bowel. I still don’t know if I’m brave enough to go because I’ve heard a test for looking at this type of thing is being X rayed while attempting to go to the toilet. Which would be pointless for me as won’t happen.

I don’t even know how to start talking to a doctor about this…

I’ll post a pic of my tummy incase it gives any hints.

You’re right it was very prominent that morning (this was before I had even eaten anything too). It’s not always quite so obvious.
Does anyone who suffers with constipation get bloating on one side like this? Or is it usually across the whole stomach?

I was taken 2 doses. I’m going to drop back down to 1 dose I think as now what I do pass is too loose.

No please don't try suppositories and titrate movicol without seeking medical advice. Normally Im a big fan of self care but this visible lump in your stomach is really concerning to me. I think it's possible you are faecally impacted with a very stretched bowel but someone needs to be examining your abdomen today.

If you have impaction the watery stool you are experiencing can be "overflow" (dr's words not mine!
So basically it's moving around the solid poo mass.
Do you have lower back pain? This is another sign of impaction...
I ended up in hospital with this after not being able to go for a month.
I was put on a regime of movicol, Senna, antibiotics. Oh and the suppositories and at home enemas.

I think there are two issues here, firstly the lack of sensitivity and muscle control and secondly an impaction in the bowel.
The second is the more urgent matter.

I know someone who had a similar blocking/impaction in the bowel and they had a sore swollen area but on the left hand side. They had a normal xray after a doctor felt their tummy and abdomen to understand the issue. These are not embarrassing in any way and the xray confirmed an impaction. Medicines were prescribed to clear the impaction which should be under a doctor's advice. Do not just take laxatives long term. If the impaction doesn't clear they may do a CT scan, fully gowned like the xray - not intrusive in any way.

Once you have shared the information with the first doctor or nurse the embarrassment will lessen greatly. You have a medical issue that needs to be treated. If this had just happened suddenly you would be going to A&E to be seen and helped without delay so there is no reason not to do the same now. You can tell them you've had ongoing difficulty moving your bowels and you will be referred to a Gastroenterologist who performs hundreds of colonoscopies a week. It is a sensitive topic for us but it's their day to day job and they chose the job to help people in these exact situations.

As an IBS sufferer with a family history of colon cancer and polyps in my bowel these check ups are essential for me. You can be sedated and doze throughout or see your insides on a screen while it's done. The anticipation is worse than the procedure.
I really hope you get seen soon, no bowel movement and fecal impaction can be serious.

Hi OP, Read this last night and been thinking on it. It is shouting rectocele tbh. Hope the GP can shed some light on it all. I wouldn't do any more home care without proper medical advice.

Thanks so much. It does sound very much like it when I look it up. Thank you.

Thanks so much. I really want to try and get this finally sorted so I will just try and get past the embarrassment. How I long to just go to the toilet like a normal person!

I get it on one side, it’s noticeable to me. My waist only goes in one one side.

@Embarrassingproblemhelp - I feel for you. I have same. Constipation and no sensation.

I suffered terrible constipation as a child and wonder if nerves damaged. I also have terrible IBS C. I’m now in late 50s and find it hard to travel aka be away from home. I don’t eat out. Home cook meals 90% veg (and never potato’s). Still no improvement.

the only thing that makes me go is magnesium powder in water followed by lemon juice. It liquifies everything. It’s called powder available at the Finchley clinic. I use a small amount every night.

my gp has been totally uninterested and I’m now at this point.

I wish you luck with your GP OP.

White bread can definitely cause me constipation. I have slow transit (aka lazy bowel) but last weekend ate a whole pack of bagels and still paying for it. I took a suppository mid week but not a whisper!

even if you think you eat well and exercise you can be sure you need to do more. When I go away walking I usually have a complete and sudden bowel movement after one or two days of 10 mile hikes. Also certain yoga positions can trigger a natural movement for me !

Yes white bread is awful, and bagels are evil!

