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Original poster

My son needs glasses for reading, close work, etc

57 replies

NotABanana · 03/05/2008 16:24

And my DH is gutted. He is so worried he will get picked on at school. DS1 is pleased as he has been wanting some like his friends and has been complaining of eye trouble for a bit. His eyes have changed since his last check so he is getting some glasses a week on Monday to see how he gets on.

He looked so cute in the pair he chose.

I feel a bit sad too for him, though it doesn't mean he will always need them and I have to wear them fro tv, close work, etc, so it wasn't a huge surprise.

OP posts:
tissy · 03/05/2008 16:29

your DH needs to grow up and support his son.

Children get picked on for all sorts of reasons, not just wearing glasses, and your son needs to learn how to deal with this, if it happens, not start with a negative attitude.

And anyway, given that your son's friends wear them, and he is pleased, it would seem that bullying for that reason isn't particularly rife at his school.

Both dh and I wear glasses for short sight, and it's therefore only a matter of time before dd gets short-sighted. She's really looking forward to it!

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 16:40

Oi! WTF are you on about? My husband is a brilliant Dad and he is only thinking of his son when he said he was gutted, who wants their child picked on? And yes, we are well aware of other reasons that kids are picked on as our son has been bullied several times before.

We haven't said anything to DS1 and it is all positive, he liked his own glasses and is very happy with them.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 03/05/2008 17:04

I worried about any of my boys having to wear glasses, because my eyesight is not brilliant.

I was very upset when we realised that DS2 was going to need them (he was 3/4).

Don't think it's that unusual a reaction tbh.

As it happens, DS2 isn't bothered about it, and never has been.

beaniesteve · 03/05/2008 17:07

Your DH is reinforcing the idea that being a glasses wearer is in some way a bad thing. Maybe not intentionally but he is all teh same.

I had glasses from the age of 10 and was picked on because of it, but I never felt like my parents had issues with it.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:08

No he isn't. He has said this to me not our son. He is happy and so are we if he is.

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bunny3 · 03/05/2008 17:12

We were gutted when ds was prescribed glasses - he already has eczema and severe allergies to deal with. We, of course, concealed our disappointment from him. He looks absolutely fab in his specs, quite cool actually and he hasnt been picked on at all despite being the only one in his class who wears them.

specsavers do really good frames, ds currently has pepsicola ones!

Get a spare pair, we have never been charged for replacements so always have at least 2 pairs on the go.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:15

Thank you bunny3.

There are at least 2 other children in his class who have to wear glasses and they are his friends. We had parent's evening last week and his teacher told us he has lots of friends.

His glasses are from Boots and have blue frames. He looked gorgeous in them.

I will order another pair when I collect the first one. Thanks for the tip.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 03/05/2008 17:16

I think most of us get a little upset if there is something wrong with our children.

And worrying about your children getting picked on - for whatever reason - is a fairly average reaction.

Like NAB's DH, I expressed my worries to DH, not DS2.

FWIW, I can't remember getting picked on for wearing glasses, apart from the odd comment (which you get about anything - being fat, being ginger, having a dipstick for an older brother....) and I don't think DS2 has suffered in this way.

tissy · 03/05/2008 17:16

I'm sorry for upsetting you, NAB, but being "gutted" about your son wearing glasses is just daft.

You didn't point out in your OP that your son has been picked on before, in which case I may have been more sympathetic.

I have worn glasses since I was 9 or so, and was bullied about being brainy, about having sticking out teeth, and my surname invited a whole host of cruel jokes. But no-one ever picked on me because I wore glasses.

unknownrebelbang · 03/05/2008 17:17

DS2 looked like the Milky Bar kid when he was smaller.

bunny3 · 03/05/2008 17:17

you might be asked to pay for a second pair if you say they are to be a spare pair. We were advised to give it a week then ring up and say they had got lost! then they wont charge for another pair.

DumbledoresGirl · 03/05/2008 17:17

I can understand your husband's feelings. My son had to start wearing glasses aged 8 and I thought it was the last thing he needed as he did not have friends. He only needed them for tv, whiteboard etc, but chose to wear them all the time from the very first day.

