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Original poster

My son needs glasses for reading, close work, etc

57 replies

NotABanana · 03/05/2008 16:24

And my DH is gutted. He is so worried he will get picked on at school. DS1 is pleased as he has been wanting some like his friends and has been complaining of eye trouble for a bit. His eyes have changed since his last check so he is getting some glasses a week on Monday to see how he gets on.

He looked so cute in the pair he chose.

I feel a bit sad too for him, though it doesn't mean he will always need them and I have to wear them fro tv, close work, etc, so it wasn't a huge surprise.

OP posts:
theUrbanNixie · 03/05/2008 17:37

Absolutely NAB - i'm pleased he looks so cute!

I've seen kids come out of the testing room crying because they don't have to wear specs!

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:37

Gutted is how DH felt and he is entitled to that I think.

OP posts:
theUrbanNixie · 03/05/2008 17:39

does your dh wear specs NAB?

nooka · 03/05/2008 17:40

PS I was also never picked on for wearing glasses. The people who picked on me did occasionally do the four eyes thing, but it really was the least of my worries (and as I loved my glasses not something that ever bothered me). ds has never been teased about his glasses, in fact the first day he went into school with them the first thing he got was "cool you look like Hary Potter" and he always loves to show off his new look when he has a new pair. Loads of kids have glasses. It's really not a big deal.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:43

No, he doesn't but I do and his parents do.

FWIW I don't think he will get picked on (maybe by one girl who hasn't been very pleasant to him for over a year.)

Part of me wishes I hadn't posted now. DH is worrying for his son. Plenty of Dad's wouldn't care.

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 03/05/2008 17:43

why the fuck would someone be upset cos their child has to wear glasses? Get a life ffs, its just a pair of glasses.

My ds is 4 and has been wearing glasses for a year, its never been an issue and i wasnt upset when we found out he needed them.
Remember there are kids in the rest of the world dying of neglect,abuse and starvation.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 17:44

Been there, done that allgonebellyup.

OP posts:
tissy · 03/05/2008 17:44

oh good, mine wasn't the worst post on this thread

tortoiseSHELL · 03/05/2008 17:53

I was so upset when dd was prescribed with glasses. It's all very well saying 'there are kids dying of starvation' etc, but it's not a rational response.

Reasons I was upset (and cried buckets once she had gone to bed);

  1. It's horrid to think of there being something 'not perfect' with your perfect child.
  1. She is so beautiful, and I really didn't want her stunning eyes hidden behind glasses.
  1. She is only 4, and it seemed like it would be a real bother for her to have to worry about glasses.
  1. I didn't want to feel metal between our cheeks when I gave her a kiss.
  1. I really didn't want her to be bullied or to feel less pretty - in books, like it or not, the 'plain' children always wear glasses (especially the Enid Blyton type ones - eg Clarissa in Malory Towers, who only blossomed once she didn't need her glasses or her brace anymore.). And I didn't want her to get the whole 'specky four eyes thing'.

In actual fact....

  1. She is longsighted, so the glasses should bring her sight up, and she may not need them full time after a while, just for reading. And if there is something not right with her eyes, it is MUCH better that it be put right now, as, as the optometrist said 'by 8, it's too late.'
  1. She looks lovely in her glasses, really cute, she really likes them, and her eyes look even bigger and as beautiful.
  1. She is fine - takes them off for PE, hasn't broken them yet, is managing absolutely fine.
  1. This is a bit sad, but hey, it's only glasses.
  1. No bullying at all - she is at a lovely school with no bullying I've ever seen. Ds1 is DEAD jealous of them, which has given her loads of confidence, and she is not at all bothered.

So I do understand the feelings, I think it's really harsh to say 'it's only glasses, get a life', but the reality really isn't so bad.

I'll put my profile up which has pics of dd with and without glasses.

beaniesteve · 03/05/2008 17:55

As far as your son's eyes improving I would say that they are not likely to improve through wearing glasses. My optician told me (a lie) when I was 10 that if I wore them all the time my eyesight would improve by the time I was grown up. He said this to try to encourage me to wear them. I did and my eyes got very lazy. Infact when I broke them as a student and didn't have the money to buy new ones for a year I was told my eyesight had improved.