OP, l agree it sounds like you have a rectocele which, as described by pps, means the poo gets stuck behind the bulge in your rectum. I have been suffering with this and after seeing my GP quite a few times for constipation and incomplete emptying she referred me to a colorectal nurse who examined me and diagnosed the rectocele. She also advised me on diet, use of laxatives and the use of the glycerin suppositories when needed. I was also given a a pack of small gadgets called Navina mini cones where you can flush out the retained poo using water pressure.
I am booked in for the Proctogtam procedure too ( the xray you were worried about ) but hope it won't be too embarrassing. I have been reassured you are given privacy and only necessary staff stay with you. I just keep reminding myself that this is something the staff do every day!

I really wouldn't take anything until you've spoken to the gp. It could make the impaction much worse

I've had the proctogram procedure and it really is fine. The staff are very used to seeing a string of anxious patients and are brilliant at putting you at ease.
A small amount of paste is put into your colon and then you are led to a cardboard toilet behind a curtain. The staff retreat behind a screen out of sight and watch the screen because it's like an x ray.
No one watches you. You are entirely private. They will give instructions to push or hold etc while they observe the passage of paste.
Your dignity and privacy is maintained at all times. It really is fine. The worrying is worse beforehand.
I was also worried about not making it to the toilet from the bed and they were so reassuring and kind. "Oh we get paste on the floor all the time, don't worry!"
It gives them a really clear indication of how your lower bowel works.
Would also recommend the glycerin suppositories which I buy online.
I saw only women during my appointment time. I believe childbirth has a lot to answer for later problems.

I only ever had problems after my twins, went to drs and a specialist, changed diet but tho it helped a little I just have to live with it. My hubby is very good knows all about it and even makes me food that's supposed to help a couple of times a week. But very similar tummy swells and then after a few days back to normal

@ Stepfordwifey, thankyou for your post about the Proctogram procedure. Mine is scheduled for a couple of weeks time and the description of your experience is very reassuring. I have some glycerin suppositories already and thought l would use one before attending so l have an empty bowel, but was told that these are administered by staff prior to the paste application. I hope your Proctogram provided some answers for you. Did they speak to you about their findings on the day itself?

I had to wait for a follow up appointment. A combination of IBS, rectocele and weak muscle tone are my issues. So life revolves around constipation or diarrhoea unfortunately.
Exercises were the only solution offered and a radar key for all those closed public toilets!
I rely on glycerine suppositories and lopermide bought online.

You have to ask yourself what's worse? A minute of discomfort eating 8 prunes or sitting for an hour trying to pass a stool that just won't come. Prune juice is also very effective, as are figs. Plus lots of water.

Rice is very bad as it stodges you up. Bread, especially white, is also bad, as are cakes, etc. Up the vegetables and lower the flour/rice.

That's for general constipation - but as others have said you should probably go to the doctor's first

Agree
Do not go onto the high fibre diet until you have been seen
It can sometimes make things much much worse if you are impacted

Sounds like you're impacted. Start taking something like fybogel every day for a few weeks.
When you say you don't feel the need, this could be because you're straining it all out before it's ready to come out.
Take the fybogel, plenty of water and then see if you start to feel the need to go.
A warm hot water bottle and gentle tummy massage will also help.

Hi OP, I'm having a proctogram at some point as I've had a failed rectocele surgery.

But they don't just get you to poo, they give you barium meal both anally and orally, you don't have to have a normal poo, the x-ray picks up the barium on the screen.

And you don't have someone in your face, you are behind a screen.

FWIW, you can self refer to the NHS continence clinic where I live, that might be worth a try.

Hi @Embarrassingproblemhelp

I can relate to your bowel issues, and wanted to share my 'story / journey' with you.

I was chronically constipated for most of my life (40 years). I would average a bowel movement once every 7-10 days. I tried everything to improve my regularity. I drank a load of water, upped my fibre through various fruit and veg, saw my GP several times and was prescribed Movical which never worked. I also tried massaging my stomach & colon area following along to videos on YouTube.

In order to have a bowel movement I often relied on Senokot Max. For years!!!! I would be taking 2-3 Senokot Max tablets before bed a few times a week in order to have a bowel movement. I was doing this for years just to get some relief. I had also mentioned this to my GP and their response was - well if it's working then you can just continue doing it. Long story short, Senokot Max became quite hard to get a hold of a couple of years ago. It was out of stock everywhere. Generic brands did nothing for me nmatter how many I took.

