My partner gets mad when I say no to sex

[WorthyDeer]

I really do love my partner, he is caring and everything but he always wants to have sex. If he is making moves and I tell him that I don't want to do anything, he will constantly keep trying. I then get angry because I shouldn't have to say it so many times. He then gets mad and say we barely do anything. He complains if he goes two days without. He always wants to have a second round, I say no because I just don't feel like it. He then says "We did it all the time and now you don't want to" It just really hurts because I feel like he is only thinking about himself. He sometimes just storms out of the room like a child and it usually ends up in an argument😪 It makes me upset tbh

I mean, you absolutely don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to but equally if he wants sex that’s ok too (what’s not ok is not taking no for an answer.)
Maybe you need an open honest discussion to find a path forward and maybe move on if you’re both not being fulfilled.

Yuck,no one likes a sex pest 🤢

He sounds awful and also like a walking turn off.

Pressuring you to have sex is coercion which is abusive. He's very immature if he's storming around like a toddler. Adults accept the word no.

If you're no longer working as a couple then it might be an idea to find someone more compatible.

Sounds like you are not that compatible. It is OK to ask, it is OK to say no. If any of this is done with "consequences", then it is not OK. Without wanting to undermine rape as a serious crime, being co-erced into having sex when you don't want it is rape. No, should mean no, with no further emotional blackmail or consequences. Personally I would not carry on with this unless you can have a good talk and sort out your boundaries. I am sorry you are going through this. xx

Coercive sex pest sums it up.
It's not very loving to have an aggressive outburst when your partner exercises her rights to bodily autonomy. That's worrying.
How old is this angry specimen OP?

He is a coercive, abusive sex pest. My vagina would clamp itself shut forever if I lived with this. Please ditch him OP, this won’t get any better and could get worryingly worse.

He's not caring, he's the opposite of caring, he's an abusive bullying git. LTB. He'll never change and it won't it won't get better. In fact, it'll get worse. Coercion isn't consent, OP.

Personally I would not carry on with this unless you can have a good talk and sort out your boundaries.

No, you don't "sort out boundaries" by asking someone else to allow you to have them or by compromising on those boundaries or by trampling over your own boundaries to make someone else feel better. OP has boundaries already, she's saying No. That's the boundary, right there. She doesn't need to do anything else to "sort it out". There's no "discussing it", which basically means him attempting to manipulate his way over/through/round her boundaries. Telling someone to respect your boundaries, when they're already not respecting your boundaries, isn't going to result in them respecting your boundaries.

Sounds exhausting. It seems like he’s rejection sensitive, and his behavior comes across as childish and self-centered. It might even stem from a narcissistic injury, which is a turn off. You want a partner not a child. Have you got kids with him?

He is 27

No, I have a daughter but it's from a past relationship.

Disgusting behaviour, he is a sex pest!
Show him the responses here

Yuck. He needs to accept that no means no and not keep asking you, and also not sulk or storm out of the room when you say no. This would be a deal breaker for me - I can't bear a sex pest.

No means no.

Coercion is abuse.

Sulking is the biggest turn off in history

This will not work.

It's okay to ask for sex, it's okay to say no for any reason you want. Sulking, stropping, getting angry, bullying, refusing to take no as an answer is all very very wrong.

Would asking him if he enjoys having sex with women who do not want it focus his mind?

There are still men who believe being in a relationship entitles them to sex on demand and that enthusiastic consent is no longer relevant. it’s a form of familiarity breeding contempt.

Explain to him this behaviour rouses nothing more than contempt for him

So he's only caring when he wants to be and he's coercive and abusive at other times. This is not partner material OP. You have different sex drives and are not compatible. For the sake of your child you should cut and run from this relationship before she starts noticing his abusive behaviour.

What he's trying to do is make it impossible/ awkward for you to say no. He wants you te feel worried, scared, apprehensive etc if his reactions to you saying no. That way, you won't say no, even when you don't want sex.

And what is it called when someone is forced I to sex they dont really want?

Remember this OP..

"Enthusiastic consent is the ONLY consent."

Coercive rape is a thing, even if it has taken a long time for the rapists to lay the foundations with gaslighting, aggression and guilt tripping.

Run away now, don't wait.

What the heck is a narcissistic injury?

How can you put up with this? Are you actually happy?

Leave. He's horrible.

Please listen to what the ladies here are saying - this is disgusting coercive behaviour designed to intimidate you into having sex, which very quickly can escalate into full on abuse.

Think very long and hard about if you want to stay in a relationship with someone who is a coercive sex pest.

And for gods sake him saying that if you go two days without sex is "hardly doing it" jeez he needs to wise up. What if he had to go six weeks post pregnancy or maybe six months if you had birth injuries? This is not someone for a long term bet.

Be aware of the message you're sending to your daughter about what you put up with in a relationship as I bet it's not just this issue, or won't be for long.

This relationship needs to end at the root of his horrible behaviour is that the two of you have mismatched sex drives. I would end the relationship anyway because coercive sex pest behaviour is not ok and he'll get it elsewhere if not from you.

From your point of view, if you want more sex with your next partner and have had a noticeable drop in libido not just from lifestyle factors like running around after children I'd go to the Drs to investigate it.

Take my word for it and leave. My exH was like this never satisfied always whingeing.
It gets worse as you go on. It wrecked my mental health.
It was a massive relief getting divorced after 20 years of this.

If he isn't willing to accept the difference in your libidos then I don't see how this will work.

Mismatched sex drives is an absolute deal breaker for me. You're always going to be miserable in this relationship and him not taking no for an answer is abusive. This is not the way a 'caring' person behaves.