Cancer Support Thread 95 - No googling allowed 😊

[LemonDrizzle10]

New thread - we need to stick together!

Well, my much anticipated and dreaded MRI led biopsy yesterday turned into a very long MRI session.

35 minutes face down in the machine and they couldn't find the 'area of concern'!

It appears to have disappeared.

No idea of the where's and wherefores, but there is no sign of it.

It was my first appointment where I actually had good news.

About ten days ago I had intense pain in that breast and was told by my cancer nurse that it's a likely side affect of a biopsy I'd had. I wasn't convinced because I'd never had that reaction before.
A few days later the pain just stopped.
So now wondering if it could have been a cyst or abscess?

I have an appointment with my consultant next week so am hoping this means we can crack on with a treatment plan now we seemingly only have the one breast to deal with
🤞

@breastcancerpanic absolutely! How well you put it about bringing together what is happening to you and how it is portrayed. It’s such a roller coaster going through the treatment that the working through of what it means for us each is processed much more slowly- I’m still pushing away a lot of mine so I don’t catastrophise!

@drivinmecrazy that is brilliant news. I am very cautiously optimistic for you.

I slept for a solid 7 hours last night for the first time since my op a week ago. I have clinic today to take off my fancy vacuum dressing and to tend to my drain. I intend to wash and put on actual outdoor clothes 😁🥳🥳. My reconstructed boob is looking good, for me it was the right choice to go for immediate reconstruction.

@drivinmecrazy That sounds very good! We get so used to getting bad news at these meetings that it must be a nice surprise to get some good news for a change!

@dancingwhilstfacingthemusic Great on the sleep, and the outdoor clothes! Can I also recommend a nap or rest when you're back - I think it feels particularly welcome when you've actually been out and done something.

ranty sad post. Be aware.

I’ve just had a breakdown at DH. It’s my 40th on Wednesday. We were meant to be having a party at the weekend. We were meant to be going to Disney Paris in half term. All cancelled because of diagnosis and chemo dates. I’m sad and bummed out because everything has changed because cancer.

if I’m lucky I might get my wigs on my birthday. Lucky me. Wigs because I lost my hair because cancer.

apparently I’m being selfish. Because it’s not just me this has affected. And that a 40th was never a big deal. (It was and is to me).

im super bummed out today.

@ememem84

I’m sorry about the party, the trip to Disney, your 40th. It is all a big deal and cancer has nicked off with it.

And yes, others are affected. And yes, aren’t we lucky that treatment is so good/it’s been caught early/hair loss is temporary.

You get to be super bummed out. It might not all be about you, but mostly it is. Bet you’re busy being super positive for your young children. Sorry it’s tough for your husband. But it’s toughest of all for you.

Can you do some thing for you now, and then on Wednesday? Just you, doesn’t need to be huge, but just for you.

Hugs

@ememem84 Oh you're so not being selfish, there is so much to deal with and it's hard being upbeat for the benefit of others sometimes when it's your world that has fallen apart. Yes, it affects others but they are not the ones metaphorically staring down the barrel of a gun. I'm only just starting on this road and have discovered this already.

I echo @GrannyGoggles suggestion to do something special for just yourself.

Plus side. It’s my boys birthday party today. And this is the cake I had made. How amazing!

@ememem84
You are well entitled to feel how you do. It does involve others I am conscious of that but what the heck!. The first time I saw my DM after diagnosis we were talking about something and she said " well it's affecting us all you know I'm not sleeping"!!!!
I will never forget that. So sorry mother!! But she's older and doesn't think before she speaks. I bet you your DH probably feels dreadful about what was said. It is about you first and foremost and utterly shite. I vote for a second 40th in 6 months time.. like the queen. Pick a date and make that the new birthday. And you should have presents for both!! Sending love x

Ooo just seen the cake! Wow!! I burn those packet mix cookie things! I am in awe!!

@ememem84 rant away. It's all really shit. You are the most important person in all this, and your DH needs to lean on/complain to someone else. Definitely have a second 40th in 6 months time - and yes fabulous presents for both!

And yes, loving the Sponge Bob cake!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/promoting-hope-preventing-suicide/201705/ring-theory-helps-us-bring-comfort-in?amp

This has been helpful to me when I’ve needed to support others and postion myself appropriately. Last year I did say dump out to my husband and adult children.