Colonics were something I had considered for years, but I was always too anxious to go have one. A couple of years ago I was incredible constipated. It had been over 2 weeks without having a bowel movement. I was uncomfortable and also extremely worried that I had an impacted colon. I finally bit the bullet and made an appointment with a very reputable holistic colonic irrigation clinic.

I managed a small bowel movement a day or two before my appointment (anxiety poo maybe lol?)

I went into the clinic and the woman was amazing. Highly professional. We had a long chat about my history. My diet etc. She explained everything about the process and made me feel completely at ease. I got up on her table and she fitted the hose in me and we started my session. It took quite a while for things to get 'moving' but they did eventually. She massaged my belly and the colon to help get things moving and loosen things up and release trapped gas. A lot came out, but she was actually quite surprised that I wasn't 'as bad as she expected' given my history and infrequency of bowel movements. While at times it was slightly uncomfortable (just a very full bowel feeling) I was never in any actual pain.

Now here's the best part....!!!

I had my first and only colonic over 2 years ago. I can honestly tell you that I have had a fairly significant bowel movement (sometimes 2!) almost EVERY SINGLE DAY after I had that colonic! Almost like clockwork every morning within an hour or two of waking up. It's become the highlight of my day and I'm still amazed and so grateful that I can feel the daily relief of doing a number two on the loo!

The only time that I don't have a regular bowel movement is if I'm travelling. It's like my body knows I'm not in my normal comfortable place. So occasionally if I'm rushing out the door for an early meeting in London, or if I'm away on holiday. But once I'm back home then I go back to regular daily (or 2-3x daily) bowel movements!! I'll never take doing a 💩 for granted again!

One other important thing that I will mention is that that I did not really change my diet at all. I already ate a very low carb (no bread, nothing containing rice, wheat or oats, potatoes, and I keep my sugar very low). I didn't add in a load of extra fresh fruit or veg either. I eat a very low carb diet that consists mainly of animal protein (grass fed beef, chicken, fish, etc) and green veg such as broccoli, asparagus, celery, etc. I also eat a lot of nuts (mainly almonds, peanuts and cashews) and some full fat dairy daily.

The one consistent thing in my diet every single day (except when I'm travelling and can't get it) is 30-40g of 85% + DARK CHOCOLATE. It's very low in sugar, but very high in figure and I eat it every day. It wasn't until about 6 months ago that I realised that my missed bowel movements when I travel could be linked to the fact that I don't usually eat dark chocolate (I just haven't bought it or brought it with me while I've been on holiday).

But when I thought closer about it, 85% dark chocolate has 11g-12g of fibre per 100g.

To give you an idea, 100g of the following typically recommended ‘fibre rich foods’ will provide you with:

Apples: 2.4g fibre
Pears: 3.1g
Oats: 10g
Raspberries: 6g
Carrots: 2.8g
Broccoli: 2.6g
Spinach: 1.2g
Lentils: 10.7g
Chickpeas: 7g
Quinoa: 2.8g
Almonds: 13.3g

So when you compare dark chocolate to the the above foods, it’s got the second highest amount of fibre gram for gram.

I just wanted to share the knowledge I’ve gained and what’s worked for me over the past couple of years because I know what it’s like to be in the uncomfortable situation you’re in. If you’re up for a colonic then I’d really recommend one (do some research and find a reputable person who administers it while they’re sat there with you can can massage you) and give a few squares of pure 85% dark chocolate (or higher) a try for a week and see if it has any effect on you.

Good luck!

@itneversnowsonsunday thats a very good point about the chocolate! I eat 6 squares of 90% chocolate a day. According to the packet, this is 7.2g of fibre a day, plus it's 6g of protein.

Only downside is my skin has gone a bit yellow and I put it down to too much chocolate 😂

Amazing about your colonic though. 😊

OP I have no advice but you poor thing. Please put yourself first and get this thoroughly sorted out. And if you can, be open with your DH, I can't imagine not sharing this with my partner, you deserve some support, or if not him then maybe a trusted friend.