Despite my initial misgivings, there has not been a problem and he now has a close set of friends. Yes, he is considered a geek and I suspect the glasses add to the impression, but he is also thought to look like Harry Potter by people the world over and that can be no bad thing, right?!

I hope your son does not encounter any problems and I am sure you will all feel less sad for him soon.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:18

Thank you, unknownrebelbang.

tissy, if you don't mind, it isn't daft and you have no idea (obviously) what health problems are children have been through so I think we are entitled to be a bit upset that there is something else to deal with now.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:20

DumbledoresGirl, when your son wore his glasses all the time did his eyes come to need them more? My father and uncle were both meant to wear glasses. F didn't, U did and now F doesn't need them and U needs them all the time. I find it easier for on here and reading if I wear my glasses and I just want to do the right thing for DS1.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:21

I know the frames are free for DS1 but I don't know about the lenses.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:22

DG, again!, is the white board the same as a smart board?

OP posts:
tissy · 03/05/2008 17:23

obviously, I don't, as you didn't specify in your OP just WHY your dh was gutted.

Obviously, I know nothing at all about wearing glasses, health problems or bullying.

Your ds is pleased

he can see better

he looks cute

....reasons to be cheerful...

theUrbanNixie · 03/05/2008 17:25

NAB - while i understand you might be upset about your ds having to wear specs, i'm not sure what you wanted to hear.

there is nothing wrong with wearing specs, i've worn specs since i was 6 (and they were blardy awful NHS specs back then, not the funky ones kids have these days ) and am completely blind without them. i now work in optics as a senior dispenser so if you have any technical questions please feel free to ask.

like Tissy i was picked on at school for a whole host of reasons, but that was more because i just didn't fit in for whatever reason, rather than my specs.

i bet your ds will look gorgeous in his specs - kids look soooo cute in little frames!

billybass · 03/05/2008 17:29

I too look absolutely gorgeous in my glasses.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:30

Why is it one can't post something and it be taken at face value?

TUN, I wasn't expecting to hear anything in particular I just merely wanted to post about a new development in our house. If you don't mind, you could answer my 17:20 concerns, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:30

billybass

OP posts:
tissy · 03/05/2008 17:31

ooh yes, NHS specs- I had the dark brown "tortoiseshell" ones. I ceremonially cut up my school photo as I hated them so much, then next year took them off for the photo and looked tons worse as I was trying to work out just where the photographer was!

these beauties

theUrbanNixie · 03/05/2008 17:32

to answer your earlier question:

It doesn't matter whether your ds wears his specs or not - if he's going to need them full-time he'll need them full time regardless. the only worry is if he is wearing them to correct a squint or lazy eye, then it might go uncorrected and cause further problems.

It will make things more comfortable for him if he wears them - and some encouragement from you will only help!

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:34

He doesn't have a lazy eye or squint which I am pleased about as I did and had an op. His eyes ache, he says things go fuzzy and he sometimes mixes his words up when reading. He has had tonnes of you look gorgeous comments. He is happy and that is all that matters.

OP posts:
nooka · 03/05/2008 17:35

I think that wearing glasses really isn't seen as the stigma it was when I was growing up, and Harry Potter probably has a lot to do with that. Also the range of glasses now available to children makes them much more of a fashion accessory. I too was disappointed when ds needed glasses, and hope that dd won't (unlikely as both dh and I have worn glasses since we were quite small). I worried that it might affect his self esteem and his ability to play the sorts of rough games that he previously enjoyed. I wasn't gutted, and I do think that is a bit of an overreaction, but clearly there are some other things going on here. A couple of years down the line and ds is still the same child, his behaviou hasn't modified at all, and amazingly we have yet to break a pair of glasses. He loves choosing the frames (currently he has quite dark strong frames - very French Intellectual ), and dd was really quite sad not to have a pair of her own.

We pay about £40 per pair, a little extra to have thinned lenses and a little extra for the frame, and we've never really needed the second pair so stopped buying that (the pair before are good enough in an emergency). I'm happy to pay the extra but it's not at all neccessary - just doesn't seem much compared to mine which cost about £400 .

I'm also short sighted and wore my glasses all the time from the moment I got them (about 9ish or so) which I was told was a bad thing but meant I was less likely to loose them. Now I am as blind as a bat without them, but I don't think the two are related.