It’s been a marker point in my recovery that they can now dump on me again

Dump out Ememem, dump out! Mr Em, do the same, your mates, your mum, your colleagues, the milkman - dump out, comfort in

Happy Birthday to Master Ememem. Cake is looking good

Thanks guys!

it’s been a tough couple of weeks. Chemo bejnf delayed hair falling and birthday. I will bounce back.

im also exhausted. So that doesn’t help.

im so grateful for everything DH has done so far. Honestly I have no idea how I’d have gotten this far without him. But ugh it’s tough.

@ememem84 just adding my echo to the wise words here. It is shit all round. It’s important to keep communicating about it as there’s nothing worse than bottling up. I hope you’re able to do a few small nurturing things today at least.

my ds1 is off to the USA for 3 weeks today. I’ve got my game face on and up and about clothes to give him the cheeriest “have a fab time”. It’s been hard on him losing his grandad and with my illness. I hope he will recoup and enjoy.

The arbonne crew at the school gate has been hounding me today to purchase their 7 day to a new you feel better shite today. I’m so pissed offf with them. Blocked them all. Idiots.

Channel that feeling!

I'm almost ready to press the button on this t shirt … thespark.company/products/body-positive-fucking-radiant-feminist-t-shirt

I buy loads of things from them.
This one gets loads of comments www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1267753472/feminist-shirts-i-wont-be-remembered-as?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=i+won%26%23039%3Bt+be+remembered+as+a+woman+who+kept+her+mouth+shut+shirt%2C&ref=sc_gallery-1-1&pro=1&sts=1&plkey=2a08e7d6990b6faa5b211a21b7d2e932ef1a68f1%3A1267753472

That’s great, thankyou!

I love that!

Has anyone had inconsistency with pain with the wbc injections? (Fibrustim?)

I had aches on the first night the first time but wrote that off as coincidental illness as I also had a fever that night and the aches stopped when fever broke.

On this second round I’ve sailed through the injections until the last one where I’ve been in agony.since last night. Is it normal for it to hurt sometimes but not others? The pain is awful I’ve dug out the coedine I took for my masectomy I’m hoping i don’t have to take it for long. Bloody run out of paracetamol.

I hope the codeine helps @aodirjjd I read all the side effects of the injection (I only do one, 24 hours after chemo) and was a bit put off and convinced I'd have them all. I've had two chemo sessions now, so two injections, and I haven't had any effects at all, which has made me wonder if it's working! I've read taking Clarityn can help?

@BatshitCrazyWoman thank you. Coedine didn’t help very much so I rang chemo nurse in tears who told me it was all normal and to take paracetamol.

I managed to find some after some digging and amazingly it seems to have worked better than coedine? But I also got a hot water bottle at same time so maybe it was that. The pain is still there but it’s manageable where’s before it was agonising. I’ve got 4 more chemo sessions and I take 5 injections each session, motivating myself to take them next time wil be really hard. Especially because chemo nurse told me it might get worse each time!

I’m def feeling worse this time after chemo. More tired. Although we’ve had more on (birthdays etc) so maybe that’s it.

I don’t feel completely dreadful. Which is an absolute blessing. But the fatigue. I slept 14 hours last night in total. In 2 sections.

today I have to take dd to a party (hooray…! DH is refusing because he’s had it with birthdays now - apparently I’ve upset him so much and he’s also forgotten his mums birthday). And then we have a shit ton of tidying up etc to do. And a food shop. And laundry.

there are toys everywhere from dhs party yesterday - very generous presents but because he’s 7 and excited he opened everything and scattered it. So I’m going to have to make a pile of Lego.

My hospital doesn't give filgrastim injections as a matter of course. I wonder why that is.

Hope you feel better soon.

I got a 'Please come back' marketing text from my hair salon and felt quite upset. I shaved my head last week but am finding it quite upsetting as it is of course still thinning.

Had a big panic yesterday evening, just couldn’t stop crying and had a good shout and threw a few (light) things across the room. I’m so fed up of being “ill” and I’m anxious and nervous about the future. I’m constantly paranoid that at some point a doctor is going to say “thanks for playing the game of life but……”. Having your future in someone else’s hands is just so stressful.