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Cancer Support Thread 95 - No googling allowed 😊

978 replies

LemonDrizzle10 · 16/08/2024 13:56

New thread - we need to stick together!

OP posts:
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21
dancingwhilstfacingthemusic · 06/09/2024 09:46

Happy birthday @EachandEveryone - hope you have some good things in store.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 06/09/2024 10:01

Happy birthday @EachandEveryone Flowers

BatshitCrazyWoman · 06/09/2024 16:30

I have a bunch of appointments next week, had my CT scan today. Port insertion and first chemo next Thursday 😬

Littlecaf · 09/09/2024 20:41

3rd lot of Chemo tomorrow, and my blood test today has a couple of off results that are worrying me. My DSIL tells me that at some point most people get an odd blood test result but it’s giving me anxiety. I just want to get on with it and have no delays - nor for anything else to be discovered on the way.

GrannyGoggles · 10/09/2024 06:50

@Littlecaf it may be that your neutrophils are low. This is a v common side effect and leads to concern about infection risk. Anxiety and the desire to just plough on are completely understandable. I had several iffy results, it transpired that my neutrophils dipped dramatically before coming back up. I requested the bloods to be taken 24 hours later than routine and that seemed to do the trick and avoided the ‘off’ results. Fingers crossed no delay for you

GrannyGoggles · 10/09/2024 06:55

Bats hope you managed to have a peaceful & enjoyable weekend before all your appointments this week. Sending positive thoughts for Thursday and hope you don’t feels too knocked when you’ve had your first chemotherapy It’s a funny old time 💐

Nomorebear · 10/09/2024 07:58

@aodirjjd i had my first docetaxel yesterday and found that whilst i still felt sick during the infusion & cold capping. Once I got home i felt ok. which is a vast improvement on how I felt the day of an EC infusion. Not sure if this helps you or not?

Nomorebear · 10/09/2024 08:00

Oh and a belated happy birthday to @EachandEveryone 🎉

aodirjjd · 10/09/2024 08:02

Nomorebear · 10/09/2024 07:58

@aodirjjd i had my first docetaxel yesterday and found that whilst i still felt sick during the infusion & cold capping. Once I got home i felt ok. which is a vast improvement on how I felt the day of an EC infusion. Not sure if this helps you or not?

Thank you for thinking of me. It definitely helps with the motivation to think only two more of the “bad” cycles and then the next ones may be better.

drivinmecrazy · 10/09/2024 09:14

It's just hit me the past few days that I have cancer 😔
It's only been a few weeks and already I'm feeling in a spiral.
After being diagnosed with BC in right breast and told I'd just need a lumpectomy on 25th and then radio, they then found areas of concern in my left after MRI.
So today I go back for initial pathology for that biopsy.

The end of the road seems already be stretching.

I'm also getting anxious that this might mean it's back to the drawing board regard any treatment plan.

I feel as if I'm wading through treacle.

Doesn't help that I had a complete meltdown to DH last night and threw all of my toys out of the pram and told him I'm going to my appointment today by myself.

I figured that I could handle it on my own today but o haven't stopped crying.
I hadn't cried in over a week!!

He says he's going to finish work early and is going to come.

But part of me is hurt that he always asks me if I want him to come instead of saying he wants to come.

I know it's ridiculous and petty but I don't want to feel as if I'm interrupting anyone else's lives.

My sweet sweet DD2 (19) has said she'll come with me but don't really want to put her through that.

So now I'm feeling sorry for myself on top of everything.

When did life get this difficult? 😢

BreakfastClub80 · 10/09/2024 09:44

@drivinmecrazy bless you, it’s a real roller coaster emotionally isn’t it? It is nerve wracking when you are waiting for results and treatment plans, and you’ve had the extra snake taking you back a few steps. I do think it’s a bit like a game of snakes and ladders, all the way through tbh.

On a positive note, the set back means that your treatment plan will be the right one for you. If it changes, it will be to treat exactly what is happening inside and that will be much more reassuring in the long run. I know that you know this, but it’s really important to hang onto that right now.

Your family sound lovely, very supportive. I think you need to start putting yourself first and accept that this will affect them but that they want to help and support you. There are only so many ways they can do that and they can only do it if you let them. It’s difficult to get the balance between practical and mental support, and there is a certain amount of upset/rage etc that you will go through alone anyhow. But they are there for you, as you would be for them! I suspect your DH is feeling confused about whether you want him to be with you an appointments, it sounds like his default is that he expects to go with you. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to make your feel hurt, but I’m sorry you are feeling that way.

Cancer is crap, it’s a horrible disease that none of us want or deserve. Treatment can be long relatively, and complex. I remember being in denial for a long time, even whilst undergoing chemo. But you will feel a bit better once you know your plan and once you get going.

I remember saying to my DH, on the way to an early appointment, that I didn’t like thinking “I have cancer”, I would feel better when I could think “I’m being treated for cancer” and even better when I could think “I had cancer”.

Best of luck today xx

drivinmecrazy · 10/09/2024 10:01

BreakfastClub80 thankyou

GrannyGoggles · 10/09/2024 10:39

Oh dear @drivinmecrazy I’m sorry! It’s all crap

I don’t know if it helps to know that wading through treacle, throwing toys out of pram (kicking the pram over on particularly trying days), being enraged by husbands getting it wrong, fretting about inconveniencing others seem to all be part of the deal.

Like Breakfast I deployed denial, along with disassociation and a bit of rage.

You will read on here again and again that this waiting bit is particularly tough. It is.

I very much hope that in the not too distant future having gone through the ‘I’m being treated for cancer’ bit you can join those of us who are able to say ‘I HAD cancer.’ KBO 💐

BatshitCrazyWoman · 10/09/2024 11:15

Oh @drivinmecrazy sorry to hear your latest news. It's just the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it? I do understand about your reaction to your husband's 'do you want me to come with you?' question - we just want people to know what to do and say, but sometimes they don't. Do you actually want him to come with you? Or are you okay on your own, or with a good friend?

