Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Bless him , poor old dh needs to go back to the hospice to get his pain sorted out

83 replies

Blandmum · 11/04/2008 18:30

I know that it is for the best, and they did a fantastic job in the run up to Christmas. I'm sure that they will do well by him again.

But this is the killer.

I have a day in a Day Spa booked for Wednesday, so he delayed going for 2 days so that I can still go.

I've never loved him as much and never wanted to slap him silly so much.

As it happens I think we can still arrange thing so that he can go early.

But what did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful man? And how shitty is life that such a good man should have such a disease and be in such pain?

OP posts:
QueenMeabhOfConnaught · 12/04/2008 17:06

MB, I was thinking about you all today - sorry things aren't too good at the moment.

My mum was in and out of the hospice a few times - they were fabulous and always sorted out the pain so well. Fingers crossed Mr MB's pain is sorted out too.

Original poster
Blandmum · 12/04/2008 17:10

We were told 'nothing else to be done' in the later stages of last year, and then the consultant phoned with news of a trial of a drug combo that had been used on bowel cancers than was being tested on Pancreatic cancers. So dh gave it a shot, and did get some benefit. But to be fair they didn't promise us much.

Worth your mother asking, they can only say no, and she may get some psychological benefit from the 'fight' IYSWIM.

OP posts:
policywonk · 12/04/2008 17:15

Yes, quite. Although I'll want to poke her oncologist in the eye if he turns her down. (It's complicated, but basically she completed a very punishing course of chemo to re-sensitise her tumours to the main chemo, carboplatin. Then the onc. stopped treatment without actually proceeding with the carboplatin, so it's that that she wants, if that makes any sense.)

Well I hope the hospice does the business for Mr MB on Tuesday - let us know how it goes.

Original poster
Blandmum · 12/04/2008 17:17

and carboplatin (of itself) isn't that bad. I mean it is, it is horrible, but compared to other chemos it is fairly well tolerated! What reason did he give? Has she had kidney damage?

OP posts:
trulymadlydeeply · 12/04/2008 17:17

Oh, Mr and Mrs MB, so sorry for you - you are staring into the future so bravely and with such fortitude.

We're sending love from France - you have a posse of admirers from around the world.

Thinking of you both much more often than I post.

Lots of love,

xxx

QueenMeabhOfConnaught · 12/04/2008 17:18

My mum was told that they wouldn't give her any treatment when her cancer was diagnosed - only pain relief. They totally wrote her off but they had chosen the wrong woman! They gave her a couple of months and she lasted nearly two years (after browbeating the doctors into giving her radiotherapy!).

The stubborn ones definitely fight to win!

policywonk · 12/04/2008 17:24

MB - yes, and she's always responded to it well (in that her tumours have always retreated). No kidney damage that we're aware of.

His reasoning, I think, was that she now has so many brain tumours (more than 30) that further treatment is pointless. However, that was a couple of months ago, and she's still trucking. I suspect he was pretty astonished to discover that she's still alive.

Also, when she does have carboplatin, she always has to have a lot of that blood-boosting substance (GCSF?) to keep her blood counts up. She thinks that the cost of the GCSF might affect his thinking - it's £500 a shot or something.

QueenMeabh - yes, bloody-mindedness does seem to count for something!

anorak · 12/04/2008 21:55

I know what you mean about the chemo Mb. With the drug I had to take for the first 8 weeks I said to DH I think if the cancer comes back I would top myself rather than go through this again. But you do what you have to don't you?

I never realised how foul chemotherapy is, and how ill it can make you, and I feel so profoundly sorry now that I didn't support my cousin better when she was on it. But I didn't know. Live and learn.

onlyjoking9329 · 13/04/2008 10:37

MB sorry to hear that your lovely DH is struggling with pain, the hospice will sort it out i am sure.
enjoy your Spa day.
i will keep things crossed for scan results.

WideWebWitch · 13/04/2008 10:40

Sorry to read this MB.

ajandjjmum · 13/04/2008 10:49

MB - you and your dh really deserve each other - you're both brilliant!

Hope you can still get some good times amongst the not so good.

Nbg · 13/04/2008 10:54

I hope the hospice manage to sort out the pain for him MB.

x

PollyLogos · 14/04/2008 07:00

Thinking of you all mb. I do hope that the hospice can get the pain under control.

You and your family continue to be such an inspiration.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 14/04/2008 07:07

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Original poster
Blandmum · 14/04/2008 07:08

He didn't have too bad a night, only awake twice, but he needs to get this sorted,

He'll go to the hospice tomorrow

OP posts:
BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 14/04/2008 19:26

What sort of day did he have ?

Pinkchampagne · 14/04/2008 19:30

Thinking of you, MB.

DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe · 14/04/2008 19:34

MB - you and your husband are an inspiring partnership. If I was ever faced with such a situation I only hope I could face it with the dignity, humour (and bloodymindness!) that you two are. Hoping that the hospice are speedy in sorting out Mr MB's pain.

Original poster
Blandmum · 14/04/2008 19:37

Not too bad, thanks, Bree. He was in less pain than yesterday (when he was re-filling hotwaterbottelks to help ease the pain every hour or so)

But he needs to get the pain sorted, as it is wearing him our

OP posts:
Hulababy · 14/04/2008 19:40

I hope the hospice can help sort his pain out again MB.

Do try and enjpy your Spa day. You do truely deserve it.

Thinking of you all.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 14/04/2008 19:41

There is nothing more wearing than being in constant pain.

Much love to you both.

I know things are hard at the moment and that ultimately there is not going to be a happy ending, but look back at how much you guys have achieved, how many trips you have been on, the man is made of steel and so is your relationship.

I am proud and humbled to "know" you both.

xxx

NaughtyNigel · 14/04/2008 19:42

ouch. a bit teary here.
thinking of yuo and Mr MB. hope the hospice sorts out his pain. and enjoy your spa day.

Slouchy · 14/04/2008 19:43

Thinking of you all. What brave souls you are. And how selfless love can make people.

xxx

UnderRated · 14/04/2008 20:01

Oh MB. He sounds so wonderful. And so do you.

cazzybabs · 14/04/2008 20:08

What is the issue with the spa day - could a MN help you out? Ithink I am too far away but otherwise would love to hlpe you out. If you sre really stuck (is it child care I am happy to drive up and hlpe put) -a lhtough I guess you may not want a stranger intruding on your lives at this point.