Cancer Support Thread 95 - No googling allowed 😊

[LemonDrizzle10]

New thread - we need to stick together!

You won’t have to pay full price get the nurse to give you a prescription. If u are near ware there’s a fabulous shop there. As Winter is coming you will appreciate the warmth. My hair was my best feature but I had no qualms about getting it all off as once it starts shedding it’s painful. I got loads of good hats and one expensive wig with the prescription. I also got my eyebrows bladed that was the best thing I ever did.

thats my mop and eyebrows today. Hair grew back very quickly

God I’m tempted to get Botox but cancer and Botox don’t really fit do they?

I’m getting a pre chemo haircut and will donate my hair to the little princess trust. At least a little something good will come out of this nonsense.

www.littleprincesses.org.uk/Documents/Hair%20Donation%20Guidelines%20-%20June%202024.pdf

More info
www.littleprincesses.org.uk/donate-hair

@EachandEveryone yay to hair and brows! Glad to hear positives about blading - am considering it.

Although the hair is a completely different colour!!! I don’t think I can be bothered to start dying it again I will see how it pans out.

id get the microblading before you start. Some places can be funny.

i had my eyebrows done with powder brows (or ombré brows) - a lighter version of micro blading before I had chemo. I’m on round three and the eyebrows hair is starting to come out, but I still look normal. Three relatives and friends absolutely recommended it pre chemo - I’m so glad I did. You have to do it before chemotherapy though as it’ll need to heal before your white blood cell count drops - most experienced practitioners have experience of chemo patients so do your research first.

My round 3 hair is holding up with a cold cap currently. Have lost about 40% but still have an obvious bob haircut or short pony tail so doesn’t look too bad. I think it’s normal to have some patches - I realised if I don’t continue I will definitely loose my hair. So unless it all comes out and I shave it then I need to continue.

Where abouts are you?

@EachandEveryone Cheshire. Will ask about!

how long do these powder or otherwise brows last?

@dancingwhilstfacingthemusic about 18m - 2 years.

I did microblading as I wanted them defined as they do fade. You get a free top up within six months and they recommend yearly but it’s cheaper the .

i went to Karen Betts I think she said they have a clinic once a week in that posh place near you where the footballers live. She’s not the cheapest mind.

https://karenbetts.com/blog/karen-betts-and-her-clinics/

Thankyou.

Thanks again @EachandEveryone I've had a good chat with the brow clinic today and will be in contact with them for treatment in the gap after this week's surgery and before my chemo. I'll need agreement from my oncologist as the chemo will be within 5 weeks of the brow tattoo - just for info for anyone else reading.

I'm having a pity party for one this afternoon.

Trying to get my head around the fact I have cancer, dealing with all of the endless waiting for tests which just lead to more tests.

Trying to stay positive because apparently 'I've got this' and I'm a 'tough cookie'.

Watching DD2 pack to go back to uni tomorrow 😞

I know I'm lucky to have people around me but sometimes that's the loneliest place to be.

I've been ghosting my best friend all week to the extent she started messaging my DDs to see if I was ok.

I'm tired of saying that I'm fine with it all.

If I'm down DH will ask 'what's wrong'. If I'm not the life and sole my DDs ask if I'm ok.

Of course I'm not you fucking idiots.
I have cancer!!!!!

Obviously I don't say that.

But everyone is used to me being in control, being the one they can turn to when their lives turn to shit.

So I find myself with an hour to myself while DD1 is at work , DD2!has gone out with her bestie to say goodbye and DH is not home yet.

The house is empty and I'm crying, playing crappy sad music on Alexa.

I don't have to smile and pretend I'm ok.
For just half an hour I'm gonna neck back a glass of wine, cry and say 'fuck the world'.

Just to apologise for the rant.
Obviously wouldn't say this any where else 🌷

Rant away, @drivinmecrazy It's shit

@drivinmecrazy. You're in the best place for a rant! My house sounds very similar sometimes. Two DS and a lovely DH but up until this shenanigan I was always 'Mrs sort it'. It's really hard when people can't understand you're not in that place any more.
Week 2 of my first chemo and I mentioned to my DM that I felt a bit better and she enquires if that means I might be able to go back and work through it!!! I'm fairly certain that's so she can tell all her friends 'oh my daughters working through it' nothing to do with how I might feel/cope!
People have some odd behaviours at this time! Enjoy the wine and music... the least you deserve!

@drivinmecrazy totally get you.
On the one hand I really need company and people around me, but on the other I'm kind of tired of trying to work out how to present the situation to them/explain updates. Tired of worrying about what I'm supposed to be feeling and doing at this point.

@drivinmecrazy totally get you. Absolutely what you say. I’m a total donkey on the edge at the moment. I feel like one of those hieronymous Bosch paintings where all seems fine on the surface but underneath is twisting creatures.

@dancingwhilstfacingthemusic
'Donkey on the edge' 🤭..! A very good description of things in this world!

@drivinmecrazy rant away. It’s exhausting having to put the brave face on every day.

it’s healthy to let the frustration out. And it’s a stressful time for you - tests etc and dd off to uni.

my gp told me to expect to go into a sort of mental shock when the chemo is over - because everything’s happened so quickly and I haven’t had the time to get my head around things.

im taking the time to be sad and mopey if I need to.

In other news I had my hair cut yesterday. It was under boob length. Now it’s between shoulder and chin bob. It’s the shortest it’s been for about 15 years.

bit nervous to do it but it’s a weight lifted (literally and metaphorically). I feel like I’ve taken back a little control.

Oooph @drivinmecrazy Yes to pretty much all of that! Staying fucking positive, being tough and capable, yes that’s me! Feeling sad and guilty about bringing sadness into our family and friends’ lives, feeling very, very lonely despite having loving support. Missing being the one who gets on with stuff, is leaned on, is the support NOT the one who needs support.

It’s a tough gig. Be kind to yourself. Your needs and feelings should be central right now. Maybe let your husband, daughters and friend know that actually you’re not ok, or brave. You have cancer, and you’re not ok about it. Maybe, one day, you will be, but right now you’re not. And that is ok.

And yes to @ememem84 ‘s wise GP. When treatment is finished you may experience post trauma responses (or not). And you’ll get through that too.

Honour your feelings and show yourself compassion. Solidarity from me.

@ememem84 Hair loss is really hard. Well done for wresting a bit of control back.

I hated being told it’ll grow back. I knew that. I’m not completely dim. So I’m not going to tell you that. I HATED that I looked like a ‘cancer victim’ and got head tilts, and ‘empathic’ sighs. I did have excellent eyebrows though. Had been toying with micro blading before diagnosis and decided to go for it. Highly recommend if anyone is considering it.

Coming up for a year since I finished chemotherapy and my hair is just about back to me looking like me again.