@GrannyGoggles I'm specialising in disassociating at the moment.

drivinmecrazy · 10/09/2024 13:19

DH has come home early, but he's still on the 'everything will be fine' page.

It's so difficult when I'd rather look at the worst case scenario and be pleasantly surprised, if ever it were to happen , if it weren't as bad.

He'd rather bury his head in the sand until confronted with facts.

I'm learning so much about the people closest to me.

I have to learn to be more tolerant and not make it all about me I guess.

I'll get there eventually I'm sure.

I'm realising that this is a completely life changing experience, the way you see other people and the way they see you

GrannyGoggles · 10/09/2024 13:41

@drivinmecrazy Actually it is ALL about you; your fears, confusion, anger, resentment whatever feelings. It is your body, your head, your life that’s had this grenade lobbed into it.

Minimisation - it will be ok, great treatment, I know you’ll be fine drove me nuts.

Like you I needed to take a good, hard look at what I was facing.

Your husband will be reeling, it’s tough on him, but it would be helpful if he could take your lead. And it’s a darn sight tougher on you.

One of the first things I said to mine was I cannot support you emotionally through this. You need to lean on others.

Well done recognising it’s a life changing experience so early on. I carried on denying that for a long time.

Your lovely girl may be stronger than you think, despite her youth. Let her in.

I truly hope ‘everything will be fine’ for you, but you and I both know that’s not guaranteed. Wishing you well navigating your way through

dancingwhilstfacingthemusic · 10/09/2024 16:00

@drivinmecrazy echoing everything that everyone has said today.
thinking of you and hoping you’re getting a clear pathway from the meeting.

it really is all such a pile of crap to work through. 💐

Littlecaf · 10/09/2024 19:57

Had my chemo today despite weird bloods, need not have worried, nurses were blazé “yep all approved, these things happen when you’re being poisoned” . I’d rather not know my blood test results if it’s going to worry me without reason!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 11/09/2024 07:47

I'm glad your chemo went ahead @Littlecaf It's a horrible feeling that your body is unreliable and 'out to get you' and acting in weird ways, constantly tested and throwing up something new to worry about. I hope you're feeling okay today?

dancingwhilstfacingthemusic · 11/09/2024 08:32

@Littlecaf this too will pass - for us all. I hope today finds your feeling improved.

I’ve woken upset and fed up, next op is next week followed by my chemo. I am so triggered by “that video” - there are other threads to discuss it on, and I don’t want to start argy bargy on this supportive thread (that auto corrected to argh Barry, which might be preferable).

Still on holiday with mum, her sunny loveliness will soon have me smiling. We get knocked down but get picked up again. A bracing walk on the beach will also do the trick.

Littlecaf · 11/09/2024 08:35

@BatshitCrazyWoman thank you - yes it was the easiest one so far! Feeling fine today, I’m sure it’ll kick in later this week! I didn’t want to delay as it’s my DS birthday next week and I’d planned his party for the weekend I should feel fine - I wouldn’t have been well enough to participate if they’d delayed chemo by a week. Plus the results still worry me - can’t believe they put them on my “Patient Knows Best” account - just so I can worry about it - the nurse said they don’t usually do that but post them after so you still have full access to the results and any decision - just not immediately so you worry!

Gosh this is all so hard huh! But yesterday I sat with my little chemo crew (same women I’ve sat with for the last two) and they cheered me up laughing at our cold caps and PICC line issues. 😂

Littlecaf · 11/09/2024 08:37

@dancingwhilstfacingthemusic this too will pass is constant phrase in this house currently!

Thank for your message, I hope you find some peace and just enjoy the holiday 😀

drivinmecrazy · 11/09/2024 09:18

Well, yesterday was interesting.
Isn't it always 😂

DH did come home and came with me. Which was great.
But why doesn't he hear the same as I do? His interpretation always seems so off that I wonder if he's even in the same room sometimes.

Anyhoo, it turns out the biopsy on my leftie showed no cancer so I need to have an MRI biopsy on the area behind the nipple.
My hospital don't have the equipment so waiting for an appointment from Addenbrooke’s.

So that's fine.

My consultant has decided to send biopsy from rightie to America for the Obcotype DX recurrence test to help her decide if I'd benefit from chemo or not.

So no Op this month.

She did reassure me that waiting for these tests are not going to affect my outcome so I guess I just have to trust her.

Honestly, I know why they're doing all this belt and braces stuff and for that I'm so grateful.
But I'm finding it so difficult waiting before active treatment.

I had a lovely breast cancer nurse yesterday who took time out after the appointment so I could have a good cry and let it out.
She was so much better than my assigned nurse.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 11/09/2024 10:21

@dancingwhilstfacingthemusic that bloody video annoyed me, too! Am not a fan of the monarchy.

@Littlecaf pleased it went well and you feel ok.

Sending a hug @drivinmecrazy , they're being thorough for you, but it's so hard being in limbo 😔

Port insertion and first chemo tomorrow, and I feel a bit sick. Breast consultant appointment today, am in the waiting room now. CT scan was clear, cancer hasn't spread, so that's some good news.

I'm so so tired 😫 the oncologist is testing my thyroid (I have an overactive thyroid but it's in remission, he wonders if it's gone under active). I have to sleep in the afternoon, otherwise I'm falling asleep at 6 pm. It's a bit shit.

Littlecaf · 11/09/2024 12:30

@BatshitCrazyWoman that’s great that the CT scan was clear - the relief after mine was ok cured my migraines (I was having migraines for 18 months). It’s a positive in this very shit situation we are in.