Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Bless him , poor old dh needs to go back to the hospice to get his pain sorted out

83 replies

Blandmum · 11/04/2008 18:30

I know that it is for the best, and they did a fantastic job in the run up to Christmas. I'm sure that they will do well by him again.

But this is the killer.

I have a day in a Day Spa booked for Wednesday, so he delayed going for 2 days so that I can still go.

I've never loved him as much and never wanted to slap him silly so much.

As it happens I think we can still arrange thing so that he can go early.

But what did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful man? And how shitty is life that such a good man should have such a disease and be in such pain?

OP posts:
brimfull · 11/04/2008 21:34

aww shucks

am all teary

hope the pain goes and the spa is fab

windygalestoday · 11/04/2008 21:35

thats so lovely but so sad

MissPaulaYates · 11/04/2008 21:37

yes - too lovely
too sad

hope his meds get re jigged x

VanillaPumpkin · 11/04/2008 21:41

Oh MB. Thank goodness for your DH's bloodymindedness. Will be thinking of you. Sorry he is in so much pain again .

SorenLorensen · 11/04/2008 21:42

Anorak, and everyone else, is right. He's done it for you because you would do it for him. Because you love each other. It's patently clear whenever you post about him. You enjoy your spa and I hope the hospice can help him again. I think about you a lot, mb (does it help a tiny bit, to know people you have never met are sending you their best wishes - from such random places as Bermuda and Macclesfield?)

Tickle · 11/04/2008 21:48

Lovely posts here (sniff!) MB you can add Denmark to SorenLorensen's list

Have a lovely day at the spa, and I hope the hospice can make MrMB more comfy

pointydog · 11/04/2008 21:51

wishing him a while without pain

Califrau · 11/04/2008 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

taipo · 11/04/2008 22:13

Sending you best wishes from Germany.

That is so touching. What a wonderful man you have.

Alambil · 11/04/2008 22:56

What a bittersweet post

Really hope the pain settles for him quickly and that you can relax a bit at the spa

Original poster
Blandmum · 12/04/2008 08:47

As an update....

Macmillan nurse got the doctor to precrube Buscopan for Dh's intestinal cramps (no longer being conrtoled by the Gabapentin and Opiates)

and last night it seemed to have some effect.

and if that is the case he might not need to go into the hospice.

We are not rushing to prejudge, one better night does not a solution make, but at least he had the better night

OP posts:
Bridie3 · 12/04/2008 16:14

Oh that's good news about the Buscopan. Fingers crossed that you have another good night. I bet you all feel better as a result of the one you had yesterday.

NotABanana · 12/04/2008 16:16

[sobs

Men can be amazing at times.

Have a lovely Spa time

Original poster
Blandmum · 12/04/2008 16:20

As the day goes on he is still in pain, so I rang the Hospice and he was booked in for Tuesday, which is a good thing, as it gives them longer to sort him our and hopefully get him out before the weekend.

He is just worn down by all the pain. and isn't sleeping (no me for that matter).

When I think that in Feb he was well enough to go for a walk on the mornings, now a good day is when he comes to sit downstairs[ sad]

Things are obviously moving on, and not in a good way.

ah well.

OP posts:
ladytophamhatt · 12/04/2008 16:23

Oh MB.

I feel so sad for you fro all.

policywonk · 12/04/2008 16:23

Sorry to hear this MB. It sounds as though some time in the hospice is a good idea - maybe they will be able to give him a new lease of life.

My mother was very worn down and confused a few weeks ago - sleeping 22 hours a day and not in a good mental state - but the GP fiddled with her medication (doubled her steroid dose) and she's much more chipper now.

I hope some thing positive happens soon.

Does this mean your spa trip is off?

Original poster
Blandmum · 12/04/2008 16:27

No, I can still go, and always could, as my kids are back in school and I've arranged for a mate of mine to take them in. I may have to leave a little early but that doesnt matter.

He went into the hospice just before Xmas and they did very well to control his symptoms. I just hope that they can do the same this time.

But we both realise that the 'good times' between the dips is getting shorter and shorter and that he has less stamina and energy even when not in pain.

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 12/04/2008 16:34

MB sending you all a great big hug

policywonk · 12/04/2008 16:35

I know what you mean. It is hard when you have to look it in the eye.

Is he having any active treatment? He was still on chemo until quite recently, wasn't he?

NotABanana · 12/04/2008 16:42

I am so sorry.

Original poster
Blandmum · 12/04/2008 16:50

he has had 5 rounds of the secondary chemo (if that make sense )

The last round was very tough and dh isn't keen to have another unless we can see that it is having a real effect on the tumours. Consultant agrees, and wants dh to have a scan before he has another round. Scan is booked for 2 weeks.

But I think that it will show tumour growth, since he is in increasing pain.

I don't think that he could physically stand another round of the oxaliplatin, as he still has a degree of neuropathy from the last lot, which was over a month ago.

I think that he has reached the point where the trade off in extra time simply isn't worth the effect on him.....last round put him in bed for 2 weeks.

OP posts:
policywonk · 12/04/2008 16:55

Right, I see. So a couple of weeks to wait and see, at least.

It is horribly difficult. I do feel for you.

Original poster
Blandmum · 12/04/2008 16:58

The thing is, people with no experience of chemo just seem to think that you would want to carry on regarless. they don't seem to grasp the idea that the stuff is so awful, and can make you feel so ill, you lose all quality of life.

So if the next round gives him an extra 2 weeks, and he gets to spend them in bed, in pain and feeling sick, why bother?

OP posts:
Original poster
Blandmum · 12/04/2008 17:00

(this will make you laugh though PW, my aunt was taken to her friends funeral....typical Welsh one, 'The bastards in the back aren't crying enough, put myfanwy on again'. poor aunt is so confused she asked the bereaved son how his mother was! Thankfully he was kind enough not to take offense. Bloody typical of aunt, the last funeral she went to she loudly asked, 'I wonder which of us will be next?' Gotta laugh!)

OP posts:
policywonk · 12/04/2008 17:06

, esp at myfanwy

I remember my bampy, who was quite long-lived, grousing about the number of friends' funerals he had to attend, because 'there'll be none of the buggers left to come to my funeral'.

He was right, too - his was pretty sparsely attended.

I suspect that we are about to have the opposite problem to you, MB - my mother has suddenly decided that she wants more chemo, a couple of months after her oncologist said there was nothing more he could do. She has an appointment to try to argue him around next week.

Swipe left for the next trending thread