I'd say once a glasses wearer always a glasses wearer.

willow · 03/05/2008 17:56

Why are people being so hard on this poster? She's just posted about a new development in her house - and I can't believe there is anyone on this thread who would rather their child had eyesight that needed correcting rather than perfect eyesight - so why the need to be so harsh? MN is a strange place at times.

beaniesteve · 03/05/2008 17:58

pmsl at Tissy.

tissy · 03/05/2008 18:03

willow, I wasn't being hard on NAB. maybe a bit hard on her dh, who appeared to be disproportionately upset about a need for glasses in their son. NAB didn't state in her OP that son had been bullied before, that he had health problems or that he hadn't shown his disappointment to his son. She wanted us to react as if we did know these things, when we didn't. It's possible that this has all been covered in other threads, but afaik, it is not a mn requirement to know all about a poster before replying.

I think we should have a special topic for "Only post if you agree or are prepared to be sympathetic with my point of view".

And I did apologise for upsetting her.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 18:04

tortoiseSHELL Your DD looks beautiful with and without her glasses.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 18:05

Sometimes it would be nice to be able to post somehting without having to come back later and justify why you feel the way you do, or your husband does.

OP posts:
beaniesteve · 03/05/2008 18:09

NAB - I don't think anyone can be expected to know the whole story if you haven't posted the whole story

I posted in reaction to what was first posted, as did others. Maybe some people were harsh - the 'children are starving' comment was a bit OTT - but it did appear that you were saying your Husband has huge issues with the glasses thing, and so it seemed diproportionate to the 'problem' IMO

willow · 03/05/2008 18:10

Admittedly, personal background wasn't flagged up for all, but It doesn't take a brain surgeon to realise that NB just needed a hug and a bit of reassurance that her son will be fine. Empathy seems to be in short supply these days.

tissy · 03/05/2008 18:18

ok, then, an "I need a hug not an argument" topic, I'd definitely stay away from any threads there!

CoteDAzur · 03/05/2008 18:28

NotABanana, re "when your son wore his glasses all the time did his eyes come to need them more"

By this, I think you mean "Will his eyesight get better or worse?"

Assuming he is nearsighted (can't see far) his eyesight will get worse until he is well into his teens, and then this gradual slide will stop. That will be his eyesight until old age, where it might improve or he might need composite glasses for both near and far.

If he doesn't wear glasses, his eyesight will deteriorate much faster and his reading/learning at school will be more difficult/slower.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 18:35

he is long sighted

I was posting something about my day in the sam,e way I may have posted when DS2 first did something. Just after a chat about a family development, not a row! How can a post about a child needing glasses turn into an argument? Mumsnet is a strange place at times.

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 03/05/2008 19:07

Sorry, I don't know much about long sightedness.

I can't find where you mentioned his age, but assuming your DS is not a toddler:

If it turns out that your DS gets bullied because of his glasses or is otherwise badly affected by having to wear them, he can always switch to contact lenses. I was adamant about not wanting to wear glasses and managed contact lenses with no problems from the age of 8, when I was first diagnosed (never wore glasses). And that was a time when contacts were expensive, supposed to last two years, and had elaborate rituals of cleansing/protection/etc rather than the 'all in one' solutions we have now.

Original poster
NotABanana · 03/05/2008 19:18

DS1 is 7.

Just had a chat with him and explained when he would need to wear them and he wants to wear them all the time.

OP posts:
tortoiseSHELL · 03/05/2008 20:47

beaniesteve - the business of eyesight improving is entirely dependent on age. By age 7 or 8 it is hardwired into the brain and won't improve. Younger than that you CAN improve the sight. In dd's case, she is longsighted in both eyes, but more so in the right, and the sight is poorer in that eye, so the brain is ignoring the signals. The glasses should restore the signals from the right eye so the brain starts accepting it again. If it doesn't come up in 3 months they are going to patch it to bring it up that way. And also, I think as they grow, the eyes change shape, so she may grow out of it.

tortoiseSHELL · 03/05/2008 20:48

Thank you notabanana - i was so worried and upset, but am reconciled to them now!

CoteDAzur · 04/05/2008 18:01

tortoise - I've never heard of kids "growing out of" wearing glasses. Can you post a link to where you get that information? Just curious.

Also, this statement is completely wrong: "The glasses should restore the signals from the right eye so the brain starts accepting it again."

That is not what nearsightedness/farsightedness is about at all. It's about the shape of the eye.

If your eye is too flat (as if it were pressed from front and back), the image focuses behind the retina (rather than on it) and you are farsighted. Like OP's DS.

If your eye is too long (as if it were pulled from front and back), the image focuses in front of the retina (rather than on it) and you are nearsighted.

Nothing to do with "signals from the eye" at all.

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